The Pursuit of Happiness – Part 1

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The pursuit of happiness has to be one of the most overrated preoccupations of this world.

If you’re pursuing happiness the chances are you’re probably trying to ferret it out from someone, something or some experience that will somehow manage to deliver the goodies – try this for size, don’t waste your time, money and energy!

Life will always be full of disappointments, loss, and inconveniences. And let me go on to add something that may just pop your balloon on the whole idea of happiness – If you’re going to live a rich and fulfilling life you’re got to go through the full range of emotions – the good, bad and the ugly – and probably learn to treat all of them as one of the same reality and not just plumb for happiness at every turn and opportunity in the way a kid avoids his veggies and looks forward to only his ice cream dessert - the whole point of a purpose driven life is NEVER to limit the palette of your feelings and experiences to just stuff that is the direct opposite of happiness – trust me, you’ve heard of the poverty trap, well that’s the happiness trap – as even cruddy negative states of minds and really shitty situations all have something  valuable and good to offer.

For one they all cue us into what’s really important and without them; we probably wouldn’t be able to appreciate the full hemisphere of what it really means to be a human being let alone even begin to figure out and appreciate happiness – I suspect that could be one reason why when you look at the lives of highly effective leaders - they have all suffered at some point in their lives, it could be Mandela who spend the best years of his life in a 5 by 15 cell; or Roosevelt who had to deal with a crippling and debilitating illness – Charles De Gaulle: wo had to raise up a disable daughter – all of them have one thing in common – they have suffered – anyone who has ever had to battle an illness, go through a period of pain, uncertainty or simply have to make do with superglue, duct tape and rubberbands just to gety by will probably understand what I am talking about.

The whole idea of the pursuit of happiness is just one big fat mirage that’s perpetuated by the marketing manifesto – buy this, vote me in, put your money here, donate to this cause and you will be happy!

That’s a crock of shit.

In reality the state of mind we call happiness is not a natural state as it’s so often depicted by movies and books - neither should humans think of happiness as a right either - if anything happiness in the traditional sense these days is just product of a dramatic revolution in human expectation which has taken place since the end of World War II -  truth of the matter is happiness is not so different from sadness or any other human feeling or emotion.

In short, happiness would be pretty meaningless if not for sadness: to paraphrase without the contrast of darkness, there will never be any light. And none of us will be wiser.

In my view suffering, loss or anything that stands apart from the whole idea of happiness cannot be taken too philosophically –  neither should it inspire fear or trepidation either – I am reminded as an extreme sportsman and businessman,  every feeling that goes through us has something incredibly valuable to offer – that’s how mother nature intended it –for instance, if we don’t fear, it only means our eyes have not been honed and sharpened to seek out the jagged edges and that just means we will always be make lousy judgments as to whether we should fight or flee  - fear I remind myself is something that is not only very natural but if used properly, it can make us even better human beings –  and it should never be denied an outlet or even suppressed.

As the more humane we become, the more likely we are to suffer the dread of being lonely, disappointed or just feeling lousy over someone, something or some situation. To live, breathe and think simply means continuously reconciling ourselves with vulnerability, rejection and pain – but what did you really expect out of life, we are not old leather, made softer, more comfortable with usage– but that’s not such a bad thing and let me share with you why? – one can only grow based on the ability to look pain or fear directly in the eyes; and anyone who shirks from it – be it avoiding responsibility – in the form of a job, marriage or some experience that demands nothing short of commitment – granted, those who choose that path will certainly never feel pain; but trust me, they have not lived either.

Darkness 2010

“There is no such thing as a beautiful woman; it doesn’t exist – just as there is no such thing as an ugly woman either; it doesn’t exist either - it’s all up there in your head – I can’t believe we are having this crazy conversation on the eve of your marriage; really, it comes as a great shock to me…I am really disapppointed in you…don’t you realize it’s all there for the picking – it can be heaven or hell – it’s all right there in the palm of your hands…..it’s always been there. We better continue this conversation in a secure private line in Ekunaba…I am not very comfortable talking about this matter in a fish bowl.”

Darkness 2007 – Captured by an auto-bot crawler in a deleted thread in The Intelligent Singaporean – The Brotherhood Press 2010