where does the ability to empathize really come from?

Eva: I saw you today looking at those dogs trying to climb out of that tire – it was hilarious Darkness – but I found it odd that you would spend so much time just observing those dogs – care to share what was on your mind?

Darkness: If you must really know Eva, I was thinking about where the power to empathize comes from – my gut feel tells me it has to come from somewhere and never within that place called the heart.

Eva: Why not the heart? We love with your heart. Don’t we?

Darkness: Mmmm, that may well be true at one level Eva – only I feel, the whole idea of anything least of all an emotional oozing out from the heart has been evacuated of all meaning these days – forgive me Eva, but I just can’t relate to that idea in a meaningful way. Besides, even if that power really comes from the heart. There remains one problem.

Eva: Problem?

Darkness: Yes, Eva and it’s a pretty big problem – the nature of man isn’t good as it remains devilishly wicked.

Eva: How can you say that people donate to causes all the time….

Darkness: Eva anyone can make a generous donation or perform an act of kindness but that hardly qualifies as a honest act of benevolence that comes from our core. I suspect, a large part of benevolence has alot to do with doing things to make us feel better about ourselves – and that Eva, desperately falls short of any disposition to do good. Most people seem to confuse the two.

Eva: So, what is the dynamic that can furnish the ethic of benevolence or as you mentioned the capacity to empathize. Religion?

Darkness: Religion is not the answer Eva – if anything it’s one of many causes why we seem to be living in an age of strife – a dead end so speak. I mean you can practice Hari Krishnanism on Monday, make some type of offering to the Sun god on Wednesday – give alms to a holy tree on Thursday – and you would still not be able to produce the genuine ability to empathize or to be benevolent in a truthful sense Eva. It lacks the essential quality of reliability Eva.

Eva: So what’s solution?

Darkness: Perhaps these things all come from suffering – I am not here to promote self flagellation Eva – coming to think of it, I happen to think pain is really just pain and it’s no more a teacher than your door knob is some Messiah – but if the goal is to genuinely stir ourselves into a state of genuine compassion, kindness and the patience needed to deal with other people who may not share the same values as us, it can really only comes from one place.

Eva; And where is this place Darkness? Prayer meets?

Darkness: God forbid Eva – Prayer meetings are the deadest things man has confected to believe that he can somehow transcend his miserable lot. I would rather sit and waste my time listening to elephants fart than to be caught in that sort of cosy insiderism. No Eva, if anything real compassion has to come from experiencing loss, failure and perhaps the idea of picking up the remnants of one’s shattered dreams – it could well be failed marriage, business or even the idea we are selling ourselves short for not going for that dream job – but failure I think, teaches, a man many things. It doesn’t even have to be failure in a real sense – just having to work overseas or in an alien environment and having to manage yourself and others in a constructive way may well be locking horns with the broader idea of failure and learning about suffering.

Eva: What is it then Darkness?

Darkness: Maybe its just the crumbly idea that you have no choice but to climb out of the shit hole – I know this isn’t exactly a wow moment but that could well be a starting line – standing alone all by yourself cradling the idea that your courage may well be no bigger than a mustard seed – and perhaps even accepting the idea that you may have reached the end of the road – that’s a good place to start Eva, a very good start indeed. If we had more scholar working for Boeing in the US and Archer Daniel Midlands in Africa for at least ten or better still fifteen years before returning – I don’t think we even need to have this conversation Eva.