Learning how to see value in nothing – cultivating the flowers in your life
April 17, 2012
This morning as I walked the Northern section of my estate – I glanced amongst the countless palms. It is very difficult to explain the satisfaction that coursed through me when I saw that every one of them was pregnant with the full weight of fruit – as I look longer at this pleasurable scene, my eye was drawn to a multitude of different flowers that grew in between the palm – maroon and aquamarine and ochre. How pretty they all looked and as I took a full sweep of both the trees and these wild flowers this time – it seemed as thought this is how it is in life whenever we come across things that don’t really have a defined purpose or utility like flowers – as really they are quite useless; they bear no fruit; they are even purposeless and listless and remain only because there is a small sliver of land and a ray of hope to grow. But to say flowers are useless just because they do not produce anything that quickens the heart of the taxman is to miss the mark completely – as without these flowers that grow in between the palm, there would be nothing to charm the eye except the cold purposefulness of trees that are grown ONLY to generate revenue It is a mistake to believe everything that cannot be reduced to some quantifiable form of utility is necessarily useless – this outlook in life has to be a form of reductionism – as to adopt this attitude is to believe life can ONLY be enriched by chasing after things that are only productive and useful. If we take such a practical attitude towards the things we choose to do or the type of people we wish to cultivate as friends Then we may even drive out the good leaving only the bad. As I looked longer at these wild flowers – I began to see them as metaphors of what life is all about. These flowers mere not be able to bear fruit, but they are nonetheless emblematic of poetry and art, which all adds up to make life very beautiful.
“If you kill all the flowers that grow in between the trees in your plantation. Yes, you will certainly have a very orderly estate where all your trees are lined up like toy soldiers. But tell me how will your trees bear fruit when there are no bees to pollinate the trees? And why should there be any bees when there are no flowers and colorful weeds to attract them?
So it seems flowers are not so useless after all – in the same vein, if you find that your wife is preoccupying herself with pursuits that you may consider inconsequential and trivail. It is best to let her be. Do not impose your will on her or for that matter try to fashion her character into your very image.
Just as one may never be able to fully understand the ways of a flower or woman does not mean that it doesn’t have a purpose – it just means the purpose is to be purposeless. This is the reason why all women desire certain things that man can never understand. As a man is not so different from the magnificent palm – the palm does not grow erratically like flowers, it’s progress is measured and controlled like a precision rocket. Flowers have their own mind and go about the business of proliferating capriciously like free spirits. And this is why men and women differ in their point of views and how they even make decisions along with seeing the world.
But this is not a bad form of energy – it is simply something that needs to be understood and if possible harnessed and directed to bring goodness into your life.
Let your wife’s be the flowers that grow around your purposefulness as a serious man – let her grow in every way possible. If you wish to develop her confidence in the art of holding a conversation along with learning how to be an accomplished host to your friends and business associates. Then let her be the one who leads. And give her the full light while you sit contently in the shadows silently. A good rule of thumb is allow your wife to speak while you remain quiet and encourage her to grow in her skills to manage herself and others confidently. When you are with others – again stand back and resist the temptation to cut in - this way like the flowers that grow in between the palms – she can only add color and variety to your life and enrich the whole experience of living. As it doesn’t pay for a man to be so serious that he does not even know when to be soft and all he seems to do is nitpick his wife all the time - should you be foolish to do this, then your wife will be very complaint like the orderly plantation without flowers, but she will also be cowered and her confidence will always be stunted like a bonsai tree. And that is no bloody good. As those shorties don’t bear fruit. And if you keep finding fault with everything she says or do, she will get depressed and turn into an evil weed go shopping or eat 10 meals a day and as time goes by, you will end up with cancer of the wallet and a two metric ton internal beauty. Tell me is that what you all want? When the serious men of this world see that your wife is not the happy and self assured sort and is always so afraid to make a move without your permission – they will all say to themselves, “perhaps this man cannot be depended to do big things. After all he cannot even steward his family very well. Look at that bloody idiot, he doesn’t even know when to be soft, he is hard all the time. This man does not seem to know how to bring out the best in people it seems. There is no color to his life. And that is sad.” And if the serious men of this world conclude this about your character, then you will not go very far in this world, no matter how well educated or intelligent you are. As you do not seem to understand the importance of allowing the flowers to grow to enrich your life – as to do so is to understand even in softness there is hardness, in listlessness there is rest and only then can there be balance and harmony in your family. It is very simple. No man can possibly search for his place in destiny, when his house is in a mess. This is slow acting poison and will disable EVERY man eventually. But when there is a right mix of the useful along with the trivial, the focussed along with the diffused, the purposeful along with the capricious – then and only then will your life be in accordance with the laws of heaven and earth. Only then can you have the peace of mind to do dedicate your mind, body and spirit to be a man of consequence. Be mindful of the yin and yang in your life. And remember always, the serious men of this world will always judge you through your wife. This is what wise men regularly do, they judge a man by how well he can bring out the shine in his wife – and if it is done well. It can only reflect very well on you – as you have been a wise farmer who knows the value of cultivating even things many people consider useless and inconsequential – research and study this well.
This strategy of cultivating the flowers in your life can be used to understand why your wife and girlfren can never keep time and will always do things that men usually consider stupid, time wasting and frivolous. Can also be used to empower your wife to take a meaningful role in helping you in your career and business. Can be successfully used to build the confidence of friends. But if it is a woman. There is a danger that you may be accused as a lecher – so be very clear abt your intentions. Do not be coy abt the matter, simply tell the girl politely, ‘I am so sorry to mislead you, but I have no intentions of fucking you. You are really not my type lah. I am just someone who feels that you need a friend.” Extensive experimentation has led me to the conclusion out of 10 women who you share this with, most will accept it, those who do not will try to blackmail you with the SMS’s you have foolishly sent her – so be clear and concise abt your intentions when complications surface to avoid possible accusations and embarrasement. Can also be used by policymakers to understand why the internet should never be messed around with and allowed to grow organically.”
Extracted from the way of the farmer – The Brotherhood Press 2012