The Wisdom of holding back
June 8, 2012
Never ever be an open book to others. I know that it’s considered hip these days to be highly transparent, forthright and approachable these days. Nonetheless, I am still a very big fan of holding back. And the reasons are very simple. Good news is not always good news. Especially when it’s FREE. Neither is sound advice ether. When it’s FREE also. At times going on and on like a broken just fades into background noise. Especially when it’s FREE. Even wisdom if repeated again and again ceases at some point to be wisdom as it’s obviousness can very often degenerate into clichés and platitudes when they are given out for FREE. If a man is NOT mindful of choosing the TIME and PLACE and AUDIENCE that his advice is intended for – then it’s no different from loosing your arrows into the sea – all you’re really doing is dissipating energy without a defined game plan and as time goes by – this man can only be considered a fool.
A man who wants to be valued is always sparing with his advice and tight as an oyster when it comes to specifics and details. Speak only when you advice is sought. Even then always hold back. And only give when the other side is prepared to pay your price.
“All interesting books have a great prologue – it doesn’t matter whether it is Hemmingway’s old man and the sea or something really childish like Snow White and the Seven dwarfs. A man should really only offer a prologue of his character. No more or less. Keep it short and sweet. He should not allow others to read him from cover to cover on the first sitting otherwise people will thinking he is a washing machine. As they are bound to ask, why is this man so open that he reads like an instructional manual for my new DVD player – in this prologue there is very little except the basic outline of the plot along with the briefest of character description. If the other side has a file on you. Better still, as they probably know by now – 90% of the things there have been strategically inserted by you to give them an impression you are really no one, so how can you possibly be a threat? But as people begin to speak to you. You should show your more complex side to those who are preceptive to pick it up – as after a while even they will begin to discover that you are not such a simple Simon book after all. It seems you can be described as worldly and knowledgeable. But you always seem to be holding back more than you know. There are also many twist and turns to your character. Your life is not as straightforward as it’s depicted in the prologue. There are plenty of gaps and open ended sentences that suggest you are someone who plays the game within the game. You seem to take risk. But since there is no pattern to suggest you are reckless it points to some form of warcraft. Most of these things I have mentioned will be lost to common folk. But to the serious men of this world. They might conclude that still waters runs deep. But when you realize another understands you so well because in all probability, he is probably living the same life as you. You must still hold back. IMHO there is much more to reading a fellow – the way he carries himself. The choice of words he uses to describe his objects of interest. The rhythm in the way we walks and talks – to the untrained eye. All these things are meaningless scrawls. To those who are trained to see a thing. Everyday things can speak like how a chapter tells about a turning point in the story. Even very simple things like your car keys can tell a tome about you. If you are the type who walks around with more than 5 keys you regularly use and 3 extra keys that you can figure out what door they are supposed to open. Then you are just like 99.9% of the population. But if you only have one key. Then a storyline begins to unfurl. Maybe it’s a rental? Perhaps he has more a stable of cars? My point here is to illustrate how even very small everyday things we may choose to carry with us can actually reveal so much about who we really are. That is why when so much of ourselves is already screaming to the world as to who we really are – it is best to keep silent and even when you speak it short. Again as I said you are really just holding back.
As under those conditions that I have mentioned. The more you hold back the more your esteem can only increase in the eyes of others and less common will your words appear to be. To know when to speak at length and to be short and brief is one of the greatest discipline that every man should research and study. Nothing can be accomplished without discipline.”
Extracted from the Way of the Farmer – this series has been brought to you by the Brotherhood Press 2012
“Many people like to say the internet is full of shit. That is because they are not so different from diners who really only know how to dine on shit. If we have absolutely no trouble in imagining that a landmass or continent may be filled with all types of species of animals and plants that we may not have discovered yet. Then why is it so difficult to imagine that when we speak about the internet, it is not only about TOC or Wayang Party, but it is actually such a big geography that it is impossible to squeeze into ones head – the internet is a very big place! But that doesn’t mean there is nothing there. You know what very recently Bersih v.3 came and went – now the BN did not expect more than maybe 10,000 people to turn out in the streets. They were very cock sure. But nearly 250,000 people turned up. So they were really unprepared for that sort of turn out – so I am not surprised that some people tell me it was pretty violent. What do you expect when you end up with wrong intelligence – if they really wanted to know that piece of information – all they have to do is go to the right place in the internet to ask -there are plenty of people out there who just want to talk, talk and talk. But I am definitely not one of them. If you want to know more – I would have to turn on the meter and you can ask me any question you want. Even if I don’t know the answer – I am sure, I can source it out from the internet for you. “
Captured very recently in a thread in Ekunaba.