The Pavillion at the Lake with the School Teacher
December 9, 2012
As the setting sun slipped over the mountains and dusk descended over the countryside. I made my way to the Pavillion on the lake. Like a hunter, I knew that she would come. So I waited and when she finally appeared. I watched the school teacher for what I can only describe as an eternity. She seemed listless yet contemplative. Her mood mirroring moonlight against ebony waters, the strange cool of the breeze against my cheeks, the murmurs of cicadas, the faint rustling of leaves. We were alone. I wanted to clear up the misunderstanding. To suitably prepare the ground for my apprentice. All I reckoned I need was one clear shot to shatter all her fantasies about me - one clear shot.
When she noticed me in a darknened corner of the pavillion – she stiffened visibly. Then as if summoning some power deep within her her being of womanhood. She was suddenly was reincarnated into another sort of woman. A purposeful woman who was all together so unlike her demure and shy previous self when I had visited her the other day in school. When I saw this new woman bathed in the after glow of the faint moonlight – I looked on at this woman I had never seen before till then. Yes, when I saw her essence and I said to myself, “do you really believe that I am like those half men that you can toy around with and fashion into a lackey? How wrong you are! How dare you! And to even think that I was prepared to suffer a considerable damage just to protect your good name. To guarantee your well being. So now you want me to treat you like that other sort of women. You only think that I am a gentlemen. I have a very dark side. A side me that no one ever sees. A side that no one ever sees except me. Maybe it is time that you see it.”
I realized then, this was more complicated than I ever expected. Much more complicated, it seems.
I don’t want to recount what transpired between between me and the school teacher. There are certain things I much prefer to keep to myself. There are certain things I don’t ever want to share with anyone, not a soul. There are certain dark thoughts that I never want to put into words. There are ceetain encounters I never want to enter into this journal. And there are certain things that much I prefer to leave be. This it seems is one of them.
I will however say this, the opportunity for a clear shot never ever presented it’self – it seems I may have misread the school teacher completely. She is not as innocent or dreamy as she appears to be. I have misjudged the situation. Misjudge it terribly.