Resolution for 2013 – Expand or Die!

January 7, 2013

pizap_com10_474855979904532431357370091558No one seems to want to do business with me any longer. I am sure all this has something to do with the invisible hand of the daughter of the million hectare landowner – it’s her way to force me to give up the school teacher. Or to see me dead. Either way it’s perfectly understandable….believe me I do…understand that is. As in truth this is the last thing that the daughter of the one million hectare landowner really wants for herself or even me – but what compels her to do the things she does has more to do with a sense of effrontery that she could give so much of herself to a man who could be so callous with her feelings. Hell it seems, has no fury that can possibly compare with a woman’s scorn.

Fortunately, I am not entirely without resources – those monkeys have no idea yet. But I have reserves to hold out an entire year, possibly longer, if I can manage to arrange cross financing from Germany. There is a Bio Fuel start up in Netherlands that has been liasing with a company I own in Germany – they seem to be very interested in buying a license for my new oil palm processing centrifuge patent – my prototype is about 80% ready, with only bits of niggling problems that just needs further work – I am sure, I can have it humming and purring for a scheduled trial run just after CNY.

With the precipitous drop in palm oil prices – many plantations have already started forming into cartels to better weather this perfect storm that they’re swirling in. Good luck to those fools!

I may well be all alone. As no one wants to be associated with me. But at least I am not someone who is prepared to mortgage reality in exchange for a happy illusion that buys me a good night’s sleep. I rather take my chances in the wide open seas any day rather than find strenght and comfort in the company of fools. Besides if those sister fuckers think that clumping together confers them an advantage in safety in numbers – they’re dead wrong – all they are really doing is feeding the illusion that they are safe. In reality no one is safe. As I suspect these price drops will be a long drawn out affair that will possibly last three to five years.

Within this period of strife, I have to try to find a way to buy more land. If possible to triple and quadruple my land holdings and build up critical mass – I have a bold plan, one that if I can pull off will allow me to leverage on my new machine and seize control over the influential oil mill barons – everything hinges on this new machine.

I have put all my chips on one number. If it fucks up. I am finished. Wiped out. Kaput!

But let us just leave that to one side – enough of business.

What I really want to talk about is how I drove nearly two hours today just to visit the clearing where me and Max will probably face off – I don’t know why I suddenly felt the overpowering desire to see this place for myself. I stood there for hours smoking one cigarette after another mulling through the possibilities – yardage, windage, elevation, muzzle velocity – even going through every minute detail of the terrain in the way a hunter searches for the best possible kill zone to bring down his prey – to even ask myself, whether I should stand in the West or East – to even asses the light and make allowances for the lack of depth at dawn – scanned the terrain for a plumb line to keep as that is the only probable way to bring down a man from 25 yards with a smooth bore flintlock. Looking for hours like a hunter for any possible advantage. As soon as I had finished. I felt that all too familiar wave of assurance filling me over, into very cell of my body – filling me. But as soon as it all receded away. There was another wave. A dark wave. One which was altogether the opposite of the first wave – and when it curled, I saw it fury. It’s terror and with that wave. I swept inland into the mind of Max. I realized then, what I was really doing when I was standing there for hours just to get into his mind. That was when it hit me – Max would have done exactly what I did today. He’s a professional. Now I understand. I’ve been set up all along by the daughter of the one million hectare landowner. Max was simply the man who was put on the job to put a full stop on my life –

How stupid of me to allow it all to come to this….surely there must be another way…I must try to reason with Max.

Only reason this time has to be of the primal variety: I can kill you better than you can kill me. It’s here somewhere in this scenery where I have broken down into 6 vertical and 4 horizontal lines and divided it all into squares – each square is marked with a number. 1 means its no good. I can’t kill Max, not with that background. 5 OK. But not nearly good enough. As I still have to adjust for smooth bore quirks. I make a note in my head. I turn the dueling pistol in my mind’s eye. I tell myself, I need to take a closer look at them.

I need to find out the whole story of those pair of duelling pistols. Need the manifest. Need the armoury service history. Need the list of names, dates, times of planters who had once settled scores during their morning walks. 7 acceptable. But not quite.

I am looking for the 10. That was when I found it. The perfect 10!

Darkness 2013

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: