July 30, 2013
Road Works: Finalizing the road works in the rear end of the estate – experimenting with large sized stones. Built it all by myself with my bare hands.
Conversation: Gave the quarry proprietor and his fat wife a public dressing down for his sub standard quality of stones - he told me that I am not reasonable and he will not do any business with me again – I told him that’s fine as I plan to start my own quarry business and drive him out of town.
I also told him from now onwards his lorries are no longer allowed to trespass into my lands to deliver stones to the rest of the small holders. He would have to take the Northern main road / as my intention now is to make his life difficult by driving him out of business.
Both he and his wife looked concerned when my Landcruiser zoomed off - concerned enough to send me two free lorries of stones thereafter with an apology.
I told the guards to turn back the lorries as they are now not welcome on my lands any longer.
I mean business. I realize no one really respects me, they just fear me – that is fine. I can live with that.
- K’s fruit bunches were stolen again last night. If a strong signal is not sent – more thefts are likely to occur this season – the small holders will go hungry - went down to the crime scene with a few tribesmen trackers - they say two lorries – at least five men, judging from the tire tracks, these are quarry lorries - I went over to T and sat down with those low lifes in the kopitiam and told the leader that I wanted to all the proceeds of the sale – I told him to consider the felicity and well being of their wifes and children. I went on to recount, the world is round and what goes around will come around and if they could just take their theiving ways elsewhere, I would regard it as a personal favor.
The ring leader told me he would look into it – I picked up his daughter from school when I went to see him. She was bouncing on my lap as we talked. I believe he understands now that I mean business.
- went over to see WC this morning. As I have reliable intelligence that he is a paid informant who has been feeding my enemies news concerning my designs - I told him that although his relationship with me was now finished. And from today I will treat him as if he doesn’t exist – as he has betrayed my trust - I was not angry (that is a lie).
I went on to share with WC, he should think about the welfare of his grand son. I reminded him that I am kind man, not the type who nurses grudges (that’s also a lie) - and one day when I become the largest landowner around these parts then when he passes on – he can do so with a happy heart as he will always know that I can be counted to grease the wheel of life for his daughter and grand children.
I reminded WC, last year it was I who had saved his daughter from being kidnapped by the triads. It was because of my personal intervention that had prevented his only daughter from been sold into a prostitution ring – this I reminded WC by slamming the table forcefully, I am the sole reason why his daughter isn’t drugged up and forced to give blow job after blow job to pay off her husbands debts – I reminded him, I did all this at great personal cost to my reputation by standing as a guarantor for the loan that his good for nothing drug addict son-in-law had taken out and defaulted.
I reminded WC that I could have very easily have had my way with this young girl – and no one would ever fault me - as by the laws of the old country – she is technically my bond servant – I own her – instead I used my influence to make sure she was gainfully employed, protected even as from time to time, I would visit her and even drop by at school and speak to the head mistress to find out whether the child was been teased at school. Above all I reminded WC, I never so much as once touched his daughter.
I even reminded WC, I did all this so that no one would ever look down on him and his daughter who is now a single mother – and this I did to improve her prospects of getting married to a decent man who I even found for her.
I told him I did all this and much more despite so many vile rumors circulating that I had gone to such lenghts to slake my own tyrst.
I asked WC is this the way you repay the keeper of the great wheel of life for his uncommon kindness?
I tapped him on the head with my pipe repeatedly and asked him, who taught you how to disrespect me?
WC wept like a baby throughout the entire conversation. He kept insisting that he was innocent. Till I reminded him that I was trying very hard to be a reasonable man – that was when all names, dates and specifics came right out.
Before I left, I told WC life can be very beautiful, if only we all make an effort to remind overselves from time to time that village life is not so different from being part of one big happy family - we all have to play our part - on my way out, I broke two chopsticks and placed them on the altar of Kwan Kong with one lighted joss stick.
WC poured the ash from the joss stick urn on his head and wept as I walked out.
I am happy that at least he still remembers the customs of the old country.
From today onwards WC does not exist – as far as I am concerned he has gone to the other side.
There is no such thing as forgiveness in my heart for those who betray my trust – it doesn’t exist. I never forget or forgive those who betray me. Never!
I will need WC again. I want him this time to feed disinformation to my enemies.
I do not understand. Really, I do not. As all I ask in return for all my trouble is so very little. A bit of respect……that is all. Even that it seems is so difficult – I really do not understand.
Concerns: I need to manage the perception that I don’t come across as a ruthless and cold hearted psychopath – I need to smile more and control what regularly comes out of my mouth.
I wished, I believed in God. But I don’t. I have turned my back on him for 10 years. I am good to go for another decade. If I believed in God, perhaps I could take comfort in the following.
He said ‘My son, Darkness thank you. Thank you for going through this. I need you to go through this alone, so that you and your plantation can be the man I call it to be. I’m so sorry, but you need to go through this by yourself, to bring a change to your generation,”
Mumbo jumbo! I hope they put him in jail and throw away the key for ten or more years.
Dreams: last night I slept well for the very first time in weeks – I don’t dream any longer about Honduras – but I still dream about that lonely old man who sits on the rattan chair all by himself.