Log 04-08-13

August 4, 2013

To my mind, there r only two known types of stress. The first is the good, healthy and necessary variety that we all need- if we to grow from strength to strength. To stop procastinating. To lay off the fish ball. To lead healthier lives- that’s the edifying sort of stress that guarantees that we will always make a decent effort to live a purpose driven life.

Then, there is the destructive stress that can only disable and kill.

Within one calendar year. Death is certain. 100%. As since this stress is driven by only the forces of hate, anger and resentment and it is devoid of any love and affection – it is pure poison.

At the end of 365 days, a man or woman who goes through a sustained period of this sort of unhealthy stress will age roughly 10 to 15 years. You will be able to see the physical and mental deterioration without too much difficulty.

Shortly thereafter, the person who is stressed will die – usually it resembles a degenerative disease and irreversible. To the best of my knowledge there is no known cure. None whatsoever – to me it is not so different from a man putting a white linen cloth over his head, putting a revolver into his mouth and pulling the trigger. It is that reliable and consistent a killer.

As the destructive effects of bad stress is not so different from an astronaut who has enabled the self destruction count down sequence on his stricken space ship – somewhere in the body, mind and spirit of this stricken man – an irrevocable command has been issued to every living cell to terminate the process of life within 365 days.

The only thing one can do is to remain very still and calm as this disease eats away at the body and mind like some debilitating and degenerative disease.

To the best of my knowledge there is no known cure. No known antidote.

This is the reason why the sages say, life is cruel.

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“In this world that we live in. There will never be a shortage of people who can never live the hard life. In many respects I am very lucky that they are so many people out there who seem only to want to live the easy life – I really have to count my blessings. As without these fools, there is really no way for me to get rich. Since they can never live the hard life, they will always sell their lands to hard men like me – I for my part will always buy their lands.

It stands to reason: what they consider useless to me it is gold.

As I know only too well in ten or fifteen years, they will live to regret their decision to sell – but tell me who ever thinks about the hard man or his dreams?

Do you see anyone out there asking themselves – what is that fellow like that?

Who? Who considers his trails and tribulations? Do you really mean to tell me those long nights so many years ago when I first started and I faced off against men with parangs in the moonless night is something I can just forget? Do you mean to say when they poured petrol over my dogs and set them on fire, while I watched them burn is something that I can just forget?

Is that what you are telling me? – let me tell you, these people who are content to live the easy life, do not even dare to ask of me: how is your life in the field – to put it another way, they prefer not to know. They have made a conscious decision to regard that as information that is not relevant to the decision making process when it comes to ascribing an intrinsic value to a man. To put it politely, all these things are deemed to be obiter – you will never ever hear people who live the easy life – asking, what did you eat yesterday or last evening in the field – can you please take a photo of your bedding and show me – you will never ever hear them asking these questions – as that is the attitude of those who know nothing except sell, sell and sell to live the easy life. Paradoxically, they never ever get to live the dolce vita. It is always so near, yet so very far from them.

My point is that you have every right to despise me. You can even hate me. Coming to think of it, you can even try to prove to the world what a big man you are by putting me down - but you do not have a right to judge me.

I am sorry, you have to earn that right before you can judge me, by taking the trouble to see the world through my eyes.

But if you don’t even bother to do that – be very careful if you judge me. As I swear I will strike you down with a parang if I see you. Law or no law. It matters very little to me what happens thereafter – I realize this is not something you can understand. But trust me on this – and please don’t be fooled by that polished look of the well mannered gentlemen who struts around in a tailored bush jacket and speaks with a clipped accent, that’s just wayang. Like I said, you have absolutely no idea who you are dealing with. None whatsoever, at best you only have a notion or suggestion of the man.

When I think about this people fact they are so stupid that I just feel like picking them up and throwing them out of the window – as they have absolutely no fucking idea what I am even doing here. None whatsoever. And I for my part will never ever explain to them. Never.

And these people want me to respect them. I think you have to be kidding me.”

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