Why the most important decision in your life is who you choose to marry

January 26, 2010

The most important decision that will have the most profound impact on your life is not who you want to be or what you want to achieve before you hit 50 – those are side dishes.
The most important decision that you will ever make in your life is who will share the journey of life with you.
You see if you pick the wrong person then you’re just buying into a whole barrel of grief. You only have one life, so it has to be the decision of decisions.
Let me put it this way, if you pick some loser like me; then grief will be the color of your days. Some people stay in one place and they turn the wheel of life day in and day out; they may not be exciting, interesting or even that good looking, but they’re always there for you and that’s what really matters in the journey of life.
Others are like wanderers; they may stay of a while and you may even find a sliver of happiness; but a day will come when every wanderer will just stare out of the window and look enviously at those those birds that make a neat line to fly off in the September morn – like salmon struggling against the current to return to that place called home; whales beaching for no apparent reason or the capricious sea giving with one hand and taking with another – these things embody the spirit of the wanderer – you cannot rely on them for the long haul; as they will always do things that even they themselves don’t know why they do them.
If you invest in a wanderer – a day will come when they will just pick up and go; they don’t need any rhyme or reason; just as the sea can never help herself whenever she throws a tantrum from time to time; the moon affects her – so it’s the same with wanderers – they are the capricious type and you will always be at the mercy of their vagaries.
Wanderers are only good for the short haul; they make airports, bus terminals and places where sail boats berth interesting – they’re good for a cup of coffee; they’re even good when you stand beside them and watch the sun rise; but come a time; they will pick up and go.
But the guy who stays in one place and turns the wheel of life day in and day out; he is the one that any sensible woman should choose as a life partner;  for one he doesn’t feel that pull or call of the wild; to him life is just an endless repetition; where everyday unfolds precisely as the last, the only thing that changes is the mundane stuff, like toothpaste thinning out or its time to get a haircut– it’s in the endless litany of repeating where you will always find the stayer to better investment than the wanderer in the long run; as where the former may seem to embody courage, excitement and everything that is worth living for – as he climbs mountains, rides his bike down a cliff  and stares defiantly at the on coming storm in his tiny sail boat– let me tell you a secret; that’s not where real courage is to be found; as those antics (no matter how heart stopping they may all appear to be) all have a cut off point,

They all lack the horror of the litany of repetition – you can’t climb beyond the summit; ride further when the road runs out; that’s because wanderer can never bear out the long haul – that’s why the stayer will always be a better bet; he is a courageous man; who will see you through the long haul ; that’s why if you have to choose between a wanderer and the stayer, it’s a no brainer, go for the stayer; it’s a one second decision – as somewhere in the endless journey of life; filled with the litany of repeating where there is no prospect of even a place where it can all end the way you envision; you can always depend on the stayer to turn off the lights -you can grow old with such a man.

As for the wanderer; he’s just like one of those NTUC plastic bags that the wind catches and twirls as the thermals whips it high up – as it dances, pirrouttes and curls ever so charmingly; for a while, it’s poetry in motion as you stare out tranfixed from your office window – but never ever forget, it’s just garbage.

Darkness 2010

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