Jack Neo latest gift to all men – the right to pengsan.

March 11, 2010

How silly of me (smack my head) to have imagined fainting spells, along with smelling salts, horse drawn buggies and kerosene lamps have all been banished to the fictional realm of Victorian literature?

After all who could possibly fault me for believing that fainting spells is now passé – aren’t we after all living in the age of the emancipated woman where what a man can do; a woman can just as well better? Haven’t women aspired to some of the highest positions in the land? For god sake, they’ve even pierce the hymen of our ozonesphere and gone into space!

So who could possibly blame me for believing that women these days have surrendered their right to faint – that could explain why I along with so many men have given up on the simple pleasures of life such as the right to relieve myself like a puppy in the public square – in the age of the emancipated woman nothing could possibly derail her consciousness; the natural reaction of modern women to the sight of an offending pecker these days is the direct opposite of porcelain doll pengsan; instead she will whip out her camera phone, zoom in and machine gun away – that not only guarantees you a mandatory bladder management 101 course in some re-education camp, but the full glory of your pecker would probably be plastered all over Youtube as well – that in truth is how garang women really are these days – they’re built like hummers – and don’t even let that Si Wen exterior of Missy Dotty fool you for one minute – get on the wrong side of her and she’s likely to give you six of the best.

Well apparently not, judging from today’s  drama mama of Jack Neo & Co – fainting is well and truly back in vogue again – the best part of it is these days you ladies can even faint on the cheap i.e without having to wear boa constrictor corsets like the Victorians – that’s optional – all you need to do is make sure if you decide to let it all go like jelly make sure a few burly men are standing beside you and do give us all a cue like putting the back of your hand against your forehead and closing your eyes languidly – and just let it rip.

Thank you once again Jack Neo for complicating our already complicated life’s – it’s bad enough that you already doubled or nothing the stakes on two timing and cheating – but in your latest Jane Austen reenactment; you may have probably unleashed perpetual hell of all us men; who now probably have to deal with two metric ton aunties fainting suddenly in public while increasingly our visits to the chiropractor  –I knew this would all get terribly complicated; but I never ever once imagined that life could possibly imitate art to the extent of wordsmithing the adage the future doesn’t belong to the faint-hearted; it belongs to the brave to the future doesn’t belong to the brave; it belongs to the faint hearted.

Well done old boy!

P.S: Btw, nextime if you want to hold a press conference do it properly lah – go through all the numbers and don’t even skip a beat (do it the Toyota way, why do you think, I am buying TM big time??????) – bear out even the hot coals of the Q & A and if possible see it through in a responsible, honest and mature way – the cantonese call this YOUH TAUH; YOUH MEIH – got head, got tail – then and only then do you ask people for another chance – I promise you. They will give it.

But as it is – you’re putting the cart before the horse and no amount of crying, fainting and shouting is going to cut ice – even a primary one kid told me today, all drama mama only  –  so who the hell are you trying to kid here! Take my advice, this comes from the ground. It’s good to go.

Darkness 2010

“Toyota is finally behaving like a world class outfit – she’s coming to terms with the errors of her ways; many people think this is weakness – no, I don’t think so – it just means they are finally calling a spade a spade – not many people can do that – face the naked truth. Look around you there are many people who are just burying their heads in the sand and hoping that everyone forgets. 

That means in the long term; Toyota will work hard to resolve their problems in a bull shit free manner instead of trying to hide it with explanations that can only bring pain to thinking folk in America – the thing about the Americans; if you come clean; they will give you another chance – Gentlemen, I dont see her going any lower beyond this point. Why is there a need for me to fly to Germany and sit down with Metal Exchange for round after round of 14 hour meetings? This is a sure fire bet. It’s a no brainer. And don’t even be surprise one day long after this; when a meteorite slams into this planet and kills off everyman except one – you can bet your last dollar, in this desolate dust bowl called Absurdistan; the only man in the world will probably be sporting a Rolex Explorer II, Zippo lighter, SOG multi tool, Lee Enfield 303 and he will definitely be driving a Toyota.”

Darkness 2010 / Recent discussion with the Interspacing Metal Exchange & The Confederation – conversation captured by an auto-bot crawler in a secured thread on board the Free French deep space cruiser, les enfants du paradis – FILB – the Brotherhood Press 2010

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N.B MESSAGE BY MISSY DOTTY:  DO BOOKMARK THIS SITE, IF SOME OF YOU CLAIM, YOU ARE MISSING OUT, BOOKMARK IT, THAT WAY WHEN WE DECIDE TO TAKE OFF SOMEWHERE ELSE, AT LEAST YOU CAN FOLLOW US ON THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD TO CONT READING SOME OF OUR STUFF . BOOKMARK, IT AS WHEN THEY TAKE OFF, AS THEY DO, AT LEAST, YOU WILL HAVE A LINK, DO IT NOW!– ANOTHER GOOD REASON TO BOOKMARK THIS SITE IS THIS HAS HAPPENED  RECENTLY – http://singaporedaily.net/2010/01/11/daily-sg-11-jan-2010/#comment-7611 , THE BP HAS BARRED ALL FUTURE ESSAYS TO BE POSTED BY THE SINGAPORE DAILY. I DID ASK BABY DARKNESS ABOUT THIS AND THIS IS WHAT HE HAD TO SAY, ” There are two ways to read, one is you let someone spoon feed you like a baby. The second is you choose what and how you want to eat.  Remember, if your body is a temple. Your mind has to be the altar piece; it’s the linchpin that makes possible the grand idea of La Convivencia with you and your community, spirit, mind and perhaps 7 million other things- without this one thing, the power to choose, you are simply a cactus on a window sill! 

So understand this little rich girl, there is reading and there is reading, there is a world of difference, if you dont even bother to argue with the belief, you are what you eat. Then you would have absolutely no problem understanding – why, you are most definitely without a shadow of doubt what you read and dont read.

You can certainly categorize what I write, but you have no right to judge ……that was what Singaporedaily did – a broad line has to be drawn, otherwise, dont be surprise, if someone decides its card blanche to give you and me the mushroom treatment, “feed you shit and keep you in the dark.” So this has nothing to do with Anime 3 and her rubberband brigade. I value her readership and support, but this is a bigger sphere we are dealing with here – so this is where I will draw the line…it will hurt…like that other fake site, Temasek review that kept faking doss attacks; but how could they let the real wolf out without first planting the idea in peoples mind, “if it can happen to me, it will also happen to you,” Think about it – they cried wolf – we helped, but this time, I am not going to stick my neck out for no one…its everyman for himself….I dont even care, if the whole house catches fire…call it tough love, but if you aren’t a hard man, then you shouldn’t be in the ring and that’s the only way to deal with people who cry wolf, its all here, the explanation

http://singaporedaily.net/2010/01/12/daily-sg-12-jan-2010/#comment-7618 – dont worry dotty, the readers will eventually pick up the scent…they always do, you just wait and see, dont ever sweat the small stuff, life is too short – Darkness 2010……”Missy Dotty

 

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