One day while pretending to work

April 15, 2010

For some strange reason people all over the world send me stuff ( I see at least 3 0r 4 a week) – most of the time. I have absolutely no inkling why they consider me an authority on new inventions – but that’s how it goes.

I start the day early, usually at day break with coffee: that’s the period of when I begin to organize how I should ideally spend my day. I write it all down in a moleskine note pad with a good old fashion pencil (the best part is if it gets too stressful, I can even chew on it – 20 minutes in and I have the day all planned out start to finish)

A group of gamers sent me a new invention to evaluate – it’s supposed to be a high tech cheese cutter – I say to myself again and again (be polite)

In a while, I am there in some basement where crates of wine go to die and there I am looking at this so called  great invention.

It’s made out of wood; hard wood; the variety that requires industrial tools to fabricate – will it fly? Hey you decide. Like I said, this is how I usually spend my day. No prizes where it’s designed – Germany – where everything has to be so over designed that it’s supposed to survive at least 10 nuclear attacks.

 But you know what? There’s a humanitarian twist to this project – it’s supposed to be manufactured somewhere in South Africa by really poor kids – so I turn to Singaporedaddy – he tells me the Mercantile Guild will bankroll it (I roll my eyes mumbling to myself, as if they have a choice to say no) – to be really honest with you; why the hell would anyone want something so complicated to just slice cheese?

But the idea is good to go as I believe the real market is Japan; where I am sure this new invention will probably acquire a cult following with the Yakuza – this way cutting off fingers to prove loyalty will probably guarantee a steady market for this new invention – I can’t think of a better invention to do the job!

I approve it. The rep of the Interspacing Mercantile Guild looks at me hoping that I will say no; he stands like a Preatorian with his clipboard- I say bankroll it! He nods his head.

On my way back to the car, I find this: fresh young mangoes – it will be nice Missy Dotty, if you allow me to cook you my killer curry with these beauties; you have absolutely no idea what you’re missing’; but she’s too preoccupied with Mr Dentist. That’s a pity.

Darkness 2010 – The Brotherhood Press 2010.

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