Did Apple really lose a iphone prototype or was it just meant to….

April 21, 2010

(You may need to increase the font size of this essay to enhance your reading enjoyment – to do so hold down the Ctrl key and press +)

Hey come on?…did Apple really lose another prototype iphone again? Or was it just another submarine product prelaunch stunt?

To what is what these days; you may need to first understand what product development means these days: firstly, it’s got nothing to do with product and the even less to do with development (unless its fungus or bacteria under your bed) – these days the most exciting phrase that’s guaranteed to pique the interest of any techie is not “Eureka!” but rather “hmm….this is so weird!”

Welcome to the kooky world of the marketig manifesto to the techie – weird is beautiful, weird sells and above all the power of weird makes perfect commercial sense!

How did we even reach the end times of consumerism you ask? Well if you ask me everything that needs to be invented these days has already been invented – the only difference lies in the details – these days the mantra is not what the customer wants – want to know the truth, he doesn’t have a clue (for instance, I never asked my phone to be a camera and music machine! I just want to say hello) – fact is, if the average consumer had his way with technology. We will all still be stuck with two cans tied to a string along with homing pigeons – the rule of thumb in product development actually requires a bit of prescience, luck and a dash of serendipity – what does that actually mean?

Well in Simple Simon language it just means: whether a product will succeed these days is not so different from shooting an arrow into the air and, where it lands, just paint a bulls eye – there are many reasons why prototyping has become so complicated; one is because it is darn expensive and secondly a lot of it depends on pure luck – as trying to fathom what the market really desires is not so easy these days, especially in a dog eat dog market.

So whenever I hear that some dork has left his phone on a bar counter and it has suddenly managed to find its way into some super duper reviewers shed who has as much cult status as Obi Wan Kenobi – to me it ain’t funny; it’s closer to art and less of a science. I just say, “Sureeeeeeeeeeee!”

Some marketers have a talent for not only entertaining people with how they lose a super duper high security prototype, and some just don’t – but one thing is if you have no talent for being funny, you always use that to screw up the competition.

That’s why I believe this whole I have lost my iphone episode is just a ploy by the Apple equivalent of Mosssad to mislead the competition – there are many wy they need to do this; firstly, too many firms have been cloning Apple apps along with their finger touch control etc – it’s only a matter of time before the gap between Apple products and what other firms have to offer gets blurred out – so what they need to do is throw them off the scent and what better way to do this then to deliberately lose a phone that goes against the design philosophy of the Apple chutpazh?

Now that the competitors think this is the future i.e what Apple is going to roll out this June – they are going to copy it lock, stock and barrel, sim card slots, giant batteries etc – while the real next Apple iphone goes the opposite direction.

Oldest trick in the book…tell your enemy you’re North and slip off in the night to the South, but just to make sure, they’re convinced, leave behind a big fat map marked with a X somewhere up North – sorry the fish aren’t biting here. Besides we all know all Apple products come with batteries that sucks.

What you have there is a rubber duck – a decoy!

Darkness 2010

Gentlemen all warfare is based on deception; was Wayang Party (currently called Temasek Review) infiltrated? Yes. Did we give them the impression that we are allies (Yes). Why is that necessary? As I said all warfare is based on deception…..only remember this is not over, their masters know it and so do their minions… and another thing, in Brotherhood parlance there is no such thing as forgivenenss, that is well known to all throughout the entire universe…when the time comes, we will see this matter to its logical end and expose it for all its worth….by that time the only net, those cyber monkeys will be managing is a fishing net somewhere in the Singapore weather station based in the North Pole…we break their rice bowls…we pull out every technology, research and enterprise…we make the cost of war expensive not only on a financial level but in terms of intellectual capital cost as well…at some point it will cut to the bone and someone at the very top will ask, “what is the cost of all this?” When that report is handed over, they will know the error of their ways..as I said, all warfare is based on deception…if some of you have no stomach for this, please go. I understand completely.”

Darkness 2009 – conversation to the Council of the Wise on board the deep Space cruiser les Enfants du Paradise – this conversation is captured by an auto-bot crawler – The Brotherhood Press 2010


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