A Beautiful Mind & A Beutiful Picture

April 25, 2010

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Most of the time we don’t stop; we just go right on like the Duracell bunny oblivious to what’s happening around us – and with the advent of the i age in all it’s endless forms –be it,  iphone, ipod, ipad et al – technology these days doesn’t look so cool to me – if you really want to know, I am one of those who consider it closer to perdition than to salvation.

In fact technology these days is starting to resembled mass hearing impairment, mass hypnosis and a form what I can only describe as zombification. As everyone these days is either cocooned in his or her own world or riveted to their i-whatever;  they’re so bubble warped, insulated and set apart from what’s really happening around them – and this makes me wonder sometimes: why do people have to build walls around themselves? What’s the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking endlessly for stuff to satisfy their inexplicable craving, yet instead of searching it out; they fashion themselves as isolated islands in shark infested waters. That can’t be right.

There are times when that bubble gets pierced though; times when you just stop, watch and say to yourself; this is something that’s downright beautiful and miraculous – I don’t get many of those times – I guess it may have to do with vocation, I’ve spent a lot of my time measuring stuff, writing reports that only perhaps a handful of people read on this planet to make investment decisions – and usually I work alone; you could perhaps say that sort of existence is bound to make you slightly blinkered. To make things worse, I have a fetish for numbers – nothing gives me the keenest pleasure to tear through the numbers of a firm to see how well its doing; where it’s strenght and weaknesses etc – subconsciously, it’s even conceivable I may do the same with people as well; that is pigeon hole them i.e he is dumb, he is clever, he is just worth 5 minutes of my time, he is whatever… – but all these obsession with metrics isn’t really getting me any where; it doesn’t take me to where I want to go; neither does it beacon out the murk to render things clearer either – if anything my fascination with metrics; be it numbers that make up a firm, good grades, education etc is just one black hole  – we think so we are – that to me has to be form of leaching, chelating and scouring or whatever you wish to call it – seeing the world in black & white just means we are bound to miss out on a whole lot of other stuff – you’re either turned on or switched off, dysfunction or function, scholar or peasant, successful or a failure yada yada yada yada…life in short becomes binary; take the concept further an it even become generic instead of individualistic.

And keep that attitude up and I guarantee you – something precious within you will just curl up and die…

Maybe I am just growing old; perhaps I am just tired of life; but I know enough about the world to realize who can say what’s best? That’s why you need to grab whatever chance you have of experiencing the world for what it is and not what you want it to be – and if possible not worry about what other people think. My experience tells me that we get no more than a dozen such chances in a life time to really step out from our own skin – to see, experience, feel things that allows us to walk away and see the world slightly differently, and if we let them go, that just means we are dying somewhere in our soul.

That why it’s a diservice to see the world in just black & white term; we need to work hard to seek out the nuances in the grey zone – you could even say it needs to be nourished, in the way a good knife needs to grounded and oiled from time to time – and that place where everything comes together – and it just feels so right – could be something as mundane as the budding flowers during spring – or how the clouds seem to curl against the curellean skies, and even the sensation of the grass against bare feet – it doesn’t have to be shake up the world – as long as it moves your world, that’s enough.

But I am reminded these things cannot be measured; they can only be felt; but before one can even be aware of them; one first needs to work on soul – to nourish it maybe.

Like this wonderful kid I saw today; he paints beautiful paintings – perfectly orchestrated with a mix of colors that just allows me the privilege to peek into his wondrous mind – it’s a kooky world in all those swirl of colors; but it’s so beautiful that it enthralls me to the point of taking my breath away– his father muttered apologetically, he suffers from autism – I put a finger sternly to my lips and said, don’t ever use the word “suffer,” if you want my business; you are blessed – he smiled – and there I was taking it all in the colors,forms and shapes…. mesmerized by it all; a collage into a beautiful mind that simply makes me acutely aware of how narrow minded, blinkered and myopic I can be – I guess the lesson here is the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even felt, they can only be sensed with the soul.

Maybe I’ve got it all wrong; progress shouldn’t be measured in terms of GNP, GDP or for that matter a person’s net worth; maybe it should be measured by the number of smiles we bring to others in this whacked up world?

Thank you Tanzen, for showing me the way.

Darkness 2010

“If a bunch of autistic people want to impersonate a HAL 9000 unit online what is your problem?

Let me tell you this; if you shut them down – you are destroying their world – let me make it very simple so that all you motherfuckers can understand me; if you do that; you declare total war with me and I will take this personally. Am I threatening the Council? Yes, I think so!

My crew will fight this Council so hard, your blood will boil day and night.

None of you have ever spent time with the rubberband brigade; to you these people are all freaks.

You cannot understand why they call me Charlie Chaplin. Guess what I don’t wish to explain this curio. All I know is if some of you had your way all of them should be secreted in some attic far away from so called normal people; it’s the same reason why some incredibly stupid people in the internet call us trolls – it’s not that they dont understand; they simply dont want to understand – as understanding takes effort, patience and time – so they have resigned themselves to a state of ignorance.

That is why none of the rubberband brigade want to fellowship with any of you fuckers. That is why they have invented a language known as Cryptext that none of you can even decipher – and all of you feel uncomfortable –  but understand this; these are real people who I have learnt to respect, love and cherish all these years. And let me tell you motherfuckers another thing not a single one of them have ever back stabbed me like some of you. Or conspired behind my back, gossiped….or let me down etc – they are gentle, honest and trusting – and what do you sister fuckers want to do? You want to shut them down because you think this or that is not normal; and all they want to do is talk to Charlie Chaplin. You are all forgetting one thing, I have a you can go and fuck yourself switch somewhere in my head. All I need to do is turn it on. And that will be that, what follows will follow.

So  please don’t ever bring this subject up again; listen up! The rubberband brigade will always be part of extended family of the brotherhood – we are not an organization like Mensa or the Mickey Mouse Club – the brotherhood is only an indestructible idea- and it has survived 2,000 space years and the only reason why we have thrived and prospered where others have perished is simply because we have always been able to see beauty, value and worth where others simply cannot – take that away and all we will have is the empire of the bones…

Gentlemen has Charlie Chaplin made himself clear?”

Darkness 2004

Darkness during question time in the Great Hall in Primus Aldentes Prime – to a question concerning the rubberband brigade – The Book of Ages – Page 2,003- 2,004 – entitled: Charlie Chaplin – recorded by the Chronicler of the Brotherhood – The Brotherhood Press 2010

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