Solitude

Darkness: Eva, there’s freedom in being alone with one’s thoughts. I know this may sound like the hermit’s almanac, but all I am saying Eva is diminish that solitude and we may even begin to doubt ourselves and even our sanity – for starters we wouldn’t really know what trully belongs to us or not. Do I really think a dollop of cream goes well iced Americano? Do I really like my eggs fried sun side up slightly runny? Look here, I am not saying that’s its not possible to arrive at one’s own opinion when one is marinating in the thoughts of others. Only Eva, it’s conceivable when we know no other way to live but in the company of others 24/7 – then it’s natural for our minds to lean ever so slightly, imperceptibly, towards a position that belongs to others and not our own – Eva, I could have gone into any other business in the world – but one reason why I really wanted to be a planter was to find myself again. You see I live only once and it would be sad, very sad indeed, if I knew everything and everyone, yet knoweth not the man in the mirror. In these few months, I’ve discovered many things about myself Eva some good and others that may require some reworking – my point is I don’t think I would have discovered so much about myself, if I am trying to be someone else or worse still pretending to be someone who I am not meant to be – do you see my point Eva? Anyway, I’ve be going for a few days into the interior of the jungle – stay here with Orpuk and the dogs – they will keep you safe – be good Eva. When I return, I promise to drive you to town buy a nice dress and we will have steak with lashings of wine – how’s that? Now be a good girl and eat your dinner and make sure you finish those veggies.

The Suriman Tales – The Brotherhood Press 2011