Being kind to yourself

January 30, 2012

I’ve learnt many things in this one year as a newbie farmer – the first is kindness is a virtue that we should always be mindful of extending to others. The second lesson the land has taught me is, we should be kindest to ourselves first and foremost, and. The final lesson is we should never ever see ourselves or allow others to regard us as self indulgent, slothful or irresponsible whenever we direct kindness inwards into our being.

Even as I write this. I am scanning through the daily entry log in 2011. A theme seems to stand out like a sore thumb – I’ve not been kind to myself. Wonder no more why the first four months of my entries can at best be summarized in Proustian terms of “a litany of woes” along with, “a great diffusion of energy all amounting to very little except the loud bang of a blunderbuss.” That my dear perceptive reader is what happens, when one doesn’t heed the three lessons of the land.

Be kind to yourself. Take a nap. Make a personal call at work. Take an early lunch and be the last back to the office, let someone else pay the bill for once, buy that dress or killer app, play that game and let the night rip, fake a MC, tell Human Resources you think your boss doesn’t appreciate you (trust me, this is the secret to my success), stroll down to the water cooler and for once try to hang around and make small talk, smile at that girl in the short skirt in the MRT (just make sure you’re not in a backpack – we don’t want you coming across as a happy suicide bomber do we?) – eat out – go to for that second scoop of ice cream – just remember, be kind to yourself, that’s the skeleton that makes everything possible including the impossible.

Being stingy with yourself just means you’re going against the grain. May not realize it at first. As you’re steeped in the gyre, like an engine running full steam – that just means you’re going to blow yourself up and take others along with you. Being kind to yourself, being darn right selfish in prioritizing yourself as the FIRST beneficiary of kindness allows you to recharge, it permits you a window of opportunity for deep spirited reflection – to ask yourself: is this the best way to get the job done?

And it is only when we are kindest to ourselves that we can begin to be kindest to our loved one’s, family and friends.

Darkness 2012 

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