Why we have to kill the man called WORRY in our heads!

February 20, 2012

Albert Einstein once defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same results.

And this should prompt us all to ask – what is the one thing that we normally do over and over again? If I had to look deep into my inner being, that “thing” would be worrying – we all worry. And if we didn’t than we wouldn’t be humans. But what’s so unsettling about worrying is, it grows to become part of our character. To paraphrase, the more we worry. The more we are reinforcing the habit of worrying.

So we worry about 101 things that may or may not happen – we worry about our well being as we age. We worry about whether our kids will be able to lead better life’s than us. We worry about our jobs and worry even more about whether we can even sustain our monthly payments to the bank.

But what does this cycle of worrying all add up too? Usually, it ends up as a big fat nothing!

Don’t believe me – then reflect back on your own past experience. In fact studies conducted by MIT recently suggest, we (modern man) on average worry about stuff that usually only have a 20% chance of happening – in other words, out of the 10 things we usually use brain juice to worry about only 2 usually pan out – and even then, its usually not as bad as what we have imagined.

And this should lead us all to ask further: where did we actually learn to worry? To understand this, we must first be able to step out from our own skin and look at ourselves – when we do this, what we will see is, our tendency to worry stems mostly from our habitual mindset. Many of us have been programmed to think in a specific way or respond to stimuli -my point is the habit of worrying is an acquired taste, it doesn’t or shouldn’t come naturally to us – and many things that we consider benign, normal and even ordinary can have the effect of programming us all to think in a particular way – a kid who has been streamed to be technician may feel that he’s not good for anything beyond being a grease monkey etc. That is the type of shitty programming, I am referring too. The variety that disables, instead of empowering – and all this is drummed into us from a very young age. We may not be aware of it even when we all read this essay. But if we still our minds and replay back many of the images that make up our childhood and awakening as an adult, what we will discover is many of our FEARS encountered in the PAST have been responsible for shaping our responses to situations.

A girl for example who has failed in love in her PAST, may feel when everything is going well in a wholesome relationship that “this is not meant to last, something is going to come along and fuck it all up. I just know, that’s going to happen. The rookie who failed in a paper in university and had to re-sit it again may feel even years after as a salaried man insecured about his prospects of succeeding in the corporate world.

I remember one incident, where I interviewed a 47 year old engineer who kept apologizing for failing thermodynamics 23 years ago! His “lack” even showed in the way this man carried himself throughout the entire interview. Everyone was conscious of this and probably asking themselves, “why is this man so hung up over his college grades!” Everyone was conscious that he was conscious – everyone, except this poor man – it was interesting for me to watch how this one solitary failure in his life had been magnified till it was the only picture in his life, squeezing out all else along with narrowing the field of possibilities, it had disable every aspect of this man’s character, till it was impossible for him to project himself confidently. No guesses what happened to him – he didn’t get the job. The real tragedy was no one really cared about that one failure and if he could just put it behind him and not WORRY that someone would have picked on it and made it a big deal, he would have landed the job.

This just goes to show you, how destructive FEAR can be and how it can even be habitualized into the daily practise of WORRYING about things that will never ever happen – to deal with this problem, we need to be FIRST mindful of our habitual modes of thinking. KNOWING is 50% of the problem solved –the rest is reclaiming the rest of youself and that is something that only you can answer.

Darkness 2012

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“Gentlemen, we are at 15,000 ft above sea level. Outside this tent is death. Yes, he is there waiting for everyone of us! Inside here, we have a man with a broken leg and three men who are just using up all their energy trying to find out who did that and why etc. Now ordinarily this is not an issue. But at 16,000 feet, this is another cup of tea. Now I do not want to hear how this man broke his leg or even who is to be blamed or should be put against a wall and shot. When we get back to base camp, there will be plenty of time for a post mortem. Neither do I want to spent the rest of this evening trying to crack my head, how we are going to rappel Scholarboy down with only 50 meters of rope, when we actually need 200 meters to get that job done. Those things Gentlemen are in the distant PAST and the FUTURE. Those considerations Gentlemen might as well be a million miles away on the surface of the moon. We need to think about NOW now, the PRESENT, not what JDAM’s mom and pop had for dinner when they made love and conceived him or whether that may have anything to do with the size of his guli’s. Now we need to sleep Gentlemen. And sleeping is something that doesn’t come naturally at 16,000 ft. So Gentlemen, if you all don’t mind, can you all please shaddup and strip down as we do not have anymore propane and we all need to build a human pyramid and somehow find a way to sleep. Tomorrow will come and whatever it decides to throws at us I am certain we will be able to cross that bridge when we come to it. But for now, we must sleep.”

Pumori Expedition 2005 – The Brotherhood Press 2012.

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