Knowing how much you should give and hold back – the art of growing the self

April 23, 2012

In this world, there are things you can do all by yourself. And things you can only do with somebody else or maybe a group because the undertaking is so big.

But even if you find yourself in a sea of men, you shouldn’t be swept away by the crowd – there’s always the danger of losing yourself when you’re marinating with others in a group – as most of us, subconscious feel a strong affinity to belong and be a part of something greater than our selves. So it’s perfectly natural to compromise and be less of ourselves when we are with others. This simply underscores the difficulties of trying to keep your individuality in a modern age where everyone seems to be preoccupied with attaching labels to themselves. It’s easy to seek this pattern out in daily life, especially if we are mindful of it – that’s because somewhere down the line. Eventually the “I”  just gets rubbed out by the greater “we” –“us” and ‘them.” That’s to say at some point, the individual has to give way to the generic – sometimes when you find yourself marinating in the “we.” You’ve got to work darn hard to keep the “I” intact and whole no matter what the cost. Neither is it easy to keep the “I” whole either – as to nourish the “I.” You’ve to always ask yourself: how much am I prepared to give myself to this or that. Or how much should I hold back to keep my identity whole?

Dedicating yourself to the process of how much of youself you should give and hold back whenever you’re in a crowd is key if you are genuine about the whole idea of breaking away and discovering true personal freedom – as only when we know deep down WHY we should always give without running the risk of diluting our point of views to the world that we can be brave about the whole idea of preserving the “I”  – this whole idea of holding back may even make you look like a really difficult fellow whose selfish and anti-social – could well be, your insistence to keep the best part for yourself, may even cause you to lose that promotion or job, fuck you up with one segment of the community; may even mean everyone talks bad behind your back and no one wants to do business with you….but…hey, what did you expect, I told it ain’t easy to keep the “I” whole.

If you want easy street then go with the crowd. Man… you don’t even need to be a human being to do that. As even a NTUC plastic bag can go with the flow downstream… 

Darkness 2012

“When you find yourself so comfortable in a crowd of people. Then it is best to seek the discomfort zone somewhere deep in yourself. It is only when a man is able to detach himself from others  that he can see and process information without any sort of embellishment and exaggeration.”

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