The best joke in Town – Warren Fernandez, the man who reached a new low for ST

“As professional journalists, we do not see ourselves as cheerleaders for any political party. Our aim is simply to report the news dispassionately and objectively, so that our readers can decide for themselves.”

Source unknown as this hopeless fellow didn’t have the balls to sign off under his name.

Response: hahahahahahahahhohohohoohoh…my hairy ass……hahahahahhohohoohohoh…that really hits the spot…..hahahahahhhohohohohoh….burp!

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“I have changed my mind abt what once in 50 years Yacoob said. There should really be a code of conduct. I also agree with what Teo Ser Luck has to say about the necessity of having a minimum baseline for behavior. Only this COC should apply to newspapers and not the Internet. As the recent coverage of the by elections in Hougang in May 2012 has shown without a shadow of doubt, the press could certainly benefit from an instructional guideline on how to conduct themselves like a world class outfit instead of the North Korean Daily Post – as it is, they were really bias and unprofessional in their reportage. All this it should be emphasized occurred under Yacoob’s watch. He should be held to account by the tax paying public. The question is WHY was this circus show allowed to happen? Not HOW did it happen. That everyone in Singapore already knows. As the intended beneficiaries are very obvious. But WHY is still a great mystery. Who exactly signed off on the dotted line? Since the allegations are so serious. We should ALL ask WHO signed off this smear campaign? As the problem we have here is NOT so different from a dog that keeps jumping over the wall and bitting kids and seniors. So tell me, if you have this problem in your neighborhood will you reason with the dog or the owner of this dog? If you do not go directly to the source i.e confront the owner of this animal, then even if this psycho dog is taken away and put down. This problem my friends will NEVER go away. As once the owner gets another dog. The same thing is likely to happen again – this is precisely the situation we are all dealing with today. That is why newspapers in Singapore can still do the things they do and terrorize so many innocent people who are really just asking for a level playing field – gentlemen, this is not too much to ask. I do not think we should just walk away from this and pretend that this problem will go away or that we do not even have any equity in this matter. You can ONLY believe this is NOT a problem that can affect you IF the newspapers do not regularly hold itself out as the gold standard of journalism. But since they do, then there is obviously a lag between what is often represented and what really exist – as the by elections in Hougang has clearly shown things are not getting better with the press. They have really gone back to their pre 2011 position and possibly even regressed to their position in the early 80’s – otherwise how can you possibly explain how the press can still come up with such incredulous statements like this after their bias reportage of the by elections in Hougang:  “As professional journalists, we do not see ourselves as cheerleaders for any political party. Our aim is simply to report the news dispassionately and objectively, so that our readers can decide for themselves.”

I don’t think it is productive to put the blame on the dog any longer. We really have to knock on the door of the owner of this dog and get the person who is really responsible for this shit that they are trying to pass off as journalism. Most bloggers have FAILED to do this for 10 to at least 12 years. They have more or less grown accustomed to a newspaper that likes to play second fiddle to the PAP. This is really a problem to anyone who genuine interested in rights. As if this is the case, then its not so different from an owner who even encourages the crazy and dangerous acts of his dog – if this is the case, then that crazy dog can only bite anyone it wants without having to account to anyone. Now gentlemen this is gangsterism – I think the best way to resolve this matter is to sit down and reason with the owner of this dog. And to ask him directly, what are you really trying to prove? Send a third stage Guild navigator to the Four houses inform to capture the entire Hougang coverage and send it to D’ni for an impartial and objective assessment – tell him to inform the others that this is priority. Send this message across all channels!”

Recently broadcasted throughout all known channels.

Social Clubs and Jamban (Toilet) money – why they SHOULD never mix

Every gentlemen knows there are certain unwritten rules and conventions that are as timeless as the hills – it’s virtually a truism in gentle circles that certain subjects should NEVER be openly discussed in a black tie setting – the first is politics – the second is bankrolling political agendas and the third is always to love and serve all and not just one political hegemony. These people must be confusing themselves with the MILF weekend club.

Darkness 2012

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“Who you decide to rub shoulders with can often make or break you in life. But when the leadership over steps the remit of the clubs constitution in such a brazen manner, then it is very difficult for a man to square this off with his conscience – so now you see why, it is better if we all leave quietly and have nothing to do with them any longer. These people are not true to the spirit of brotherhood, they are too easily seduced by power and it’s conceivable they may have even confused this with an old boy’s club in Harrow – so this frightens not only me. But also Vollariane and Kadjal as well. As this incident has led many to question both their judgement and sensibilities. Let us not make a fuss over this matter – after all there are so many of us and we must be careful – let us infact do this quietly like a man leaving town in the dead of night – this is the sensible thing to do. This is the only way. This is the Gentlemen’s way.”

The No Nonsense Man

A person who leads an organically balanced life is not just a person in a happy state of mind. Please do not confuse him with a clown. If you want this then go and smoke Ganja. Rather, it is a person with a certain set of attitudes towards work, life and play that can produce happiness for those around him. The Way of the Farmer is a very simple philosophy, and it doesn’t matter whether you are a policeman, train driver, electrician, engineer, dog catcher or even a professional call girl. As anyone can really take and run with this power that mother nature has provisioned for all us. In a nut shell, The way of the Farmer is simply this. If you are not making someone else’s life better, then you are wasting your life. As your life can ONLY become better by making other people’s lives better. That if you must know is the goal.

Happiness is a function of knowing deep in your heart why you are put on this planet in this timeline – it has nothing to do with the mumbo jumbo of walking on water, turning water to wine or rising from the dead . But everything to do with following the Tao of the Nature. This is what the serious men of this world call a no nonsense fellow.

And this attitude towards life begins at the very foundation of a man’s life – how do you grow sweet fruits? You first begin by nourishing the soil – fertilizing the soil can only strengthen the root system and make the tree strong and stable – when this is done properly, the branches and leaves will be able stand proud before the sun and moon, they will not be brought down by thunderstorms and sweet fruits can only come naturally.

In the same way, if a man searches for happiness or satisfaction without first nourishing the things that forms the foundation of his life – then although he may find it in the arms of a one night stand, company of his friends or in a bottle of whisky, it can only be a temporary and fleeting moment. Similarly, if a man searches for wealth, without bothering with building a strong foundation, then he will probably end up in jail for armed robbery or breaking and entering. 

Part of KNOWINGNESS means a man must NOT only be in good terms with everyone in his household. Neither is it enough for him to be a leader in his community. HE MUST BE ABLE TO INFLUENCE OTHERS MEANINGFULLY AT A DEEP SPIRITED LEVEL. Both his family members and those who he works with must understand PRECISELY what he stands for – this is KNOWINGNESS that usually brings happiness to others. As the root of all suffering lies in the opposite of knowingness – ignorance, insecurity, low self esteem, false teachings, uncertainty and a general listlessness in one’s life. To sow the seeds of KNOWINGNESS, a man must be able to share his great vision with others – he must be sincere and honest in the pursuit of that noble goal that is never his, as he is really only the custodian of that vision. If a man has a hidden agenda, then it is very difficult for him to live an organically balanced life. Neither can he be part of this state of mind called KNOWINGNESS – as since he has to tell so many lies and has hatched so many plans to further his crooked designs and to create a false impression in the eyes of others, he is really like a used car salesman who is simply interested in selling the car and not bothered about what happens the day after – and since the cars he sells to others are never what he claims to be – those customers will always come back and hound him that they have been sold a raw deal – such a man KNOWS even less about himself and KNOWS nothing about others, the only thing, he KNOWS is how to walk into a wall – so this man can say what he likes, he can even hide behind caveat emptor – but he can never run away from the crushing reality, he is nothing more than a two timing good for nothing carpetbagger that no sane man can possibly trust to do big things. As this man has absolutely no capacity to make someone else’s life better. And if he cannot do this how can he possibly grow as a human being?

Darkness 2012

“In business, I have found that many people like to say, treat your workers like your children and they will do anything for you. The origin of this maxim comes from the fourth chapter of the Art of War by Sun Tzu – but what they usually forget is the preceding lines – when the author warns specifically, that discipline is necessary and if you spoil your men, then they will be no bloody good – to get high performance out of people. You need to demand discipline from others, but how can you do this, if you are indiscipline?

Discipline is very sobering force. It is like an amulet of power. People can generally make out with very difficulty whether you are a disciplined fellow or someone who is part of the cinchai club by just having a conversation with you. But let us be crystal clear – without discipline, the skeleton key that makes everything possible, the state of mind of KNOWINGNESS will never be yours – and if you don’t posses KNOWINGNESS, then it is impossible to lead effectively.

As the role of the leader is to know where to go. Only KNOWINGNESS can supply the missing jig-saw. He may not know how to get there. As that is really the work of those who choose to follow him. But he must at least know WHERE and WHY the team has to take that hill before sun down and he must be able to convey this vision clearly to every single man. And not only must he know the general trajectory of where he is heading – he must also be well acquianted with the logic and rationale of WHY he needs to do the things that requires doing. As leadership is not about taking the easy road. Sometime one has no choice but to take the high and difficult road. 

Without KNOWINGNESS, it is not possible to convey the rationale to the men in a honest and sincere manner – a good leader always takes the trouble to explain both the good and bad, sweet and bitter, hard and easy. He does not add salt or pepper or for that matter try to pull the wool over the eyes of those he speaks too – as people are very savvy these days, they are not going to follow a confidence trickster! As when a leader wants to go to a particular place, but he markets hell as Nirvana – then it is really only a matter of time before his followers will begin to doubt and question his designs. This will lead to skepticism. And skepticism is the direct opposite of KNOWINGNESS and can only open the Pandora’s box that unleashes leads cynicism and this can only sow the seeds to mistrust and suspicion. And without trust there can be no basis for a solid commitment by others. And since this confused leader can never supply a convincing answer WHY it is necessary to stick to the path that has been decided – he can only end up walking this road all by himself. As since his followers are all very far removed from a KNOWING state of mind, they can only leave this useless leader one by one as they begin to see that his vision is really only a self serving goal to possibly enrich himself and allow him to appropriate and monopolize power like a crazy man – when this happens, they will no longer have any confidence in this useless poor excuse of a leader. Neither will they see any future in him. And as one man, this man is really marooned in his own mind and very little can be done even though he may be a very intelligent and capable man – as he is suddenly alone – that is why if you want to be a good businessman – cultivate KNOWINGNESS first. Be disciplined in your words, deeds and thoughts – and from there you will be able to come across as honest and sincere. Always give a man a square and fair deal, respect the idea of dignity of labor unreservedly and never shortchange a man for a honest day’s work – but always remember, if you make it point to give others such good deal all the time, then from time to time. You must also learn to INSIST on getting a good deal back in return. Again this requires KNOWINGNESS. Otherwise how will you be able to demand high performance from others, if you are still a member of the Cinchai Club – ONLY those who are in a state of mind of KNOWINGNESS can raise their voice, flare their nostrils, narrow their eyes and bang the table to make sure the other side knows this is this and that is that – and as a leader, if you see that your workers and business associates are petty and small minded, rebuke them like an older brother. Again how would you even go about doing this, if you are not in a state of mind of KNOWINGNESS? As to do this in a knowing way, you have to be discreet by taking this man to one corner and sharing with him the facts of life – before you start hammering him into shape, tell him WHY you are disciplining him and in this way, he will never begrudge you – KNOWINGNESS is always needed in life – when you find yourself cornered by three men with hatchets in a dark alley where will you be without KNOWINGNESS – you wouldn’t even know who to hit first, where to strike, with how much force all these things will be a great mystery to you. But with KNOWINGNESS all these things are suddenly very clear – so terribly clear to only you – the knowing Man. KNOWINGNESS should not be confused with its poorer cousin UNDERSTANDING. If understanding is eau de cologne. Then KNOWINGNESS is parfum. If UNDERSTANDING is an adjective. Then KNOWINGNESS is a verb . You may not UNDERSTAND why your wife keeps asking you whether her ass sticks out too much in that dress. But with KNOWINGNESS, you know the correct answer to that question is “no honey, it’s just peachy.”

KNOWINGNESS is what we in Kendo call the void – that place that everyman dreads. Even the best of us turn away from the void – as there lies the sum of all our hopes and dreams – the source of all our fears and fascination. The core of manhood. As Gentlemen to cross that bridge we all know as the void; the man is naked. He cannot bluff his way across that sliver of space and time. He cannot even talk or reason his way out of it – it is as if, you either have it or you don’t – and if you don’t, that’s it you better sit down before you fall down – but if this man is fortunate enough to have KNOWINGNESS on his sleeves – then I think he will sail through. You see it really simple, KNOWINGNESS maketh all things possible, including the impossible it seems – the knowing man.”

Extracted from the Way of the Farmer – Proudly brought to you by the Brotherhood Press 2012

Cars & Woman

Cars and the jungle get along as well as cats and dogs in a tin box – usually the jungle wins. During the rainy season cars have it especially tough as moisture seems to get into every nook and cranny fouling out performance – in the dry season, the dust clogs up even the best filters, requiring us often to fabricate our own heavy duty filter for not only the air intake, but also for the fuel transmission lines. Recently two of our cars were swept away by flash floods and ended up impersonating submarines. This is what we had to do.

What you are looking at is the dashboard where the steering wheel used to be – all this had to be stripped down and dried out. Some of the electronics had to be rewired and even re-routed. Fortunately nothing was damaged. So we were able to put it all back without too much fuss.

In a few days we are up and running again. Thanks to the Guildsmen.

Darkness 2012

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“When you are forced to operate in very harsh conditions – it is not how good your kit is – but rather how dedicated you are in keeping it in tip top running condition. A woman is not so different. You can have a very fine woman, but if you do not know how to service her, she will go wonky and out of synch and probably malfunction and go crazy on you. If you have a woman who is not so fine, but you know how to service her – then she can only get better with the years. As you know how to service her and bring out the very best aspects of her character. Cars and women have alot in common brothers. As when you are deep in the jungle you can’t just call the AA when something goes wrong – if that happens, you probably have to radio for a USD$5,000 per hour heavy lift helicopter to fish you out of trouble – but sometimes, there is no support, there is just your team, your car and the long road ahead of you. That is also how it usually is in the long journey in life with a man and woman – there are times, when they can only rely on each other to see them through a challenge – it could be dealing with a financial crisis, facing the challenge of juggling work and parenthood or raising a troubled child. Under those conditions, a man must know his woman like his car – he must know when to push her hard and when to hold back and even when to stop and sayang (love) her. Above all he must know how to service his woman along with his car to keep both of them humming happily so that his mind is at peace and he can dedicate himself to living an organically balanced life. A finicky car just like a siaow charbor (mad woman) can often rob a man of peace of mind and harmony and distract him from his life mission – if this man is derellict in servicing the things that need regularly servicing, then the car or woman will probably explode like a neglected gear box one day and he may end up dead in the bottom of a ravine – worst still strangers will come along and start servicing the things that belong to you – I think, the analogy of a woman resembling a car. Or a car bearing similarities with a woman is a very apt microcosm of what it means to have a symbiotic relationship. As when you look at the mind of a woman, it is not so different from peering into the mess of wires and co-axial cables and you really don’t know where to get a handle on this chaos – but nonetheless, you have to be patient and work through the mess to find some sort of resolution – with this new attitude complete UNDERSTANDING of a thing can only come to you. To me there is nothing as satisfying as watching a man who knows exactly what he is doing – it may be planting, hunting, car maintenance or just tending his family – but if it is done well; then it is really a not so different from La Dolce Vita – life will mirror art Gnetlemen – like the tea ceremony; every action is purposeful, there is no fidgetting or hit or misses – it’s done right the first time, no corrections, no reworking needed. Every action is purposeful – the right tools are brought in, the right pressure is applied along with the right number of strokes to complete the job like a professional bank robber – everything is meticolously taken apart, stripped down and cleaned and put back the way the manufacturer or nothernature intended it and it is done without too much fuss – this is what I call a no nonsense attitude – Gentlemen please do not take this advisory as forward. But women should also be regularly serviced in the same manner. I realize this is a sensitive subject amongst married men, but let us be honest, one doesn’t really have a choice but to speak about it – so it’s best to be professional when it comes to servicing cars and women. If a man fails to service the things that need servicing, then there is always be disharmony with either his car or in his household and since he cannot trust either his car or wife; there is no way for man to be united with either machine or woman – and the worst part is since the man does not know how to service things – he can never aspire to bring out the best in either his car or his woman – he will always have to live with the capricious nature of a car or woman who will always hold him to ransom – when that happens then he has to choice but to abandon his car or wife and settle for walking. And walking is no good, as you cannot go very far – research and study this well. As it applies to most things in life. Especially the harmony of a household.”

Extracted from the Way of the Farmer – proudly brought to you by the Brotherhood Press 2012

Bullies are out and saints are in – the Hougang Experience

Increasingly people are demanding moral coherency from their leaders. These days it is not enough to just win like the good olde days of LKY, when he can just throw someone in jail or just sue the shit out of them to stroll through the finishing line. To really win these days, leaders need to be seen to be playing the game fair and square. They need come across to their target audience as bona fide on the level.

This seems to have come as a great surprise to the PAP strategic planning team that is still stuck in a time warp circa 1970’s. But for the vast majority of people. This new expectation for leaders to come into the game with clean hands is rapidly assuming a new standard of what is expected from a much more educated electorate.

This should not come as a great surprise to anyone, especially the PAP. As the financial meltdown has really revised the way most people these days regard the whole idea of power and politics. For starters, no sane person these days even considers leaders as infallible demi-gods any longer. Neither do they believe they are always acting in the interest of the common good. Or that they are so exceptional they even deserve to paid high salaries and creamy bonuses. Infact, since the collapse of the financial markets, the cultural authority that leaders used to command has steadily gone through a sort of rationalization – one where the general public is increasingly skeptical of officialdom and feels that it should always be checked and if possible interogated to make sure they are not up to no good. To put it another way, there is an imperceptible shift of power from state to people.

Some people may say the public is just being paranoid – I disagree. As the reason for this new compact between people and state is premised on good reasons. After all the public has been able to successfully ferret out glaring inconsistencies between what is claimed by officialdom and what they are actually experiencing at ground level. Leaders may insist inflation is under control. Or that run away prices of COE’s will have a marginal impact on the cost of living. But on the ground prices keep going up and up with no respite in sight. Hence this can only breed skepticism and askance along with the sinking feeling something is amiss in happy Singapore. Leaders may even showcase, that Singapore is one of the best places to live on this planet – but many are beginning to distinguish, analyse and connect the dots – they are even starting to ask: good for who precisely? It is certainly not good for native workers! As our lot hasn’t got better despite the stellar GDP results. Maybe it is only good for expats who can afford to crash their Ferrari on a weekend? And this mood of cynicism seems to be widespread and growing more prevalent especially amongst the thinking classes – a casestudy that best highlights this emerging sentiment of askance towards officialdom transpired when eight ball Tharman proclaimed imperially that it was possible for a Singaporean to own a HDB on only a salary of SGD$1,000 – he was questioned repeatedly on his assumptions online. But instead of defending his ground, eight ball decided to slink underground and take cover. And that by itself is a pithy summary of what we have come to expect from politicians these days – they don’t come across as honest. Infact, they are evasive and at times even require us to suspend disbelief just to understand their inverted logic – to sharpen the sense of cognitive dissonance, the recent spate of breakdowns in the MRT also points to certain faultlines that may exist in the PAP way of doing things – again this was repeatedly questioned. Again nothing substantial emerged, except a few doggy soundbites and somewhere a bath tub featured. And now even the general public is beginning to question whether the trains should even be privatized in the first place. After all what is the point of privatizing something when it doesn’t seem to produce any discernable benefits to taxpayers? As for the governments resolute policy of importing cheap labor; that has also been repeated questioned – and once again all officialdom seems to do is push out the same tag lines in an attempt to placate an increasingly frustrated public that is simply seeking answers to very simple questions – things may have even got so bad between state and citizenry, that no one these days even believes the PAP are serious about increasing baby birthrates in the native population. As many of their baby incentives currently on offer are really so backward and stingy that even Sengkang Sally from the Heartlands is hanging up her eggs.

My point in illustrating these salients is not to cause intellectual offence. Rather it is simply to illustrate how the things that used to unite us all is now giving way to the sheer force of the divisions that will continue to divide us all – and this simply underscores the importance of managing perception – as for leaders to succeed these days – it doesn’t pay for them to be seen in an unsavoury light. If they speak like Sitting Bull said, “with forked tongues,” delight in taking cheap shots or try to run a competitor through mud just to get political mileage. All they are really going to doing is attracting negative press and running the risk of being pelted to dust by the rotten tomato squad – as what they have really demonstrated is their pettiness and lack in their character to grasp the broader picture of statecraft.

A new calculus seems to have descended upon Singapore politics – one that has emerged from a class of voters who are increasingly demanding that leaders walk the talk, instead of just going through the motions where the seem to embody the form without the content.

It seems happy hour is truly finished for the PAP. They really need to brush up on their questionable ethics and morality if the imperative is to stay in power.

Darkness 2012

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“It’s conceivable the PAP’s radar is busted. They are flying blind and there is panic in the cockpit. But the only flight manual they have was still printed in the 1970’s and it is written by LKY. LKY likes to use the hammer. You can say that is the only tool that exist in this troubled cockpit. So the pilots are taking turns to hammer the shit out of those instruments that don’t make sense. They are probably using the same hammer to solve everything from plumbing leaks to migraine – wonder no more why the world just look like a field of nails to all of them.

But these days the thinking man is a very different person – I am not saying he is not interested in money any longer – sure he still likes to make money. Only there is a new moral calculus that seems to govern how decisions are regularly made. Folk these days know they are not the Dalai Lama, we all still step on ants and spray the shit out of roaches – but if you ask thinking folk these days to invest in cigarette firms or buy shares in firms that outsource their manufacturing operations to outfits that are immoral and treat their workers like disposal underwear – then you are going to get the thumbs down from this new generation of investors. They are likely to boycott your goods, products, services and mission like how they slapped and spat at BP, when they fucked up that well head just off the coast of Mexico. Like I said, people are still very interested in making money these days, only you must understand since a moral and ethical component now features – they simply can’t run the risk of being associated with bad company by default – that means if profit has to come at the back of 12 year old Abdul who is chained to a carpet loom somewhere in Pakistan – then most of them will rather settle for an Ikea rug rather than an exclusive Persian carpet. There is a new awareness that business must be clean or at least be seen to be cleaning up their act, otherwise, it isn’t business and deserves to be run out of town. Shut down or simply consigned to the rubbish heap of history

Politicians would do well to get up to speed on this new page of reality – as thinking folk these days have zero tolerance for people who are confused about the whole business of power and politics – the days of throwing your weight around is well and truly over – do it these days and plenty of people are going to push back. And some will even push so very hard, they may even get used to the idea of taking and holding ground. Beware. As the writing is already on the wall in main street these days. Two or three years ago, it was only in the internet. Now it seems the loop is closing – That is the way I see it, that is the way the Brotherhood sees it – we are already in clear and present threat territory. That gentlemen is what new normal really means  – and it is sad that the PAP conceived this notion without even realizing what it demands from them. Let me be direct here: to prosper today in politics or business. You need to embody not only the form but the content of good and honest statecraftmanship.

I am not kidding – if I was mini Lee, I would be having sleepless nights. Because Hougang may not just be Hougang – it could well be Stalingrad.”

Dealing with poverty in Singapore

Talking shop to the Nation of the Monkeys

Monkeys can play havoc on an oil palm plantation. In certain cases, they can even drive a farmer nuts – wild monkeys that live in the jungle are very different from the variety you would normally find during a weekend bike ride around Bukit Timah – in the jungle, monkeys are very well organized, they have a structure of workers, soldiers and look out monkeys and at the head is the kin pin – it’s hard to get an audience with the big monkey, as he is usually protected by a retinue of loyal body guards. A week or so ago, I decided to venture into a swampy area of my plantation to the Western ridge – this is wild country and with the dry season closing in; I have to especially careful of tigers. As this time of the year they are usually invisible. It’s possible the tiger is collaborating with the big monkey – as the big monkey is quite a crafty fellow that I have grown to respect. He seems to be able to read my dogs; they used to frigthen him. But now he strikes whenever they aren’t around and when they are on patrol, the monkeys just pretend to be picking fleas off each others back while the dogs look menacing at them – the dogs and monkeys seem to have definitely settled on a sort of detente – that may be good for them, but it’s no good to me. As they no longer fight like cats and dogs.

It may seem strange for a man to try to reason with a monkey – but I have done this many times before. One must first sneak up before the monkey tribe like a Ninja and then appear before the big monkey – at first he will look at you – then he will pretend to ignore you. But if you keep breaching their defenses time and again by appearing in the inner sanctum of the monkey nation – and start making your presence felt – it’s a form of psychological warfare that’s bound to disconcert the monkeys. Big monkey will begin to come down hard on his Republican guards – he will ask, why is the human coming and going as he pleases? This is my land – or maybe not! Could it be, it belongs to him? Then the hogs will begin to move out. As they sleep a lot during the day time and since the monkey lookouts aren’t doing a very good job, they give the thumbs down to the big monkey. When that happens, even the elephants wouldn’t respect the authority of the monkey nation. As since they can’t even provide a decent early warning radar, how can the elephants even do the things they do. The whole system begins to get stressed – that is exactly what you want to do, sow the seeds of doubt, corrode their confidence and throw a mind grenade to sharpen the mind game. Then eventually at some point, they will get the message that you might be the bigger monkey – when that happens a show down has to take place – but the trick here is not to allow things to get out of control that war suddenly breakouts. No one wins when that happen. A dumb farmer would shot them; do that and the whole command and control nerve center in the nation of the monkeys gets short circuited and when their communication system breaks down, its impossible to conduct your on going psychological warfare campaign – mind games require a conduit like a co-axial cable, it needs to be transmitted across the ranks – that is exactly what you want to keep the lines of communication open so that you can continue to hollow out their discipline, set them on panic mode by breaching their defenses when their guard is down, breaking through their lines time and again, so that they put so many look out and soldier monkeys to secure the parameter that they don’t even get a chance to relax, shit or even fuck other wonderful under 18 monkeys, to keep them on that nervous edge till it wears down their brains, sinews and resolve – they don’t know exactly what you are doing, when you keep appearing before them by passing their lookouts and guards, but they know enough abt man to realize that he is destructive  – and that hopefully is really enough for them to do some simple trade off analysis and conclude this isn’t worth it, it’s best we take our monkey business elsewhere.

I guess this is the same with life – sometimes we come across irritating people. They seem to take delight in take a bite out of our ass every time we see them – and it’s best to simply confront them straight on – to look at them with eyes that burn right into their flesh, bone and tissue – to stand the ground and never leave – and eventually you realize that they have gone off elsewhere.

But if all you do is run away from the demons of your life all the time and never stand up and confront them – then like the nation of the monkeys, they will overwhelm you.

Darkness 2012

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“Palms are planted in neat rows of 9 meters – each palm radiates out from the next in series of hexagons. During the course of a day; the sun will cast 7 distinct type of shadows in this hexagon – if you know how the light behaves at different times and what type of shadows it cast – then it is easy to remain invisible and unseen.

It is the same when we deal with difficult people – many people like to just go up to difficult people and tell them what they think of them. Or maybe just avoid eye contact. I really don’t believe either approach is constructive. I prefer to get close to the person; I will study him and even take notes about his daily habits and the company he keeps – soon I will have a mind map of his social network – then once I have a rough profile. I will try to insert myself somewhere in his daily routine – I will be watching out for opportunities all the time – never revealing too much of myself – then when the time is right, I will strike. I will try to reason with this fellow. But before you can reason – you must know him so well that you already have a strategy of how to approach this conversation – let me share with you the chronology of this strategy. At first it is shock followed by understanding and finally resignation – usually when I take this measured approach things work out very well.

When I was a salaried man. I once worked under a very insecure boss, who always suffered from this perpetual fear that I would raid his job – this man used to give me alot of grief. So one day, I sneaked into his office and closed the door and grabbed him by the collar and told him that, “if he made my life difficult here, I will have to take over his job and if that happens his pretty wife will probably leave him – alternatively, he can leave me alone as I have other plans and I’ll be out of his face in a year.” The man was quite taken aback by this shocking style of how I conveyed to him the facts of life – at first, he threatened to make a scene; but I told him, if he did that, no one would believe him; as I had been very careful to convince everyone that I am not a violent man. I reminded him that my offer still stands, if he decides to make a big deal out of this – I will go for outright war i.e take his job. That hit him like a diamond bullet. As he seemed to actually agonize over the terms of my offer. You see his mind was telling to take it, because it makes so much sense. But his heart or ego, just tore him apart – and I knew this, remember what I said about how one palm is separated from another by 9 meters and how they all radiate outwards to form a series of hexagons – so I made it easier for him. This is the second phase of the strategy, where I appealed to his ego – I told him how I knew he was a double honors and even praised his choice of cars that the rest of the office couldn’t quite figure out. But I knew what it was that fascinated him abt that car. Soon we were talking about cars and he even took out a quart of whisky and insisted that I join him – as it had now become a very interesting conversation. But in my mind;s eye, I was very much like a hunter – you see I had engineered him to feel comfortable with me – and at moments of levity and what I can only describe as top drawer brotherhood class exchanges the matter of considering my offer for peace receded away. Eventually he relented with a wave of the hand with the words, “it’s the only sensible thing to do.” Thereafter he polished off his 5th double malt – he even shared with me the marital problems he was having. I even volunteered to reason with his wife – and even settled it for him. All she needed was a quick turn of the wrench and that more or less settled it – to cut a long story short, we reached a sort of gentlemen’s agreement and even became the best of friends – I think in life, one needs to do this from time to time – invade other people’s personal space in the way tanks roll over the countryside. Not all the time. Or your hair will go white. However we all don’t have any doubts in business, this is sometimes necessary. As a boss if you don’t know how to do this, then you have no business being in that position. As a leader this is something that you defintely need. But before you can do all these things – you must learn the art of how to get into the kill zone without being detected.”

 

The Lessons to be learnt from Hougang

Never be arrogant. When one is arrogant, one can only be like a delusional man sitting somewhere in some high mountain yanking at levers of power that are connected to really nothing – all one can do is watch the best conceived plans turn to mud. When one is arrogant. Everything is possible including embellishing the truth, exaggerating it and even using nefarious means such as recruiting our beloved rag to do the dirty work of trying to fix the opposition – but all this will backfire – as these days, we don’t live in a society where we even need to get news from newspapers – people these days have a choice and they have plenty of avenues to flesh out their opinions concerning their objects of interest. When it comes to Hougang – they have already decided, it seems long before the by elections. I wonder why?

And that really says alot about the future of PAP in Singaporean politics. Darkness 2012

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“Tactics and strategy is very hard thing to master – if it was me, I would have held a snap by elections to show my good faith. I wouldn’t even try for a decisive win – either way, it would be lose/lose. Lose big or small that is all – so my goal would be to reclaim some voters, at least 20%. So I will probably try to lessen the pain of the defeat – by trying to sell the idea that I am a honest and fair and square outfit. I wouldn’t even have even waited. I would deploy blitzkrieg. As I don’t want others to believe I am squeezing their balls by using time as a weapon. But these arrogant people decided to wait and wait and wait and when people asked them, when are you going to hold a by elections, they think, they are the Aga Khan, so they never even bothered to supply an intelligent answer; they even behaved in such a manner suggeting perhaps, they have every RIGHT to keep people waiting – is it the birth right for politicians to keep the electorate waiting for what is basically their elemental right? The right to choose someone to represent them in their ward? And when asked when are you going to hold a by elections again? They even behaved as if they have a right to gauge how important or unimportant it is to relative scheme of things – these arrogant people just brushed the subject aside like some Prima Donna – and when they finally decided, the by elections is going to be staged – again they resorted to their usual character assasination techniques; this time by using the Strait Times as their big stick to try to whip out controversy and all kinds of delightful distractions – they tried many times to make a mountain out of a molehill – but none of this managed to alter the outcome. I think you can blame many people for this setback, but the biggest blame has to go directly to Mini Lee, as strategically and tactically, I think, he fucked it right and proper from the word go, fucked it all up, right up to the hilt. This is what happens when you are arrogant – you eat humble pie lah – you will simply have to learn the meaning of what it means to repent. But always bear in mind, when the serious men of this world see all this – they can only draw the logical conclusion, you can’t strategize or even execute a game plan for shit! You had all the resources and reserves of power at your disposal and you used it all and yet your return on energy is only 3 percentile points? You’re kidding me right! This is what the serious men will be thinking now. So Hougang is not just Hougang, it could well be Stalingrad – the one that reverses the tide. Do you see my point. Please do not get angry with me – I am not trying to be malicious or naughty – really I am not. Besides you should all try your best to rehabilitate me – so really, I am just giving them some feedback. Please try to take it constructively, even if you cannot do so, you should at least try to pretend to do so – as we are after all living in the new normal – so they really they have no choice, but to live with the facts of life.”

Who are you really?

Many would have us all believe. A man’s character needs to be created like a lego building, by adding the right bricks early on in life – want your kid to be an engineer give him alot of stimulation in numbers – if you want him to be a big fund manager get your baby a plastic Ferrari with crappy brakes. But there is a big spanner sticking out from this happy picture. What if a man’s character is not something that is LEARNT, what if it’s always there residing within the deepest recesses of his being – like a solitaire diamond snuggling somewhere in a crevice deep in the belly of some mine – that incidentally is what I believe in.

The notion our true character is already in each and everyone of us – like a tree, you don’t need to give it instructions of how many inches to grow every year or even tutor it on why its roots should burrow towards water instead of the desert – it just knows what to do and when to do it and even when to stop doing it.

The greatest gift that nature has bestowed upon man is not life, but the opportunity to discover our REAL character – who is after all the real you. And many times through out the course of our life, we may have said, done or thought things has held us back instead of pushing us forward because we really don’t know WHO we really are – and it is easy to get confused in our age of endless hype and spin – an age that seems to be really only fixated on telling you and me; how we should dress, what kinda car we should drive right down to how we should raise our kids – all these distractions in life, do very little except to cover up the real YOU! As this thing called character is already in all of us – many of us have simply not stepped outside our mental boundaries and had a meaningful conversation with ourselves – if we did, then I think that would be a very good start to getting to know who we truly are.

Darkness 2012

“To be yourself, you have to really get to know yourself – that is really the only way to reinvent yourself if you are not going to be ground to dust in this modern age. Because if you don’t even know WHO you are; then the chances are you are going to jump on the first bandwagon that comes along – if someone you saw on TV ask you to eat more vegetables, you eat more chai sim and drink more iced lettuce juice; if someone you heard in radio, said it is a good idea to turn your kids into a tool so that they can be employed one day and pay taxes – then you are really like someone with no roots. It is fine not to have cultural roots or to have only very fine roots – but when it comes to the SELF, if you do not have any roots, then you will always be a wanderer – ever searching for that thing that you know belongs to you; but through the years of just waking up every morning, sending the kids to school, putting in another day at work – this thing has somehow disappeared – and as time goes by, all we really see in the mirror is the man who could have been someone, but just couldn’t make it – so we beat ourselves up; we overcompensate by being extra nice to our kids and even transposing our hopes and fears on them – as we don’t want them to end up like us. As a result we end up coloring their lives with the SAME perpetual fear of failure that regularly haunts us and robs us everything that is meaningful and good about life – and why do we go through this misery? Why do we even become the architects of our own unhappiness and strife?

Could it have something to do with the idea – we don’t know WHO we are; or rather WHO we are supposed to be? Or even what we can and cannot do – and we see this same state of uncertainty in the brief history of the Singapore social political blogosphere – when the internet first appeared; everyone was uncertain how to use this tool that has dropped from digital heaven – it was like in that movie by Stanley Kubrick Space Odyssey 2001. In that scene when those monkeys woke up and found a huge black monolith – they went nuts at first; but if you notice every time they went nearer to that which was the source of their fear and fascination; they went closer to the object, till they eventually touched it and. Within this same scene, we notice that some of the apes even began caressing the lines of this strange monolith that had suddenly appeared before them. So this was really Kubrick’s diorama of man’s awakening – but this scene of apes jumping up and down only to settle down and perhaps even THINK is not so different from how our own blogosphere evolved to what it is today.

But the internet was not the magical wand that transformed many netizens into a single identifiable voice of consciousness – it was merely the platform – what is significant here is to remember many of the voices we hear today in the internet has always been there deep within all of us – the idea that all if not well in paradise – the niggling notion that you’ve been screwed – and so these voices grow louder and louder. But my point is like the REAL you that you have to look for; it has always been there within YOU. 

You really just need to find a way to coax it out – it could be through writing, music or even being able to do really nifty things like blow bubbles by curling your tongue.”

Why Chinese girls who dye their hair blond look cheap – a study of beauty

Please do not sexualize this. I didn’t say just because an oriental girl dyed her hair peroxide blond that she is necessarily cheap. I said it looks cheap. That is my opinion, it is subjective, never imputed ontu the beliefs of other men either – that is my opinion. And let me tell you why young lady – I know what is true beauty. I know it certainly doesn’t come out from a bottle or through a needle of an injection or the nip and tuck of a plastic surgeon. True beauty exist ONLY in the mind eye. What we have come to regard today as “true” beauty is something that came out from an advertisement firm that has been hired by corporations that ONLY know how to make this. But since they haven’t figured out how to market what they have manufactured – they hire ad people, spin doctors and the whole motley crew to figure out how to sell to all of us. And along with moisturizing cream, eau de cologne, underwear briefs, these people have also whirled THEIR idea of what a successful person should look like, what should he wear, what kinda car should he drive, right to even what type of wife a successful man should have – and the counterrevolution to this marketing manifesto is one sentence: THAT IS NOT WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT. Life is not about trying to be Peter Pan, we all can’t look as good as we used too, at 18. We can try under the surgeons knife- but that’s really a dead end. What we should perhaps understand about the whole idea of beauty is it has nothing to do with what people are trying to sell us things 24/7 regularly force feed us with – instead, it has everything to do with how beauty is an evolving thing, like a tree. When it is young, it is frisky, in midlife serious, as an old tree stately and in it’s final hours – it is at peace. It is this progression that is beautiful – but the world has embellished this true version of beauty and supplanted it for tight bodies, high ridged noses, fuller lips et al. The whole works, from your make up to scents and even coloring the way you dress.

It is only when we understand that true beauty resides in the progression of life at every stage from cradle to grave can we really begin to appreciate the nuances of it’s multifacetted beauty – The way a woman at 35,, may even look more attractive than a nubile teen – as only at 35, will her hips acquire a fullness, the curl of her lips begin to settle at the right tension, not to loose or tight, just the way it was meant to be. But the most beautiful features will be her eyes, as at only 35 will she lose that sense of innocence that one so often sees in the uninitiated – instead she sees the world with benefit of experience with a sort of knowingness – so you see at age 35, this woman is a ravishing beauty in every sense of the word to the thinking man. She can engage him at many levels of understanding that a younger woman cannot – as she lacks life experience.

What makes all this possible is UNDERSTANDING of how our lives are not frozen along some timeline – where we will always be sweet 21. Rather true beauty is in appreciating the changes that occur within that time line called life. Like the beauty each season offers to the senses – It is only when we are conscious of NOW and not obsessing how tight our bums used to be at circa 18, that we can begin to appreciate the nuances in progression and how every stage of our life offers another layer of beauty waiting to be explored by the perceptive traveller in life – this is what I can ONLY describe as the antitheses of what has been regularly feed into our brains by advertisements and marketing gurus. 

For a man his prime comes at 50. This is really the high point of his life – that at least is based on my experience gleaned from older friends I keep. But back to the point – at 50, a man would be who he was meant to be or never. He is cut out there and then, if he is a skirt chaser at 50, he will probably be a skirt chaser till the day either he or his dick expires. 50 is also the age when the man is the most sexy; there is a gravitas about him; a fatherly knowingness that seems to tell you. This is a lau chaiu. He is the guy that knows how to pick his battles like chess pieces – if it favors him he will attack; if not he can wait it out – he is in no rush. At 50 he knows how to play the game of life. As when a man reaches 50, the sleeper has awakened. He is suddenly aware of the fragility of life. He learns to use his energy sparingly, never dissipating it on trivial pursuits, except those that keep him razor sharp. At 50 he has suffered just enough set backs to learn how to cut all the right moves – in his trade, he is professional that understands the art of dealing with people – he tows the line even when it scissors his conscience. As at 50, he knows it doesn’t pay to go against the grain. It is only at 50 that a man acquires a mix of hardness and softness that will be his character till the day he dies – at 50 he is really just starting to see the world with a practiced eye of a cognoscenti. At 50 a man would know the difference between sauvignon and pinot noire; he would realized if offered either smoked Salmon in the cafe Royale, London or the a Poisson de la creme supreme in Maxim’s in the 5th Arrondisment in Paris – which to choose. At 50, he would have realized, those he cannot defeat, he should at least embrace and live and let live. At 50 he would know at least a dozen ways to sweep a woman off her feet; he may fly her to his favorite Jazz bar in Munich for a soiree; take her across the paraffin blue of the Med with his plastic sail boat and whip her a creme boiche cognac for breakfast in his buddies cafe in Cannes – look out at the setting sun and exotic cars that trace across the shoreline from the balcony of the Hotel du Paradis in Monaco. And the best part is only at 50 would this man learn to do a thing cleanly. He never steps into a place that he can’t walk out of. At 50 all these goodies will come to you. From there on, to each stage of the progression in life – you will see and experience another level of beauty (I am still researching this area will write more abt it when I have time to met up with my very old friends.) 

That my friend is the beauty of life.

Darkness 2012

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“When I was young my teachers called me a bad boy. So as time went by, they all called me a bad boy. This was how it started. There was a majestic flame of the forest just outside my school – she was my friend. I called her aunty. As when I was young, I was told to address anyone taller by that name. So I called her aunty tree. As I didn’t learn the name of trees yet. I loved the tree. She was my friend. One day, they widened the road, another day a water pipe was laid – and I began to notice – the slow progression of auntie Trees death – it started with the tips getting yellowish, the pale ochre. I knew something was wrong with Auntie Tree, so I tried to save her. As a boy I didn’t know about fertilizers, didn’t even know such things existed – so I asked a neighbor who knew an uncle who came from a farming family – he said piss on it. So that was what I did everyday at school – I would cross the road and piss on the tree. One day there was this evil teacher who saw me giving the kiss of life to auntie Tree – she is the ramrod Christian type lah; the ones that you know would end up as CEO of a convent if she was born in the dark ages and still masturbated at supersonic speed and still be counted to say her quota of whatever lah. She saw my natural act of relieving myself as the sign of the devil – so picked trouble with me. She hauled up my parents; they said I needed to see a doctor; I had to be put away – but the final straw was when they got the PE teacher to cane me. I remember the before, during and after – the first whip is usually the most painful, by the second and third it mellowed out; beyond 6 or 7, it could only get better then a white numbing light – one where nothing existed. But I kept pissing on the auntie Tree. As for the canings, they got harder – so did I. I didn’t get it easy either with my schoolmates; their mothers heard about this and they too called me a bad boy – so many of the other boys avoided me – but I kept pissing on the auntie tree – and somewhere in this mixture of pain, isolation and the need to just drink as much water and pissing as hard as I could at Auntie tree – I realized, I’ve got to be my own man. You see it is very simple: I had no choice. A boy who does not have anything resembling a choice, learns resignation at a very young age – and so I excepted this as life. 

I built a hard shell around myself – like the one I once saw in comic, it was a force field. I remember it was orange and just translucent enough to believe no one could ever hurt me when I am in that amber light – I called this place in my tiny body my sanctuary. No words will have power over my force field; no number of whippings from the PE teacher either; no amount of evil stares from nasty neighbors. I was alone, yet curiously at peace as best a child could be – pissing everyday at auntie tree like a monk who only wakes up to meditate. And getting caned and teased and always alone.

One day I stopped pissing on auntie tree – I figured, she was definitely out of harm’s way – this was at least how my childish mind figured; as she was starting to flower again after two years of not having done so – everyone was surprised when I no longer pissed on the tree opposite the school, they said that it was due to strict disciplining – he will see the light and saw it he did! I even had a stage manager, that bitch that hailed Mary ten million times a day. She believed that divine intervention had been the sole cause of my keeping my pecker where God divined it to be. 

I knew otherwise – you see people believe in what they have too to get by in life. All I really wanted to do was to save my friend auntie tree and now that the job was done I could put back my pecker. When I think back, there is a beauty in the innocence of youth just as there is probably undiscovered beauty in your own life – when kids pop up or when you turn the corner around another decade. 

Many years later when I had grown up – I saw a boy like myself – he was looking at birds this time; he looked at them so intensely that his hands and feet even moved like a cheerleader and the grandma of this parents would always sit the boy down. I knew he could see something that we all couldn’t in birds – so I stretched out like a highly trained Mossad agent, I deliberately infiltrated the family, found out the husband gymed nearby at Safra; we even doubled pressed together; they invited me for dinner I was in their home – and although the boy could not speak; I could understand what he saw in the indolent flight of birds – his eyes were the same as the ones I had in the moment of my youth when I first realize I could talk to trees – this boy and me share a kindred spirit hood; where they (even his father and mother) can never understand the beauty of his world) – to them, its a hassle, a perpetual challenge to raise such a kid – maybe if they didn’t watch so much TV, or didn’t feel the need to keep up with Joneses and simply stilled their minds, they too can begin to make out sweet tweets of birds in flight; they too might even be raptured by the simple beauty of a birds flight, their grace, ease and mastery – their beauty. Your beauty. 

You see my friends, the world likes to say beauty is really in the eyes of the beholder. Not true. As to be at one with beauty, one is part of it, as it is part of one’s inner being – one can only behold the beautiful moments, never encase it – the look of a newborn baby – the pride of bringing back the bacon – all these things are beautiful. Even the simple act of giving up smoking so that there is more money for the monthly groceries and doing it with a quiet seriousness where you don’t throw your temper at your better half and kids is beautiful. Or going out to far off lands to create a better tomorrow for your loved one’s and facing up to the path you have chosen in life – these things are also incredibly beautiful. May not realize it when you’re suffering and struggling. But when it all settles down and you look out across the vast expanse of your lands in Africa, Malaysia, Honduras or anywhere else – and remember all these things that once cross your path at this age or other; it will bring a smile to you.”

Rated Uncategorized – send directly from the message capsule of Darkness 2012 on board the Free French Cruiser – Les Enfants du Paradis – relayed by the mineral cruiser KDD  

The Never Ending Stupidity of Xiaxue

Let’s just dive into the deep end, as I only have 5 minutes. The Tao of Xiaxue is really something you need like a hole in your head – that is really all I can say about that ridicolous woman who is now trying to fashion herself as a party political promoter (only she seems to have taken the cue from the beer aunties). Not to mention her latest character assasination attempts on so many innocent netizens (many have even written and complained to me). I will be perfectly frank and honest with all of you. Don’t know much about her and from the looks of it don’t want to know either, like Syphillis. I dowan lah. I have only visited her blog twice in my entire life, the last was many moons ago circa 2003 – if you are trying to grasp the higher meaning of nothingness cum vapidness, then please go and visit her blog – by the time you leave, you will either be a new creation, as your brain will be probably have shrunk to the size of a pea and you will definitely be brand new – or you will end up so open minded abt politics, nail polish and silver hairbrushes that your brains will start to ooze out like jelly. Either you are fucked! Just remember, if you can buy into the idea, you are want you eat. Then it’s conceivable reading follows the same logic.

From what I understand, that peroxide dwarf has posted the image of people who made “offensive” comments on someone elses blog (not even her blog…wow talk about taking it personally….talk about ultra sensitive.. huh!) – so what siaow charbor short cake has done is try to name and shame them a la Philip Yeo style by revealing photos of these innocent commentators with their family members, kids et al. What do I think about all this? Well first of all, I have quiet alot of sympathy for those people who had to put up with her irritating rants along with how she has publicized their private lives without their permission – I am sure it was all innocent tongue and cheek comments any reasonable netizen would associate with the lighter side of social media banter – so why was there even a need to blow the matter up into a mushroom cloud – after all if a girl decides to doll herself up and dresses like a $50 low class prostitute; then how can you blame any sane thinking man for drawing that conclusion? If you don’t want to be called a prostitute Xiaxue, then try not to doll up and behave like one lah. Life is so simple. Avoid trouble and trouble will avoid you. No need to get nasty and try to embarrass other people just because your husband doesn’t even know how to make you into a real respectable woman. If it was me, it would be very different, but then you would have to stand on a stool and that is just no good. No good, I am afraid.

Darkness 2012

“If you want to support PAP. That is your business lah. You can even tatoo a bolt of lightning on both cheeks of your ass and paint it bright red. The sight would be a success, but the smell would be another thing. No one in Singapore will disturb you wot! Millions of Singaporeans do it every year, so what makes her so special! Hey! I got news for you. You are not the center of the universe! The world does not revolve around you lah! I am more concerned about next week’s rainfall. This occupies only 0.00001% of my brain slightly more processing power than it takes to tie my shoelaces – But let us be crystal clear! let us understand a few lighthouse rules about the whole business of life – if you go around like a cheap $20 blow job specialist. Then of course lah, people are going to get seriously confused and mistake you for a working girl.Come on, let us be reasonable, what else are they supposed to think when that is exactly what you have marketed yourself as? I am sorry if this stings, but that is exactly what you come across as! That my dear ladies of the erudite Siglap Club is after all is what she is doing whether she knows it or not! So don’t say, I am getting personal, everyone knows it’s strictly business with me. Come on ladies stop your fainting spells, let me put it another way ladies, I mean if you show me a spade and ask me what it is. I am probably going to call it a spade. I am not going to call it a manual powered earth transporter or even a frying pan. Now you are telling me the spade is something other than a spade like one of those regular looking cars that can transform into a giant robot, but that doesn’t change the fact that to me at least, that object still looks like a spade – and that was why I and others will probably call it a spade. As a spade is an agricultural instrument I know very well, as I happen to be a farmer, so I see thousands of spades, short, medium, long, tipped, flanged, squared, Imperial, rotunda, scallet, freinshemier – every fucking conceivable variation, you care to name. I can even write a book on spades! I kid you not. You name it I know it. Now it is the same with ANY woman. If she carries herself in a particular way, then people can do very little else except draw a particular conclusion about her, very much in the way I have formed a understanding of what a spade is in my brain – I may be wrong, but I am not wrong that it LOOKS like a spade, see my point Ladies – why is it so difficult for you people in Ekunaba to understand this whole idea of projecting an image? Be it positive or negative. I mean, if I walked into one of your regular tea sessions wearing my tightest trousers what will you people do? Of course lah, everyone will pretend to pengsan, but after that the story may continue in Hotel 81 -see my point? Maybe not, as I am too diplomatic – I have noticed one thing abt you ladies, what you want to understand, you don’t seem to have any trouble understanding. What you MUST understand, suddenly you all refuse to understand. Especially when it comes from, me. And then you blame me for been parochial and narrow-minded and destroying my life by going into commercial farming instead of being like all the good decent men you have all known. Let me try to explain again. Have you noticed Ladies, no one ever calls me gay. That is because I never touch people, don’t like to be touched either, neither do I intrude into their private space. But let’s say one day, I start talking with a shrill twang and start wearing scarfs and make up and walk around my plantation as if a carrot is stuck in my ass – then my workers will probably say, “boss is a homosexual.” Now whose fault is it when that happens? Hello Ladies, please don’t run away and hide behind the mysterious power of sisterhood. Remember, you are all here to rehabilitate me from living a life of dissipation. Remember? Some of you can even call your 20,000 readers to come down here and give me a bollocking. But surprise…surprise, it’s still a fucking spade? Or at least,  it looks like one! That’s my point – so tell me, what is this ridicolous woman trying to do by naming and shaming every male in the way Philip Yeo went all out for those bond breakers who didn’t want to have anything to do with his crazy Byzantine plans to remake Singapore. I think that is very immature. As what she is doing is trying to blame others for exactly the image she has projected in their minds. Now she is just immature and incredibly dumb. With friends like this, PAP doesn’t need any enemies, they are their worst enemy. Now she thinks, she is a peroxide and shorter version of LKY. She is trying to show the empire can strike back. Could it be she is single handedly trying to kick off Yacob’s version of the Internet code of conduct. Well take a closer look at my hairy ass lah! Maybe the answer is there.”

Learn from the Elephant – never forget

There are many people out there in this world who like to capitalize on our collective ability to FORGET. Forgetting is a natural process of living; you could even say, as human beings we are all hardwired to forget unpleasant episodes throughout our lives – it’s nature’s way of keeping us sane. But sometimes when we are not MINDFUL of what others say or do; then it is very difficult for us to hold them to account. Neither can we hold them to fulfill the promises they have made. I remember many years ago when Mini Lee said that he was going to increase GST to help the poor – till today, nothing has really been done for them. As for the monies raised by the GST increment, that also has gone into a black hole (if I am wrong, please correct me). Then very recently we had eight ball, that millionaire comedian who proclaimed that inflation is not going to affect the “average” Singaporean. After he was given the rotten tomatoes treatment by the netizens, this was changed to politically correct, “only the minority will be affected.” Well, maybe eight ball and his spin doctor’s should check this out: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304707604577421520969453072.html

Who is telling the truth? I have absolutely no idea. But the entire suggestion that stratospheric prices for cars and real estate is NOT going to impact the ordinary Joe in Singapore is hard to swallow even under the most forgiving standards – for one products don’t just walk from the warehouse to the supermarket shelf – someone needs to drive it from A to B. As for real estate hikes, it’s simple, if rental is going up, then the cost of living and even doing business is going to shot right through the roof – so to suggest for one moment, these things will not translate into higher inflation and affect ordinary Singaporeans and residents is simply criminally disengineous (if he wants to sue, please drop a line in my comment box, we will take it from there. I stand by what I say)

Now that the battle for Hougang is set to unfold – some politicians are hopping that people will be forgetful again – hence, it’s best for people to be mindful of the Tao of the elephant – never ever forget unless you want to be taken for a ride again.

Darkness 2012

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“I am a very simple man. I do not believe in the idea of grace. I happen to believe it is a stupid idea that is based on mumbo jumbo. If you slap me for no apparent reason, then I will probably give karate chop followed by a Kung Fu Panda kick. If it escalates then, it escalates. If you run my name through mud just for the fun of it, then I will probably hunt you down, it may even take 10 to 20 years, but trust me, I am by nature a very persistent, meticolous and determined man so one day I will probably get you in my sights and we will just take it from there. Please understand this is NEVER personal. It’s strictly business. You need to understand, the accounts need to be squared. Beside I hate messy accounts – I like to see the in’s and out’s clearly lined up like a row of picket fences. You could say this is the way I was brought up – that is why whenever politicians or used car salesmen promise me something; usually I will try to make good their promises. If most people want to be graceful and forget abt it, that is really their prerogative, but it is very unlikely I will ever forget about it – I have a memory like an elephant and some people have even described me as a sticky sort of character, but I believe in the long run – this is really the sort of attitude that one needs to develop, if one is really serious about the whole business of getting ahead in life. I remember one time in my neighborhood when I was growing up. I had a Raleigh chopper bicycle which I bought with my own money washing cars – I was very proud of this bicycle. One day some pocket battleship gangster came along and said that I should give it to him as a tribute – I said, “no.” So one night, they poured petrol over me and threatened to set me on fire. So I had to give him the bicycle. 18 years latter, fate and destiny crossed and this same man was sitting right before for a technicians job in a factory – he didn’t recognize me, I was a manager. You got to understand everyone in my neighborhood either ended up taking drugs or became a gangster,  but I knew who he was, so I hired him. It was sad that he did not last very long in the job, one day he went in to clean a steel drum the size of bus, the machine suddenly kicked to life as it wasn’t properly isolated. Maybe he didn’t know the procedure  – maybe someone got careless – I really don’t know – we all had to put his remains in a plastic bag. I felt sad for this man, sad because he had come all this way to Singapore to work and probably put food on the table for his family – but then again accidents happen all the time – yes, it is unfortunate fact of life, accidents happen all the time. These are just some of the things I have lost that I cannot seem to forget very easily. I mean the lost of my Raleigh Chopper that is.”

Captured very recently in a thread in Ekunaba.

Dumb Politicians and Dumb Newspapers

When politicians from the ruling party are so unimaginative and lazy that all they seem to do is take cheap shots at their opponents to gain a political advantage. All they are really doing is showcasing their pettiness and immaturity to the general public. When all the newspapers can do is parrot these bent politicians inorder to further their hidden agendas. All they are really doing is undermining the trust and faith that the public has once bestowed on them as the purveyor of the truth. And when both politicians and newspapers do this time and again – the ordinary man in the street will at some point say to himself, “hey, wait a minute, this is not right….it’s not fair!” Everyone no matter whether they are rich or poor, highly or lowly educated, intelligent or dumb, exceptional or average all have a keen sense of justice and fairness – when these elemental principles are treated as like chess pieces by politicians and newspapers to gain a competitive advantage over the opponent – a point has to come when everyman will simply be so repulsed that they will simply have to choose to be answerable to his conscience instead of someone who is appealing to their support on TV.

This will have to happen. And nothing will be able to alter the outcome.

Darkness 2012

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“There was once an evil deacon in a church who believed he was God. So one day, he told me to repent. So what I did was kick him down a flight of stairs. I think that was the best decision, I ever made in life. In life sometimes for a man to live a no nonsense sort of life, if he is really seriously about pursuing an organically balanced life – it is necessary to stick it right in and worry about what happens latter. If you don’t learn to do this, then people will fuck you whenever they like; they will use and abuse you, till your brain is spinning around – so if you happen to be a policeman, secretary, dentist, dog catcher, politician, bus driver, NTUC cashier or just an ordinary Joe that is trying to find that mythical line in his life – it’s never a good idea to be accountable to anyone, not even God. Like I always said, he is always optional – it best to be only accountable to your own conscience and the rest can go to hell.”

This has been extracted from the Way of the farmer – The Brotherhood Press 2012

Making Peace with the things that cause you Grief

Life is really too short to wake up in the morning with thoughts that do very little except hold you back. So cherish the people who treat you right, think about them often and make sure the relationship is always nourished to grow that special something. Never take for granted, not for even God. He can stand in line – as for those who you rather forget, consign them to the dustbin of life, forget them in the way you set fire to something that you want to obliterate from the face of this planet – it is very easy and extremely liberating. I once stepped right out of a church about 8 years ago. Never ever looked back and since then my life has improved by leaps and bounds – as I no longer put my faith in mumbo jumbo or have to deal with people that I would rather prefer to give a solid kick to the stomach. Instead I put all my energy these days into real things that hold out the promise of real value and if everything goes according to plan, they will keep me in good shape somewhere down the uncertain road of the future. Never try to live your life to please others, if you do that, it’s lose / lose either way, either you lose big or small that’s really all there is to life – forgive those who don’t believe in you; understand them for who they really are; as usually they can’t even believe in themselves without relying on massive doses of the narcotic of mumbo jumbo just to get through a day, so why even bother working your ass off to get their approval – what they think about you alters absolutely nothing in your life. But what your wife and kids think about you matters today and probably forever. Above all remember that for everything that once went wrong in your life, it happened for a reason. It didn’t just happen – and whenever things don’t go your way. Maybe it’s like a man trying to pour water into a bucket with a hole – many will say what is the bloody point? But I say, at least the effort you put it to keep your spirits up and to push on endures – that effort doesn’t just go into the drawer like a hammer once grief has left you standing there all alone as you look at it’s departing wake – that thing is you and you are part of that thing – and it’s called character. Trust me,  if you are going through financial, health or even challenges in your relationship, you are probably going to look back at all these bad things that has passed your way – and you probably be very grateful. I don’t just mean grateful, but really really grateful that these things have happened to you – as you probably wouldn’t be where you are today or even one tenth of the person you are today, if not for them.

So thanks for nothing Jesus & Co. life has never been better, infact it’s great. Mother nature sends her regards to you.

Darkness 2012

“Sometimes no matter what you do, some trees just don’t seem to want to produce. When that happens, it best to go right down to that sector and take a real close look at the trees instead of trying to find the solution by looking for patterns in the weather report, soil analysis and historical yield – try if you can to even spend some time in the field, camp in that troubled sector for a few days, live off the land and just take in the whole scenery of the area. As you do this, you will begin to notice very small things; the ants, bees and worms all have something important to tell you, if only you are prepared to listen. I think it is the same with people, trees and even animals whenever we met someone who rubs us the wrong way. It’s normal for us to turn away or avoid that person – in other words it’s a defense mechanism on our part – we don’t know how to deal with it, so we rather avoid it – that’s perfectly natural. But if you just take the trouble to be there with the thing or person that is causing you grief, you will find that they will begin to open up slowly and that is really the time to listen – and even when you do this to someone who is hurt like a wounded animal it can be tremendously edifying, as it can often change their lives dramatically for the better. This is what I have learnt as a farmer – when something gives you trouble, take the time to understand it, be patient and observant, try to see what others just glimpse at, look with a perceptive eye and be attentive, it’s really only a matter of time before the solution will reveal itself – and when it does, you will probably smack your head and wonder why you didn’t pick it up earlier – that’s because you are so focused on the doing, that you have forgotten to slow down and still your mind.”

This has been extracted from the popular series the way of the farmer – proudly brought to you by the Brotherhood Press 2012.

“Guildsmen who have worked as planters in Africa are a very different breed of men from all of us who run plantations in Malaysia, Indonesia and Burma – just two weeks ago, a flash flood hit us smack like a tsunami of water in the middle of jungle – 2 completely submerged two four wheel drives – at that time, we had two of them here on a plantation visit. They knew exactly what to do. We don’t know Gentlemen, remember, we were all squatting down and sucking our thumbs. They organized the men, barked orders and winched the stricken four wheelers up. We don’t even know how to operate those sort of equipment. The two of those fucking guildsmen worked throughout the night. We walking around like zombies. Two of them stripped those four wheelers right down to the chassis, rewired the electronics established com with Primus. We didn’t even know how to make ourselves useful. We just watched. Then two of those fucking Guildsmen put everything back like a Lego set and all this was done within 24 hours. In the morning I was able to step into a brand new spanking car and drive away like any other day – this may seem nothing to you, if you are Singapore. But over here. I think we think we might have grown flabby and somewhat complacent with good living. Here if we lose a car. We can just pick up the phone and get someone to sweat it out for us to put it all right. But lose your wheels in the middle of the Congo, don’t know how to duck bullets and even give a bit bit of lead back and I can guarantee you, you are toasted. The fact that these Guildsmen can do this with such remarkable ease tells me there is much to be learnt from hardship and strive. Gentlemen, we must play this game cunningly, if we are to win the race. There remains no doubt in my mind within this year alone. The Guilds will supersede us to the point of rendering us irrelevant. The Guilds are so advanced in the game. They no longer share their designs with us, preferring to parlay with the other houses directly – in time the balance of power will shift. Moral rectitude unfortunately is not a forte of the mercantile class in our game – they will back the fastest house in the stable. They don’t give a shit about what we used to be. And what we were before we all became soft? We were not like that in the very beginning. I still remember the early days when we were always wet because the camp was leaking. Do you remember how we even had to ration our batteries? Then we had to all learn to something none of us had ever done before – grow trees. But this regularity in being able to see our plans pass from the realm of theory to reality breeds complacency. For the Guildsmen they did not have it that easy . Frequently they were forced to improvise, adapt and overcome with cunningness – it is conceivable they may even have organized themselves to do the things we are supposed to do. We know for a fact, they are going into mining. In a small way – they seem to going deeper into the Niger right down to Togo – to places where you can still get a hectare for a price of a Braun electric toothbrush. They are prepared to take the risk. We however have already to much to risk it all. I think Gentlemen the game is truly over. We should at least have the grace to take our hats off to the best man. They after all are winning the race and will probably cream us at it – so I suggest we engineer an face saving exit. Alternatively, we can do what they do. You see I have been thinking, the most fertile plains up the Irriwady is Shan state. Now that Burma is trying to plan Parliament and rule of law – how long do you think Opium production is going to go on – now tea is not sustainable. But there are a multitude of other crops that can grow in that region – maybe not oil palm, but commercial teak and perfumed wood – so who ever goes there right now and strike a deal with these warlords can maybe also get a hectare of land for a pair of slippers – now if you are going to wait till, the big boys see this opportunity, then it’s going to be USD$50,000 per hectare plus GST. Because by then Burma would probably be like Vietnam or at least Cambodia. Now it’s a pariah state. A country that is no different from what China used to be when every Chinese just wore dark grey curtains and commuted to work in bicycles. But look at them now. So the question there is who is going to volunteer to sail up the Iriwaddy, ride an elephant and sell the idea of growing exotic slimming tea in the Shan state?”Tzestrive.”

How Pettiness makes you stupid.

      
When we are unhurried and the direct opposite of faster, fasterer and fasterest only then can we allow wisdom to step before a clear and calm mind – only then can we make out the ant hill from the Everest; never ever confuse the two. One is the insignificant. The other is the real thing. Be mindful of others and yourself whenever you find yourself slipping unconsciously into a petty state of mind. Usually it comes when you start fashioning a mountain out of an anthill. But so what, if you really win the argument or get your way. As even if you declared an anthill a Republic and stuck a flag on it – it is still an ant hill and very low and humble when compared to a real mountain. That is the reason why whenever you see petty people playing their games of intrigue; all they really doing is demonstrating their unworthiness and relentless belief that evil always pay out’s better than good thoughts, deeds and actions – these petty people will try their best to sell you their version of the worthy, when they know full well, all they are really doing is playing with your sense and sensibilities – but a man who is unhurried and the direct opposite of faster, fasterer and fasterest will never even have time to hear out petty people who are trying to sell an anthill for a molehill.

Darkness 2012

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“Having a sense of scale is very important. If you can put a problem in a context, but you lack the scale. That is no good. Scale is very important otherwise you will end up doing very stupid things like trying to kill roaches with atomic bombs – keeping things in scale is really just another way of saying: one should always strive for balance in all things in life. But beware of petty people. Some times it is easy to make out petty people in your office, void deck, hawker center or even circle of friends – at other times it is not so easy to make out petty people; as these people aren’t petty, at all. They are just very cunning. What they are trying to do is appeal to our pettiness. Our petty fears and dreams. And all of us are petty in our own way very much in the way Tolstoy began his epic paramour Anna Karenina by describing how: Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. That famous cryptic line is just a very long winded way of saying, if you do all the right things then you will be happy; if you get it dead wrong on the key things in life, then you will end up bald, fat and probably someone no one wants to fuck – in other words. You are screwed beyond all hope of economic repair. That’s why you should avoid petty people at all cost. As they can only rob you of wisdom by trying to seduce you into get rich schemes and try to sell you the idea, you should trade in the short term instead of waiting out the long term. Petty people can’t be farmers – because when they see a mosquito infested swamp that maybe the Ugandan Govt decided to give away for the cost of a pair of slippers for one hectare – they never figured out that men could drain that swamp. Neither would they ever imagine, men would even supervised the work day and night. Often at great risk to themselves as there are always warring factions shooting at each other wherever any government want’s to give away land for the price of one slipper per hectare. But these men pressed on often enduring great hardship of perpetual dysentery, relentless rains, crushing loneliness and now they all have a spanking plantation. If you take a petty man to your plantation he is will just tell you this is a very beautiful estate. You must be a very rich man. Take a wise man to your estate and he will make out with his eye the lines on your land, he will seek out the ravine that used to be there, the boulder spot where a wall of granite once stood and much more only to probably say, “You are indeed a serious man, you are this plantation.” My point is to do big things; one needs to think big. And that is the opposite of petty. As when we are petty, we will work ourselves up over the small stuff – and every time we do this, we diffuse our precious life force. Over what? The small stuff. But if we are in the moment of the big; even if we are poor, unemployed or feel that we have sold ourselves short in the game of life. We can still race ahead, as to think big, is just another way of saying, if you want to get ahead in life, then don’t be petty or be taken in by the petty games people play. And once you can walk that fine balance – it can only be a self fulling prophecy for some many of our Brothers who once set foot on a continent called Africa – all these men really had in their hearts was a world. Not even a real world. A world that’s large enough by present day technology accounts to fit into a drawer. And in this game where good and evil was waged – these men had no choice but to think big – so they had to rid themselves of pettiness to play the game well – if the cost of prosecuting a war proved protracted and threatened to bankrupt the exchequer; these men had to parlay for possibilities, through threats, intimidation and what I can only describe as the Medici dynasty motto: power to protect money; money to protect power. This was how our game was played. One had enemies standing outside our gates and in every darkened corridor of sanctuary – to thrive a man had to think at two levels – strategic and tactical. But most importantly, he cannot succumb to the petty – if you are petty, you will never even make it to level 1 of this game. Some people have been stuck there for over 10 years! 

Now do you see how life at times does seem to be able to do a pretty decent job of mirroring art. I admit it, it doesn’t do a good job all the time. But in the case of those 4 guildsmen who headed off to Africa to find their fortune – you could say the illusion has become real. 

Tell me could it be Gentlemen, Kafka’s doll is really married to that ridiculous Prince from Translavania? 

worthless from worthwhile

If we observe the world carefully, we will notice much suffering. And suffering leads to anger. Anger to frustration. And frustration leads to pain. And pain to self destruction. It is natural for us all to seek an end to these distressing thoughts that continually bug us – so naturally we seek for refuge just as a traveller caught in a storm seeks shelter. Some seek in mumbo jumbo, turning water to wine, walking on water, rising from the dead – hey, if it works for you, go ahead. Only remember this when push comes to shove and you find yourself going crazy and suffering from X files type ailments – your job, your perpetual worry abt the rising cost of living, your crummy boss, the kids or the in laws – if you put your faith in the FAKE instead of the REAL, the worthless instead of the WORTHWHILE, then you are going to be let down big time. As ONLY real things can really save you and put you on the right track of living an organically balanced life. And the first rule in this path is that you will continuously say NO! to the worthless and only YES to that which is truly worthy.

To invest in the worthwhile and to do it as often as you can. Can only mean you’re cutting all the right moves. You are prudent with money not because you are stingy, but you know the real value of a thing – give you a choice between eua de cologne or perfume, you will go for the latter even if it cost 10 times – that is because you know what is worthwhile and what deserves to be thrown out. The reason why we are even having this conversation in the first place is because when you look all around you NOT many people seem to know the difference between real and fake, worthless and worthwhile. And politicians and big corporations know this only too well. They all like to dangle treats in a way a man holds out dog biscuits to a slobbering terrier. Unfortunately most people go for it; they get sucked into the worthless when the fail to make good decisions like holding back on second best in the hope of getting the best. Most of the time politicians and marketeers win – if you don’t believe me, just look around your room and ask yourself how the hell did you end up with so many things that you didn’t need in the first place? My point is simply this: it is only when we can really distinguish between the worthless from the worthwhile can be begin to know what real QUALITY means. Quality time, quality of life, quality job, quality marriage, quality golden years, quality friends, quality significant moments in your life and above all quality in enjoying an organically driven life that always fills you to the brim with energy.

It is only when we begin to cultivate this habit of winnowing things that are of value and useless, worthy and worthwhile on a daily basis with people we come across, article we read in the newspapers or watch on TV- through time as you practice this like breathing it will become second nature to you. You might even begin to see is slight in your demeanor; it seems as if, you are much more streetwise. Suddenly thoughts acquire speed and precision – you can even do things that you couldn’t before like hold back on something good and wait for the better one to come your way. You know the better one was meant for you, the very moment, you said no to only something good. The reason why your powers of perception has improved is no accident either. As since you have trained your mind to see the worthless from the worthy. And this you do diligently – then you have acquired PERFECT UNDERSTANDING – and that is just another way of saying: You see all things as they really ARE, rather than what appear to be.

Darkness 2012

Apprentice: Master,who is my greatest enemy?

Master: Yourself.

Are you one of the Sleepless in Singapore?

Dealing with Shift work

My friend Gintai seems to be suffering from the shift blues – well, I don’t claim to be a guru in beating the shift blues. But I do have plenty of experience with 8 and 12 hour shift work – I put myself through University by holding two shift jobs, one as a cook in a 24 hour restaurant in Leicester Square and the other as a morgue attendant in Charing Cross hospital (no customer complaints unlike my other shift job) – when I started working. I was pushed right up into management – don’t ask me how it happened, I was just lucky, you know the sort of man and old, rich and powerful like to have around them – because they know they can share stuff with you and you wouldn’t even know how to connect the dots and do them in – but that sort of life; wasn’t really what I wanted to do with my life. I’ve always been fixated with the whole idea of REAL businesses and REAL wealth – and you’ve got to understand in my generations the whole idea of value really became so elastic and malleable that you could even have a dot.com firm marketing boutique dog biscuits and they would be worth even more than Boeing Aeroplane Group or General Electric – so I knew something had gone crazy in the world, the whole idea of VALUE had been exaggerated, embellished and mythologized to a point where it had been evacuated of all VALUE. And this compelled to go back to BASICS, and to get basic in an industry – one has to start from the bottom -and that means, the factory – and they all run on shift. You see I really wanted to know HOW things were made and how much technology was required and most importantly how best to manage these type of workers.

Because shift workers aren’t ordinary workers – only management seems to think they are – and that is the root of the problem. So if you are a policeman, nurse, doctor on call, production line leader, Comfort telereceptionist, security guard, pilot, seven eleven operator or someone who just feels crummy because you don’t seem to be able to get regular restful sleep most of the time. This is for you. Will this work? Yes it will because it is based on the organically balanced way of the Farmer.

The first thing the farmer doesn’t do is go against the grain of mothernature – and that is unfortunately what most people who cannot seem to sleep well seem to do, all the time, they frequently sabotage their own chances of getting a restful night’s sleep without even realizing it MOST of the time. And that’s because they don’t prioritize sleep – in the way you would give time, effort and undivided concentration if you want to be a concert pianist – most insomniacs have one thing in common – they are all blasse when it comes to the subject of sleep. They regard sleepiness is Singapore as Karma – a nightly purgatory of wanting yet being denied again and again. So this leads to a way of life. But if you genuinely want to have a restful sleep and awake refreshed, then you have to put SLEEP at the top of your list. That means from the moment you wake up and even before your feet touches the floor – you are already preparing yourself to have another restful sleep in 16 hours time. When you do this, then you will be very conscious of the decisions you make daily – a coffee at three in the afternoon with a group of friends, may remind you that you’re lucky enough to have good buddies at work. But it may also screw up, your plans to sleep. You will be aware of little things, they will come to your head, you will know it when you see it – and at every experience you will find yourself asking: will this help or destroy my sleep?”

It is only when we make a consciously make this effort to continuously interrogate ourselves whether this or that can take us or deliver us to dreamland can we begin the process of healing ourselves from the ravages the world has inflicted on us, only to be reborn young and revitalized as a new creation every morning.

Take sleep seriously and you will sleep seriously.

Darkness 2012

“If a man does not know how to “chiak chua,” he will end up in hospital or the IMH. To chiak chua does not mean you are lazy; if that is the case then 99% of students in Singapore are lazy as they like to spot questions and that is really a form of chia chua – sure, we all like to denigrate people such as myself who have perhaps elevated the lifestyle of chia chuaism into the uppereaches of philosophy – but I prefer to call chia chua, resource management – now you all taking me seriously! Because that is precisely what it is – no one is atomic powered, no can keep the intensity of an hour and stretch it to 8 hours and still have enough left of themselves of juggle family and a 101 other things – life unfortunately demands more than you have of yourself – the life force. And this is the cornerstone of the way of the farmer – to be always mindful that every morning depending on how nourishing your sleep was, you will only have X number of highly effective minutes and Y mediocre and the rest is just good for holding a mug of beer or something more substantial. We are all prisoners of our own limitations – if you don’t know this, as you are probably a twelve year old who stumbled on this blog. You will when you have reached my vintage. So to me the name of the game is not even to get ahead – because these days if you really want to be driven all you will end up doing is dying young. It is not abt survival either, as that is not really about living as it has more to do with existing- even grass can do that. The goal is to have a sustainable life, where instead of growing weaker and more forgetful year after year; instead of allowing your jobs to grind you into a heap of dust – what you do is beat the system instead – and only way you can beat the system is to remember this: the system wants to grind you down – they want you work faster, fastener and fasterest, even want you to be supersonic when you wipe your backside after the shit came out from your poop chute at Mach 2.5.  Take it from me, the world has become a crazy place now. I remember reading somewhere how calculators, computers and modern inventions will free us from the mundaneness of life leaving us more time to do the things we want – but a reverse has occurred, we are now even mimicking machines, in the way an entire nation walks around as if everyone is suffering from mass hearing impairment – everyone is so connected these days, they can’t even live their life – we have lost our way it seems, instead of control, we have chaos. So if we are to thrive in a chaotic world, we must always be mindful of HOW much of ourselves we are willing to INVEST in others, ideas and things. Knowing how much or little to invest is a way of being mindful that everyday only comes with a full battery charge – waste a big part of it on hating someone how did you wrong 10 tens ago, then how much more do you really have to go around for the rest of the day? It is only when you see yourself as a battery powered being, that you can say yes to the things that will facilitate a good night’s sleep and the No, to the things that will always take you away from it – and soon you will learn to say no comfortably – no to another drink, as it time to head home for some shut eye; (if you are a bachelor) no to even a fuck, but be very polite and try to schedule it in anywhere except Hotel 81 (as that place is cursed like the Bermuda Triangle). 

Enjoy a nourishing experience of being healed by nature as you sleep restfully tonight, switch off the lights, light a candle and breathe and nature will do the rest.”

This popular series has been brought to you by the Brotherhood Press 2012

illegal racing in Singapore.

Illegal street racing has been part of the singapore four wheel underground culture for longer than I can possibly remember. (Beyond that my lips are sealed) At first mods were mainly done on mom & pop Honda Civics, then this gave way to Nissan Skylines and now anything goes McClarens to full blown unplugged versions of Lambos. But the people who are part of this secret fraternity in this underground sport usually make it a fact of life to learn how to live dangerously, that’s to say, you chances of fingering them as a street racer is like finding a needle in a haystack, impossible to trace – but that is only to be expected, these people know how to manage risk and more importantly have the skills to get out of a tight hairpin without having to put others through unneccessary grief and problem. The problem these days seems to come from wannabe’s who really don’t have any idea what’s really in a bonnet of a car; neither do they know how to handle themselves when things start to get scary and hairy; These amatuers all seem to believe a car is just like any other car, when infact what they’re buying into is a rocket with four wheels – the worst thing these days is anyone who can just write a check for a couple of hundred thousand dollars can own such a high performance sports car or in this case a million dollar coffin – wonder no more why they are usually the one who cause fireballs and deaths all over Singapore.

I am a simple man. Who sees the world only in simple way. I hope what I say will not offend anyone, if I do, please feel free to move on to the next excellent blog. But I really don’t have any sympathy for show off’s who drive powerful cars into bollards or other people’s car and cause the death of innocent people – I think it is a good thing that they have departed this world, as the only cars they will be driving is boxy paper mache cars that can’t really do much damage to the spirit – when these seriously confused people die earlier; it will be better for all of us, as our world will be a better and safer place for our families, friends and loved one’s.

Carry on lah!

Darkness 2012

“Things can get into your head without you realizing it – you could be really just really interested in the sex life’s of others by watching them do their thing with a pair of binoculars – in no time, you will confuse their passion with your own sex life. This is how insidious the process is. That is how dangerous things will affect all of us – it is the same with an Italian sports car, new climbing kit or a titanium limited edition mountain bike – they all can perform wonderfully and they are blisteringly fast; but there is usually a bite to it, there has to be, something has to give when you can fly as if you have wings and fire is shooting out of your backside like a rocket- and most of the time, when the bite occurs the next thing you know, you are already flying – you pull the levers of control, they are connected to nothing – as when a man has not taken the trouble to prepare his mind to handle a dangerous thing; then it is very unlikely that he will ever develop a healthy respect for it, or for that matter try to even understand it beyond what it is skin-deep. But how can this, be? Open the bonnet of any street racing car and you will see three main set pieces, the engine block, controller and intake / remember all these can be tweaked beyond factory settings, all you need is a laptop computer and some black arts math. But the driver cannot be hacked. I can’t shove a usb into your asshole and download Arten Senna – so when a bloody fool who never ever once researched and studied this machine simply straps all that power on – usually, like alcohol it goes right up to his head – the experience can only be heigthened by a $1,000 per night rent a China ass sitting in this cockpit of certain death – now this man has power and an audience to show off too and he suddenly thinks he is in Monte Carlo de Plaza. This man suddenly feels emboldened and powerful, when infact, he’s really just like a man wrapped around to a rocket with a roll of duct tape – I think to own something is not nearly enough, to truly own it, one must know every component from the inside out and understand how it all fits together – only then can this thing, be it a stallion, sword or car have a soul and can truly become part of you, in the way a swordman’s regards his blade as an extension of his body. The accomplished swordsman always knows the absolute limits and strengths of his tool, so there is a heavenly balance as not only does this man who has bothered to understand things have the power to bring out the best in things and people, but he’s always in control. And control is everything – in this way, you can never find this man out of control. As he is always in control.

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Some years ago, my Dutch neighbor brought back a doberman pitcher – now this is no casual dog. I know as I’ve grown up around large breed dogs all my life. On a few occasions when the Dutch couple took their prized dog around the neighborhood. It didn’t take everyone very long to realize that the dog was out of control – despite the couple trying their best to restrain the dog whenever it lunged forward at a knot of kids who looked like shivering rabbits before this monster. They were not successful. So one of the elders in my neighborhood. A man who was a retired policeman politely suggested a muzzle, the uncle said, “this way even if he breaks out, the damage can be controlled.” But this Dutch man would not have any of this. Infact he suggested the ex-policeman should go and muzzle him. As the Dutch man believed his dogs has as much rights as any man. So that evening the neighborhood elders gathered in the house of the school teacher somewhere in Huanguan St. Beneath the swrill of cicada’s – one of the aunties lamented, “aiyoh, now even my grandchildren dare not take the shortcut to the path anymore.” Thereafter a Mr Chiam, a retiree who once worked in the Inland revenue remarked, “if we don’t act soon, then something terrible is going to happen. As these people don’t seem to have very good control over this dog. So what will happen one day if the dog gets out of hand? What use is the police after one of our grandchildren are mauled to death.”

Sitting in one corner, Mr Pang sipped his puer er and sighed, “we need to bring in a professional?” A chorus of aiyoh’s resonated from the half pengsan aunties – “you mean the dog whisperer?” Mr Pang’s demeanor had now hardened, “No, someone who can solve our problems. I know of such a man. A son plays their game. And I know he cycles around in Bukit Timah every Wednesday at 5.00 in the morning – for the right fee this man will be able to solve our problems and the best thing is he comes with the assurance of absolute confidentiality – mouth as tight as an oyster.”

How this was actually accomplished no one really knows – one morning the dutch couple were seen posting images of dog lost posters along the lamppost – enquires were made, dunno a la Singaporean style was the answer. And the dog was never seen again – as for the residents of Huanguan Ave, they were happiest

There are many legends about this big black dog, some kids imagine it was abducted by aliens to help them build a super species race of half alien and dog mercenaries to take over our planet – others have even claimed, it was part of some macabre secret ritual, as ropes were found just the day after the beast went missing. No one really knows, except maybe the man who slipped into darkness with a dog.

Why we may have no other choice but for little Singapore to think big

If once upon a time you asked Philip Yeo to shove that scholarship us his hair ass – then I really don’t think that is such a bad thing. Now you are all ronin – life it seems is not as clear cut any more; but trust me, even in this underground there is a path. A path known to very few, but nonentheless it offers a way – now we do not have time to play twenty questions – follow me!

 

 

 

It is only when…….

It is only when we can step out of the hard protective shell of our ego and pride, can we begin to see the endless fields of possibilities before us – as when we are still trapped in our delusions of granduer along with how others may regard us – then it is very difficult for us to experiment in life. When this happens, the educated will only aspire to be salaried men; they will never see the wisdom of branching out – and as time goes by, our ego and pride will shape so much of our being that it’s impossible to do anything other than what we have always done to get by in life.

When we can step out and see the world without ego and pride, then actions will acquire speed and thoughts precision – meaningful things will be meaningful, useless things will be useless – along with knowing how much of ourselves, we should invest in the meaningful and why it is so important to discard the useless – as useless things that can only fill our minds with nonsense. And no good has ever come from pursuing nonsense – when we see the world clearly and understand where we stand in it and why we are even standing – then it wouldn’t matter what our family, friends, colleagues and neighbors may even think of us when we decide to do something that they consider “beneath” us, be it turning the life as a hawker or farmer.

As it is ONLY when a man is free from the affectations of this world, only then can he begin to live an organically balanced life – such a life is centered on REAL beliefs, not the mumbo jumbo of turning water into wine or walking on water. It is only when a man has centered his life around REAL beliefs can he begin to harvest the goodness of what life has to offer.

Darkness 2012

“When nobody wants to be a hawker, you should be a hawker. As you are really buying into a very good thing when it’s dead cheap. When hawkers start buying ferraris and crashing them all over the place in Singapore, then I don’t think it’s possible to be a hawker any more, as by then the cost of buying in to be a hawker would be impossibly high. But if supposing you decide to be a hawker. You must be your own man – and here clarification is required, because many people these days like to call themselves their own man, when infact, they are no better than remote control toys. Being your own man means if people don’t respect you just because you happen to be a hawker, that really just bounces off you like a shell striking a tiger tank – it has no effect; no impact; it is like mosquito bite. That is because you know who you are and most importantly everyone in your family knows why you are doing the things you do. That if you must know is the only thing that matters, the rest you can throw into the dustbin. So don’t sweat the small stuff.

It is the same if you wish to be a farmer – there is land all over the world – most of it is taken up, but there is still free land in places where people like to carry guns and from time to time shoot at you – but if you are the sort who likes to live dangerously, then you can be farmer in any part of the world. Sure many people will say it is dangerous. As there are alot of dangerous people in those countries that offer free land to anyone who wants to be a farmer. If it is not risky, it would be worth USD$50,000 per hectare. But remember what I mentioned earlier abt going into something when it’s at rock bottom prices that no one even one’s to touch it with a barge pole. In these countries there are also no laws – so a man has to be very clear abt what he’s going into. You may end up dead or worse still decapitated and your execution broadcasted in YouTube. But at least you have a chance to make it big. Not a very secure proposition some many say. But I am one of those who believe firmly that security is relative. After all even brigands do their risk assessment – they aren’t bloody fools who will rush to eat a boney fish even if the flesh taste great. They might say, this will be hard to swallow, things can get very complicated, I may end up in the morgue – so as you can see it is not as bad as it seems, there is always an opportunity to make peace and live and let live. Besides why should dying be an issue, you can also die very easily in Singapore as well when a Ferarri ploughs into you or when a diplomat can’t get it up and decides to run down a few innocent people just to prove that he is a real man – so you can really die anywhere. But I think the risk is acceptable, as usually conflict and risk can both be managed.

But the most important thing when you decide to commit your mind, body and spirit to these things is to know why you are doing it – this is the secret recipe for having the right attitude and stamina to see a thing from beginning to end – it is to know what it means to “lor tak hei, fong tak lok” – to pick up a thing and set it down.”

Extracted from The Way of the Farmer – proudly brought to you by the Brotherhood Press 2012