Making Peace with Yourself!

May 12, 2012

We are all flawed, even the best of us. Not everyone cuts all the right moves in life. Those who claim they did are liars – everyone carries with him and her a baggage of the haunting past of what could have been, if only I didn’t fuck that turning point in life up; could even be failing to get that grade and having to settle for second best for what we believe to be the rest of our lifes – or even failing in a business deal and having to see our dreams turn to mud.

Let me be frank and honest. Being blotted out by the shadow of our past can only deny nourishment to everything that’s hopeful, satisfying and nourishing in life – it stands to reason, since we can do nothing except carry with us the entire summary of our PAST. We can only live an unbalanced life. A life that is not in harmony with the laws of nature. Think about it, if nature really hardwired us to live in the past instead of the present. We would all be born with rearview mirrors. It is only when we begin to be mindful of how so much of the past can move so freely into our everyday life that we can really be acute aware so little of ourselves is living in the PRESENT – with out presence in NOW (This very second when you are reading this and not playing Soduku on the side) – how can there be such thing as a FUTURE and most importantly the power to MOVE on in life – to break out – to rocket ahead it seems that we are so shackled to our past failures that we are ALL like a man who suddenly finds himself waking up in a 9 by 10 cell – at first he struggles to fathom the incomprehensible – “why me?” then it gives way to a sort of resigned acceptance in the way a man in a wheelchair can only look on with defeat at a flight of stairs. And this can only bear the fruit of suffering called bitterness. Bitterness leads to anger. And anger to helplessness – you know the feeling where you look on at others who seem to have played the game of life so well and you wonder to yourself why can’t I even figure out how the game is played. No you’re not dumb, no it’s not because it’s a mystery – but bear in mind this sort of eating away at a man is what invariably happens when life is not balanced – there is no Ying and Yang here – no purposefulness that can even power you forward – if anything it holds you back – and when goodness gives way to feelings of hopelessness – we can only see the world in darkness – we seek out the worst in others, instead of seeing their good points – we remember what they did to us or how someone like him brought us grief somewhere in our distant past – yet we are quick to forget maybe, we cannot perceive what’s good because we are really living in the shadow of our haunting past.So like the man who has only known disappointment, loss and seeing the things he once loved and cherished being snuffed out like a candle – we continue to trace out our haunting past in the PRESENT – we see schemes when none exist, we mistrust when there is every reason to trust, we hold back instead of giving it all – but above all, we have betrayed ourselves by driving out everything that we ever wished we could be and much more.

But I say to you right now – you have to FORGIVE yourself; sometimes when we fail to make the grade; so what the fuck! there’s a reason – we may not know what that may be when the crunch came but serious men of this world all know: when one door shuts another door opens – it has too, and it will – maybe not be tomorrow or the day after or even a year or two from now – but a day will come when you will just say to yourself – if I didn’t go throw that period of losing everything where I can’t even see a country called hope, maybe I wouldn’t be the man that I am today.

Trust me shit happens to the best of us, but get back because BEFORE you can even move forward, you’ve to just travel light and that means making peace with yourself. 

Breathe tomorrow is another day; a new beginning and new start. 

Darkness 2012


“Everyman reaches a point in life when he realizes it doesn’t pay to run away from his past – when a man doesn’t sit down with a bottle whisky in a very dark place and deal with the many demons of his past – it will simply overwhelm him. There is no point in pushing it away or saying to yourself, I am not like that, I had a happy childhood and everything was smooth sailing for me – bullshit! Everyman has a past, you have one so do I – and if we really want to break away and make something out of our lives, we simply have to deal with the things that holds us back – it doesn’t really matter whether you are a policeman, teacher, insurance agent, care salesman, dentist, professional call girl, politician or even a pastor – the past has a way to walking right up into the present and when it can come and go as it likes, that’s a real problem – a very big problem, that why when I found the man with the slicked back hair and sporting the expensive Italian suit called the Singaporean gangster in London just stroll right up as if he owned the present – I just said to him, why don’t you sit down – we need to talk my friend – and I just told him, this can’t go on, one of us has to leave – and somewhere in my mind eye’s, I placed a revolver on the table. And that was really the turning point in my life – when I walked away from it all, I didn’t even look back, not even once. As for that man from my distant past, he just disappeared and with that the rains came. I’ve had a hard life. But since then, I’ve worked hard to make it softer and kinder.”

Extracted from the way of the farmer – Brought to you by the Brotherhood Press 2012

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