I’ve be taking a break from blogging

June 13, 2012

The dry season is finally here. And my tribal friend Orpuk has sent a boat. It is time for me to make the long journey deep into jungle to continue my research.
I will be back in 5 or 6 days.

Darkness 2012


“To find yourself you must sometimes lose yourself. What this actually means is, you can really only know more about yourself when you are thrown into a situation where you might find yourself asking “why did I just not stay at home and watch TV?” That at least is what most new age books tell all of us. But I don’t believe that one has to sail the seven seas, climb the tallest peaks and even do anything memorable to really discover what you’re capable of. The reason why I say this is – I’ve done most of those things. Hello no big deal lah. Even cripples in wheelchairs have scaled Everest. Besides, people change. If I came across as brave then. Who is to say, I wouldn’t chicken out today? So I know those experiences we all consider once in a life time don’t maketh a man. I am not saying you don’t discover new things about yourself, like how you can wear the same underwear for 30 days straight and still believe that you smell like a bar of Lux soap, when people all around you are either fainting or dying from nerve gas. My point is none of those brave cinematic moments in our life can ever maketh the man. One reason for that is because every single one of those so called significant moments have a very define start and end period. You can’t climb beyond the pinnacle; there is nothing else beyond the seven seas. So how can possibly create a new you within that short time frame? That doesn’t make any sense to me. Not even a bit. Like I said, that’s why all those new age guru’s are full of invisible shit.

My point is you don’t have to do something heart stopping to discover more abt yourself to make you a better person. There is really enough terror in everydayness to compare with all the seven seas and Everest put together and much more. Even the act of waking up to go to work every morning can sometimes be an act of uncommon valor. As the vast majority of mankind don’t like their jobs – they may tell their colleagues at work that they love their work. But deep down inside they know, they could have done much better, if only…even when we see our friends who seem to be doing much better than us, we beat ourselves us by asking, “why cant we be like them.” Contrary to what those new age guru’s spout out. Everydayness is the ONLY place to discover the HERO in you. You don’t need your baptism of fire anymore than you need to sit in an oven for one hour. That will not change your outlook in life. You don’t need to find the place where serendipity and epiphany intersects on some mountain top. That also will not change your outlook in life. But what WILL change your outlook to life – is when you just do the same thing day in and day out – you could just as well find the hero in yourself when you’re pulling out teeth, driving a bus, piloting a plane, planting a tree, lawyering, doctoring or even just taking time to be with your wife and kids.

As in litany of everydayness lies real terror that you can never find elsewhere – here terror is relentless, its bone and spirit crushing in it’s repeating. The daily monotony of going to work, returning from work, trying to find interesting ways to spend your off day without ending up in a police station. All these things can wear a man right down to his bones. Even the best of us. As what really heightens the terror in everydayness is the terrible prospect that you can never run away from your own life – that this is your life for better or worse, that as you turn the page of life everyday by doing the things you know, you HAVE to do and don’t have a choice abt it. This is your life.

Courage in everydayness takes forms that we don’t usually associate with courage, that’s because we have been brainwashed by Hollywood to believe in an archetypal hero – the guy who crushed the serpent head etc. No one ever associates the daughter who decides to take on the responsibility of caring for her parents when the rest of the siblings don’t even seem to care, a heroine. Neither does anyone associate the mother who continues to believe in her autistic child despite what others may think or say, a hero mum. The cookie cutter man who holds down two jobs and brings back the bacon. The lone opposition politicians who pushes ahead despite incredible personal cost to himself and family. The father and salaried man who has to suffer an evil boss and sweat shop working conditions who makes it a point to always be cheery to his wife and kids – as he doesn’t want them to know his sorrow. The survivor who needs to approach work like a Mossad trained secret agent as he knows failure is not an option. As he only has enough one bite at the cherry. If he misses, he is looking at bankruptcy. The father who has to give up everything that is familiar to go to distant shores to find his fortune as he knows he cannot be content with just happy middle class – as they will be squeezed – correction: they MUST be squeezed if Singapore Inc is to work. All these silent acts that the world never seems to register is the raw material that makes possible the idea of courage. The real McCoy my friend, the variety that’s good to cash in the Bank of England, that to me is real brass-stacks farmer approved courage – as its as real as it ever gets.

Like I said earlier, sometimes just to wake up in the morning to go to work is an act of uncommon courage. You should give yourself a pat on the back for making it this far in the game. Really you should. I insist, let me give you my Aikido bear hug…”

Entry extracted from the SLF 4 locale: Strangelands / SECTOR A109 / Planet: D’ni / System: Ursula Bilbao Toon / Town: Canaania / Tenement (if any): unable to ascertain / Systems: Warning cover screen detected – auto response force shield up – general quarters alert – evac sequence initialized – battle systems fully primed / launch commit sequence on standby/3258u9/4li


Transmission re-boot KDD Evergreen. FAIL.


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