Six months ago when farmer first met the daughter of the one million hectare oil palm tycoon called Mr Big Bully – the way the farmer

September 30, 2012

At Age 41. The only daughter of the one million hectare oil palm tycoon no longer saw the world through rose tinted glasses – she now saw the world prosaically. Realistically. Warts and all.

At 41, the daughter of the one million hectare oil palm tycoon – had finally learnt to see through the world – for what it really is – and not what it’s so often painted out to be in the moment of her carefree youth.

At age 41, she realized the only active ingredient in an expensive jar of anti-ageing moisturizing cream was really only water. At 41, she had even discovered much to her consternation, that she needed reading glasses and teeth were not made to last beyond 40, if one was cursed with a sweet tooth. Such as herself. 

Above all at age 41, she realized not every man who came her way always had the best of intentions. Not even the gentleman planter who had suddenly appeared from nowhere in his stylish black turtle neck and matching Italian suit. Most of them just wanted something from her – she could see it in their searching eyes; seek it out even in the shifty way they carried themselves and tried to impress her with the vapid and faintly interesting – there was always just enough of doubt for the 41 year old woman to ALWAYS hold back. To keep that part of her heart’s of heart all to herself. To never ever surrender it all to just any man. Never….As at age 41, the little rich girl who was the daughter of the one million hectare land owner realized only to well – to give all to any man would simply be like flinging open her armored plated door of her heart to allow hurt and crushing disappointment to color the rest of her days.

As at age 41, the daughter of the oil palm tycoon Chan Sim had finally reconciled herself with the many missed opportunities and shattered dreams that had traced through her life. She even entertained the idea, there were only so many mistakes in love a woman her age could make from this point onwards – after all, despite her frequent visits to Wuffles (if he wasn’t at court to trying to get out from another traffic offense fix) – she knew that even flesh, bone and sinew could never stand up before the chastening passage of time – that great equalizer – that mother of all spoilers for womanhood. At age 41, she realized Botox, lifts and tucks behind the ear, merely created the illusion of youth. The chastening passage of time would also win like the rigged roulette wheel in the Casino de Monte Carlo.

At age 41, the daughter of the one million hectare land owner had reconciled her sweet remembrance of all things in the moment of youth in exchange for the crushing reality that she was now a woman who whenever she looked at herself in mirror – could never really allow herself to see the image reflected. As the woman in the mirror had began the inexorable journey towards the next level of life she dreaded most – Auntyhood. 

Through the years, the 41 year old woman had lost her wide eyed innocence and sense of optimism along with having to regulary take sleeping pills that had once allowed her to see the world in only bright and clear cuts of hope and joy – a world where she remembered always smiling and filled with a sense of expectancy. But now at age 41, the light from that world of innocence had through the years grown so faint and distant.

In this desolate geography of shattered dreams and hopes of a 41 year old woman – she realized that good and decent men these days were as hard to find like clean toilets – she would often recount to her retinue of hanger on’s – “the good ones are already all ENGAGED. As for what’s still left – they are all full shit!”

But that day when Chan Sim had decided to accept the farmer’s invitation for coffee – when he had suddenly appeared before her on the pavement in St.Martin’s. Poof! When he had even looked at her in the way he did and said to her in a murmuring rush like rolling thunder “…..after all, I’ve travelled half the world for this cup of coffee.” What really stirred and resonated deep within the 41 year old woman who saw the world prosaically – wasn’t what he said, or even how he said it. If anything. What moved the terminally jaded woman most to even follow the man demurely and even obediently as if being hypnotized was the completeness of the realization that this man had seen every hemisphere of her hopes and aspirations along with all her shattered dreams in that one singular moment when their eyes had locked – in that one momentary span of time, she could just about make out how this man had stood there in the barren landscape of her desolate heart like a knowing farmer who stands with one leg on his fence at the edge of his field and lights a cigarette only to look contemplatively at the last remnants of a dying evening as it bows out to the velvety darkness of night – she knew that he saw it all – she could tell from his eyes.

Chan Sim could tell. The 41 year old woman wasn’t naive. She could even make out deep beneath the cool confident exterior of the sophisticated gentlemen planter there was a  dark windy road that led to the same palace of pain that she knew so well. She had remembered saying to herself when she first set eyes of on that gentleman planter.

“He is the only man that I have ever known who can see deep into my heart’s of heart. He saw it all! Yes in the one moment. I feel naked. I must find out how did he learn to see it all so clearly. Pain cannot be described. It has to be felt. I need to find out his pain. It’s not fair! I tell you all it’s not fair. He can see my pain and all my hopes so clearly. But I can’t see his. I’ve been waiting for all my life?- I MUST FIND OUT! I must find out his pain – then I will know. Then I will truly know whether he is the one…the only one.”

That day as the 41 year old woman walked alongside the farmer who she much preferred to call the gentleman planter – she realized there was more to this man than met the eye – much much more it seems and that intrigued her no end. And as they walked together as the light slowly turned a currelean hue to greet the approaching night – somewhere between two lampost, the 41 year old woman no longer saw herself as the 41 year old woman any longer. She had simply been reincarnated into the year zero woman, the reset button had been pressed – she had magically travelled back through time and now as the year zero woman walked beside the mythical lover. As she knew this was really the point in when her life would really begin – the man had after all peered into her heart’s of heart and had said with his quiet, understanding and gentle eyes,

“I understand. I understand completely…. I am after all the mythical lover. Do you not recognize me you silly girl? I am the man who you have been waiting for you…the man who has travelled through the ocean of time just to find you. And to complete you……I am the mythical lover.”

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