The day the spectre of famine hangs over the countryside – Part 2

October 25, 2012

In life it is uncommon for some of us to believe that we can undo the wrongs of this world and make it all right. From time to time, we may even believe we see the world clearer than anyone else. That our vision is the clearest of them all.

This afternoon I signed an agreement that makes me part of consortium – a consortium comprising of merchants of convenience, cut throats and people who I can only describe as immoral and greedy. A consortium that will ensure my continued survival even if it means others will probably have to suffer.

How does a man begin to square this with his conscience? – the short answer is he cannot. He simply has to accept the awlful truth that he may well be a hypocrite par excellence and no amount of negotiating around the matter will ever change that synopsis. Yes, I am a hypocrite – as when it comes to talking about what should be done – this seems to be the only thing that I seem be good at. But once my economic interest has been threatened; then it seems I have more or less lost my enthuism to pick up the many challenges that I once championed – it seems I don’t have any trouble to setting aside these considerations. To even regard them as trivial and unimportant. I am not a fool. I am aware of what I am getting myself into – I am mindful of the before, during and after; there is nothing here that is not within my control.

And what is a man or for any man supposed to do when he knows that he may have crossed a moral line somewhere in his head? Perhaps this man has very little choice but to simply learn to accept all this stoically – that or fashion some happy lie to try to feel better about all this. What else is there to do?  

Now all of you must excuse me, I really have to return back to the meeting – like an actor on a stage. I realize there is very little scope for improvisation and one simply has to speak the lines one has been given.

No this is not the way life is supposed to be. This is probably has nothing to do with life at all. If anything it’s simply one of many instances where I am no longer sure whether I am part of a system that can produce more good than harm – I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. I am not sure anymore. Not sure at all.

Darkness 2012

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