Never forget your good memories……it may well be all that separates u from insanity

March 26, 2013

pupa-puposka-snow-globe-17158-5647_zoomThe most beautiful thing that two people can do together is to share a moment in time that they can truly call their own.

Just imagine the very idea of being able to hold a moment like a heavy weight in the palm of your hands as you would a snow globe. To shake it from time to time when the world goes crazy and just still your mind as you peer at yourself and the one you want to be with in the snow fall of this tiny another world.

To watch it and wonder how many times you have returned to this place in your mind’s eye – to remember the smiles, laughs and sunny skies that never ever seem to fade.

surimantrek20032There was this time when I just started my business – I spent six months in the jungle. I don’t think words can truly measure up to what six months really means when one is in the jungle. I wouldn’t even try to explain it to the lay person. As its impossible to imagine it unless you have a very good imagination – all I wish to say is, six months is roughly about the time when you will begin to discover why Robinson Crusoe never bothered to shave any longer – six months is also just about the way point where you will probably discover there is a very fine line between sanity and madness.

guildsmenindonesia23423But through that six months of ordeal – one thing kept me centered. This idea of a snow ball in a room somewhere in my head. When things would get really nutty. I would just run to this place and lock the door and shake this snow globe and watch the snow fall. Then it all comes back to me slowly – and I am suddenly filled again.

I know who I am and what I must continue doing. It all comes back to me. That is just my way of carrying on. I guess. My way of keeping my sanity during those six long months in the jungle. My way of continuing that is.

Darkness 2013

“Today I received three calls from on Nokia mobile phone from Dotty. One at 0734. The second at 1834 and the latest at 2341. Maybe she is calling out to find out how I am getting along. But I know that’s not possible. As there is no reception here. We are too deep and far off the grid. But I heard the phone ring. I am not hallucinating. I actually heard it ring, as clearly as I hear the roar of the engines now. I heard it as I can see the sun fingering through the canopy. How is this possible. Have I suddenly passed through to another world? Have I died and gone to heaven.

Perhaps – but when I look up at the mirror in the field tent – and see a gaunt old man staring back. I say to myself. I have spent an eternity in the jungle – I know it can’t be true. As each day passes it is harder and harder to maintain the discipline with the men without resorting to threats of violence.

We gambled against the jungle. She ate us up and spat out the seed – that’s what we are all really like right now after spend so long in the field – none of us are moored to anything in that other world. The jungle makes it presence felt every moment it’s like a vacuum cleaner that keeps on devouring all that’s good, noble and separates the homo sapien species from animals – all these the jungle has scoured away, layer by layer, day by day as we all make our way deeper and deeper into it’s womb.

We cannot fail. We have to break through – I know it’s over that hill. I just know it deep down in my heart, it’s over there. “

Log entry 186 / The Suriman Trail Expedition – 2007

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