Thinking of Migrating? Then do it for all the right and not wrong reasons.

April 18, 2013

If you plan to make a life changing decision to leave for greener pastures. Do it for the right reasons. Do not be consumed by anger or hate. Do not even be emotional about it. Approach it like a well trained Mossad agent on a mission where failure is not an option. Remain calm. Do your research meticulously, then when the time comes for you to step up to the ledge.

You will find that you have wings….this is the power of calmness.

The calm mind is what makes it all possible. Not your qualifications. Not how rich your dad is. Or even whether you flunked your O levels. It all starts by just stilling the mind.

Good evening to you all.

Darkness 2013

P.S: I am in the field now. If this post is garbled. Please remove it.


“The goal in life is to be your OWN man – to be a master of your own destiny. The exact opposite of someone who just wakes up every morning, brushes his teeth and puts on his tie to go to work without EVER thinking so much as once – what is it all for? Am I am approaching this whole idea of life intelligently?

To accomplish this simple yet impossible feat – to be your own man, it is first necessary for a man to cultivate a habit of seeing the world for what it is and not what others say it is. That simply means you trust your mind and judgement completely. You trust it so much that whenever you come across a propaganda piece in the Strait Times, you call a spade a spade. When you hear politician spouting feel good rhetoric…you just call a carpetbagger a carpetbagger. The key here is to develop the confidence and honesty to see the world in those terms – and to develop the habit of questioning everything and NEVER to take any thing at face value. NEVER!

I happen to believe very strongly this is an attitude that needs to developed to a very high level, if you are serious about migrating. As no matter where you decide to sink roots. You will often find it tough, challenging and in certain cases very stressful. But this is only to be expected – as you have just uprooted yourself from all that is familiar to suddenly find yourself in an unfamiliar alien environment. And now that you are in this alien landscape where everyone and everything is different – you have to establish your reputation, worth as a man and what you stand for all from scratch.

So it’s not unusual to be assaulted by doubt from time to time. Especially when things don’t go to plan. You may find yourself even questioning this entire enterprise – and when you go through that sort of gyre – you will soon discover that both anger and hatred are really lousy allies. As it can only lead you astray and further away from your goal.

I will be frank. You really need to learn to be kind to yourself. To even understand that your mission as a family man is never an easy thing. To even cut yourself some slack. To somehow come to terms with the idea that you need to be always gentle on yourself by setting small and realistic goals – as when you find yourself flaying in a foreign land. One of the things that you will notice is that, there are many who will feel distraught. They too may be overcome by despair and hopelessness – as let us face it. Migrating is never a simple enterprise – it’s really one of those things that you probably want to go through once or twice in your life time as it is so demanding on every aspect of your personality – so to develop the stamina to lead your family and be a leader in your community – you really need to develop the stamina to stay the course.

That is why anger and hatred in my opinion are NEVER good reasons to just pick up and go – as with that sort of attitude, I can more or less guarantee you 100% you will probably end up where you started – and I doubt that you will even get to enjoy your search for Avalon.

If I had to only mention one force that can sustain you mentally, physically and spiritually – then I would have to say, it has certainly got to be LOVE. Love for your wife, children, loved ones and inner circle of friends – as when a man is filled with love, then it is almost impossible for him to fail. Impossible!

As when a family man is in love, then everything is possible…..that is one of the reasons why I believe very strongly it is not possible for a man to be whole and complete unless he makes a commitment to raise a family – as when he crosses that line, then he knows….somewhere deep in his head….failure is no longer an option. This is something that the homosexual, lesbian, metrosexual and half man can never aspire to understand even if they live 1,000 years. As when a man brings children into this world, then he can only realize that life is NEVER just about himself…this man now suddenly comes before a higher calling…one where he will learn about the whole idea of servanthood, fatherhood and brotherhood.

That is why when I come across a committed family man. I am always wary. I much prefer to cultivate his friendship. As we really have so many things in common. Besides such a man can be a formidable enemy….this is not unusual at all. Not at all. As love being what it is, can always be reliably counted to find a way. No matter what the odds.

Even now when I think back. There are so many trials that I much prefer to forget. Bury even. Some I don’t even want my wife and children to ever know about – as they may see me differently. But I need you all to understand –  I did all these things – took extraordinary risk – played high stakes poker where everything can be lost in one roll of the dice – all these things, I did. Not for myself…NEVER! it was always for my family, loved ones and inner circle of friends….only for the people who are dearest to me. That is the power of love. When a man has love in his heart. Everything is possible and nothing is impossible.”


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