Log No.2 17-7-13

July 17, 2013

Worries about recent developments : It makes no sense to me why my enemies have decided to sell their lands – I have fought them for four years for every single square inch – its been a hard, long and relentless war with no breaks.

Now are you telling me – they are throwing in the towel? That is not possible. Makes hardly any sense to me.

They know I want these two parcels of lands that they are putting up for sale – its after all adjacent to my current estate – its a logical fit.

I think they want me to approach them. they know, they have gone too far. Or at least some of the wiser ones in their gang know – they know, I will hit back. And if I don’t, that just means I bidding for time. They want to sit down, talk, hopefully reach an amiacable solution – detente, if not that perhaps a sort of understanding where we will live and let live.

No!

Since I own the sorrounding lands around these two parcels of estates – I will begin to dam up the river on my side secretly tomorrow – I will transform their lands into a lake. They will NOT know this NOW of course – as it is the dry season. But when the monsoon comes and the water table begins to rise – who in their right mind is going to buy an oil palm estate that looks like Lake Toba?

If I can do this, then I would have succeeded in using time as weapon against my enemies. Then I will wait for them to come to me – and when they do that, I will ask them why in the world would I want to pay so much for mosquito infested swamp land? Perhaps I will even give them a lecture on the facts of life.

Why do they want to sell now? Why? What do they intend to do with the proceeds of the sale? Are they going to regroup and start an oil mill? Or maybe they have other designs that I am not even aware of – I must find out. I do not understand. These sister fuckers have fought a bitter war against me for so long and now they want to sell? Make peace? Be friends? Forgive and forget? Do I look like Jesus Christ, Gandhi or even someone who just turns the other cheek? Makes absolutely no sense to me at all – no, this has to be a trap – they want to contain me like a trouble maker – box me up in this area – while they go somewhere else and enlarge their territories and once they are strong, they will come for me again – I am not going to fall into their trap. Not this time.

This afternoon I told the broker who approached me about the land that I am not interested. I DO NOT WANT TO BUY THEIR LAND! I wished him luck for trying to find a buyer – I do not believe he understands what I mean. They want to be vicious. So can I. They want to play dirty. So can I. From today onwards the gloves come right off.

I need to think like a Mossad field agent. Instead of behaving like someone whose losing it – need to infiltrate my enemies inner sanctum – need to wear my Zegna bush jacket tomorrow and try to break into their toffee nose social circle – need to get close to the 32 year old spoilt daughter of the ring leader.

I know she is intrigued by me. I can tell by the way she just freezes and reaches for her neck whenever she notices me walking into the room whenever I attend one of their arty farty functions – I am a hunter. I know she is confused by what her daddy tells her about me – he’s a trouble maker, he will just give you grief, stay from him!

What else can account for her expression of fear and fascination – she wants to know, yet at the same time she is afraid – I need to go to the golf club and work my charm on her. I hate golf. But I have to pretend that I like it to get close to Patricia – I need to get so very close to her that I even have her between my legs when I show her how to put a ball into a hole – yes, many things other than balls can go into holes, I imagine – I need to find out what exactly her father and those sister fuckers are planning to do – turn her against her own father – as this latest move just doesn’t make any sense to me at all.

I think it is a good idea that I turn up one Sunday in her church – and pretend that I need God back – she would not expect me there. So I have the element of surprise – in the art of war, surprise is everything.

As everyone knows that I have turned my back on religion along with mumbo jumbo. I will pretend that I forgot my bible and sit next to her. Then one thing will lead to another and eventually all the beans will spill out – as it is, without intelligence, I cannot plan. I cannot see what’s coming. That has to be dangerous.

After what they have done – I do not believe I can take the risk and just wallow in self pity – I need to be focussed like a laser beam – treat this like a failure is not an option mission.

Street Fighting: I must be careful with the way I manage my frustration – especially my anger – I recently had three bouts and in every single case, it has ended with my sparring partner having to go to hospital – if this keeps up – everyone will think everyone will think, I am a psychopath who is mentally unstable and dangerous – I need to get less physical and just focus on instructing the students in my friends fight club by limiting my training the punching bag –  I need to be calm, cool and composed with my sparring partners. No one must suspect that this man is dying deep within. No one must ever know. I must be very gentle and just limit myself to the punch bag. No more bouts. No more for the moment. Its just too dangerous. As its conceivable that I should NOT trust myself.

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