Why every businessman MUST learn to play golf

September 29, 2013

It’s hardly a matter of choice. If you don’t know this. You would probably never ever know why. But if you know. You know. Then it would hardly require any elaboration: why I say, it’s hardly a matter of choice. Don’t try to talk your way around it – it’s an armor plated case –  the perfect circular argument, that is.

In my planned second edition of the e-best seller ‘how to succeed in life like a Mossad secret agent.’ I will definitely include a chapter on how to play perfect golf in two months – I may even consider throwing a dinky golf towel to go with every purchase –  the definition of golf as I see it –  is no different from how to split fire wood consistenty – that is to say, if one wants to split fire wood efficiently, then it’s necessary to bring the edge down consistently on the same spot with just the right amount of kinetic energy.

This capability can easily be transposed to the bull shit game of golf to enable you to hit straight and long shot. Everything else is a side dish including….. form…it seems – the goal in golf is to ONLY hit straight and long shots. 

The politics of golf like all old and ritualized games takes it’s cue from ballet and dressage – and this suggest form is ONLY non negotiable if the golfers plays horrendous golf.

But true to all bull shit classical games where rituals and orthodoxy commands a disproportionate currency on their adherents – IF one able to pull off straight and long shots – then it seems – he is magically excused from having to keep to the corseted necessity of FORM. 

In which case that perculiarity or quirk is somehow explained away as arcanum in very much the same way how every golfing pundit seems to be able to explain why Tiger Woods never needs to hold his gaze at the ball (a golden rule of golf) – since his swing requires him to slide his hips earlier than other golfers to achieve those long and straight shots.

In short the politics of golf even provisions plenty of leeway for unorthodox swings providing one is able to consistently pull off straight and long deadly accurate shots – in which case, it may even be a status symbol, if a golfer is able to pull off highly accurate placement shots using an unconventional swing – as many golfers seem to be able to explain away this quirk as a function of how that player has not only mastered the traditional way how to grip, swing along with pull off a reasonably orthodox shot – but they will also invariably assume that he has accumulated enough secret knowledge on the game to allow him to synthesize his own style very much in the way professionals often customize and tweak their gear along with swinging techniques to get that remarkably best shot –  this is especially true for my case, since my golfing form is not only unorthodox, but it breaks every single rule of how one should go about playing good golf – but since I am able to consistently get the ball to land exactly where I want it to land on the fairway and the green without too much fuss, everyone assumes that my perculiar swing has nothing to do with not having been professionally coached. Rather they all assume (without a single exception) that it’s an accreation of having played the game for so long that I even seem to have developed my own unique style.

Gentlemen, this is how conceited the game called golf is. And this should not come as a surprise either. As that is how bull shit games often explain away anomalies – it takes it’s cue from Frank Sinatra’s score – “I did it my way.” That is to say, PROVIDING you are good at the game, the game has even provisioned an exclusion clause that is able to explain away how and probably why you swing the way you do – they can do all this along with assuming that I have been a member of the country club since a baby and have probably teed off in St.Andrews – as since I play the game with a quaint thirty year old set of irons that you can buy in ebay for less than $100 – they all assume that I am an extraordinarily low handicapper who doesn’t need the advantage of either technology or modern forging iron heads to get the extra distance – they all assume that the reason why this guy plays with a thirty year old set of clubs is because if he had the benefit of high tech space age graphite and exotic materials at his disposal – he would probably embarrass the rest of golfers with his panache and elan – so they all think that I am a jolly good fellow

My point gentlemen is the ilk of men who regularly play golf can confect all these myths and legends by regularly assuming what is there when there is infact nothing –  along with filling in the blanks with more false assumptions –  that may also explain why golf is the world’s most pretensious and overated game….having said that it’s also a necessary game that every businessmen should learn to play well.

The truest expression of – If you can’t beat them. You might as well join them.”  

(I developed this slow drive coupled with lightning speed hip and wrist turns which I often use in Kendo to help get the rest of my tribe into the country club. Now that I have got in. The goal is to get the rest of my tribe in / this is a remarkably simple technique that only uses two rules at most / notice how the wrist and hips suddenly accelerates on impact with the ball. Unlike traditional golfing techniques – I don’t use the main assembly of the body to drive the ball by coming down, rather it’s a whip effect like a how I would effect a slice with a Samurai blade – this method produces (1) a very consistent variable power train (2) remarkably straight,distanced and pin point accurate placement shots for positioning the ball on the green – I will share this techniques I have developed with all of you in the second edition of my e-book, “how to succeed in Golf like a Mossad secret agent.” I will also share golf club infiltration and intelligence gathering techniques along with how to eat, park, drink, socialize, kit up for golf without getting cancer of wallet and wasting time – techniques like how to network, get close to movers and shakers, dress and talk like an old man, how to leverage on uncle and auntie power to succeed in business as well. )

 

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