It would probably seem peculiar to most people, if I shared with them, to find happiness one must search for it in loneliness.

I say it is strange because the vast majority of humans usually look for fulfillment everywhere else except deep within themselves, be it trying to find wholeness with a soulmate or by seeking a sense of validation and approval from others. But true happiness can really only be found deep within.

It is pointless to search for it elsewhere.

In my other life when I was in Singapore….

To be or not to be? That’s the question. In today’s society we are taught to give in. Fortunately, most of it is what I call the good giving; like volunteering to give up one’s seat for the aged or a pregnant woman. Slowing down for pedestrians on the zebra crossing and even digging for shrapnel whenever school girls accost me no end for donations.
But there’s a less savory side of giving in; which isn’t so good; and that’s the part where you have to give up part of who; you are or who; you aspire to be; so that no one labels you a troublemaker. Here like thumb screws; it’s the law of steady increments that really squeezes you where a plethora of fuzzy justifications such as the “collective good” or the “socially acceptable” kicks in. Sounds innocuous enough; after all everyone wants to get along, everyone wants to be happy; besides who wants to get red flagged as a trouble maker?
But what happens when, the cost of conforming just slips over the line into plain selling out? What happens when saying yes or bowing out thrusts one’s consciences into turmoil because deep down, you just know its just plain rotten right down to the core?
I guess you can even throw the question against a broader canvas and ask yourself questions like what are you really expected to do; when society is telling you one thing but your mind another?
When the question of conformity is posed that way, it gets terribly complicated, even darn right impossible to seek a happy balance. At the end of the day, it really boils down to beliefs and how prepared you are for the long haul. I mean this reminds of the time; when I saw this transvestite sprawled out across my bonnet in Changi Village; she had probably been whacked up by one of her customers over the bonnet of my car.
At first, I said to myself, I better outsource this to the police, but I don’t know whether they’re going to book her? So there I was running through the calculations till it was just about smoking; Mmmmh, what if I decided to take her home with me? After all it’s only for the night; besides, I am sure she or he will be up and running again by then. But what if the nosey parker bible thumping brigade in my condo spots me out with their high powered binoculars? What if someone whips out a camera phone and machine guns away? What if someone tells my ram rod pastor? What will happen to me? See my point, it’s a slippery slope, but one thing holds true in every calculation: to be or not to be; it all boils down to how others see you and not how you actually see yourself, as person.
That’s one of the things that confounds me no end about the whole business of giving in; as what it usually boils down too is a form of fight or flee. Where usually the response is the latter only because one has to take care of one’s interest first before others; you know what? You can even call me someone who has a very weak personality, since I am just the sort to be bullied into conformity. I am just being really honest here about how I make those sort of life calculations.
As it turned out; I did take Mr Chin aka Sandra back home with me; that’s at least is what I gathered from his and her IC. And yes, the Bible brigade did turn out in full force. They even filmed me carrying Sandra into my apartment with one silicone augment tit splaying out; and yes, my church was duly informed and it even reached a point when I even asked God why: did he allow all these things to happen to me?
At first, I tried to explain to everyone; but after a while. I realized, I was merely compounding their suspicion and very slowly, I just settled into a sort of stoic silence where you could even say. I just didn’t give a damn any longer.
That one incident set me adrift in more ways than I can possibly elaborate. You could even say; as far as my known community in condo land was concerned; I was the devil incarnate; gone were the days when every door was open to me; some people even came up to me and expressly told me not to look at their children; eventually, I kept to my world which saw me ridding mostly in the nights on my bike; it was a period which allowed me plenty of time to reflect; to really work out some things which I’ve just taken for granted all my life; respect, position and even the sense of belonging to a community.
Here I wish, I could say there is some redemptive ending which one usually associates with Hollywood movies where the sun suddenly breaks through the clouds and the hero discovers what he’s been searching for, but no; trite homily sugary narratives like if you conform to a way of life that is completely alien to their own, then you lose part of yourself in them! Sounds well and good, but it doesn’t cut any ice when one has to deal with malicious mail that’s regularly slipped under the door. Words of comfort which are supposed to steel and fortify; like if you gave in to your principles then some little bit of the real you dies and you’re taken over by someone else who is the epitome of what society is looking for. You know what? I have no idea who is the idiot who came out with such clap trap. I really feel like shooting him with a tranquilizer gun and stripping him naked and tying him up to the flag pole in the padang with a Ah Kua with a moustache.
Truth remains, life gets tough when you go against the system and it really doesn’t matter what the system is; it could just as well be the consortium of nosey parkers who run the condo community; the pastorial dream team; your bosses or even a group of people who think they are so smart in the net when they go about building us all a giant coffin. At the end of the day even the best of us eventually learn not to cross those boundaries and to stick to our preplanned yellow brick lives. Those who do not conform will simply learn it just doesn’t pay.
They will have to fight for their beliefs and constantly defend themselves and their ideals while they are living in a society that is constantly trying to hold them back, push them down, and beat the individuality out of them. Yet those who make it through, those who can proudly stand on their own two feet, will have a mental and physical strength entirely unknown to the other category of citizens also known as the conformists. You know, what? I don’t even believe in the last two sentences, but I just thought, it would allow me to reach the word count if I just included in as an adjunct.
At the end of the day; the life of the cookie cutter goes on; I still ride at night to Changi Village and on one night; when it just rained cats and dogs; I settled into a chair in some non distinct kopitiam in Changi Village mesmerized by some forgettable HK serial where this one eyed swordsman’s with really bushy eyebrows was fighting to save the planet; besides the ABC beer auntie there never looked so good in her cowboy booties and tank top. She’s even gave me the “special,” buy one get two free providing I stayed right on till her shift ended – and in the land of the fee where everything is going up and up; how can I say no to all that?
And to cap it all off, Sandra, the he or she, I once saved, sashays in with a few of her colorful friends; there, I was in my super skin tight spandex cycling outfit; amid the boisterous recount of how I saved her and the whales; the endless trades of yam seng and fren forever; providence won the day; good finally triumphed over evil; the serpent’s head was crushed; and of course the lingering question: how they hell am I going to get home after this? The night wore on, unfurling like a prow on a calm ocean of time – there amid it all. I felt like crying for the very first time. The world suddenly became silent, calm, soon in my minds eye. I found myself like the mythical explorer standing before the prow of a boat as the ocean of time unfurled – life I realize just goes on….where one is always searching for the self in that other country…called loneliness.

Breathe….it’s another day.”

I received a mail to this effect in the virtual early this morning – it was from a group of gamers based in Hougang known as the Team Yo-Yo. I replied, nothing would give us the keenest pleasure – as I believe very strongly it is the elemental right of every human to enjoy clean air in Singaopore.

However to get a handle on this perennial problem that originates in Indonesia, we would probably have to leverage on the knowledge base of netizens from 52 nations and possibly more – and given that the Singapore govt has recently legislated the most repressive Internet censorship laws in the world without even bothering to debate it in Parliament. It is with great regret that we cannot participate in any capacity whatsoever.

Our reasons are very simple. We do not want to be associated with people who use fear to solve problems. As we believe very strongly civilized governments should always work to resolve their differences in the spirit that respects the rights, dignity and self determination of stakeholders. It is therefore very bad for business, if we are in any way seen to be aligned with folk who do not subscribe to such values.


“As a businessman, the worst possible fate that can befall you is when people don’t feel comfortable to be associated with you – that’s really just another way of saying, they believe that they are have absolutely nothing in common with you.

Or maybe they feel their values differ so much from yours that they believe, it’s an irreconcilable difference that can never be bridged.

Then again maybe they just consider you a liability of sorts, someone who if they mix with will just provoke so many negative reactions that you will probably have to spend all your time explaining why you’re associating with him.

When you get that sort of rift, divide, dissonance, distance forming – its nearly impossible to work towards common ground.

All you have is two very suspicious groups eyeballing each other across a desolate no man’s land.

It’s a really impossible situation. As when there is no trust and only suspicion, it’s not so different from a man who keeps having to look at the rear mirror when he drives – its really only a matter of time before he drives over a cliff.”

The business world is a very dangerous place inhabited by all sorts of wild animals. From time to time, its not uncommon for my enemies to send a stunning beauty to get close to me and find out everything about my designs.

Usually, I turn them against their masters. This I do by turning the tables on them and creating perfect conditions to trip and fall head over heels in love with me – thereafter, I transform them into double agents to spread disinformation and find out about their designs.

I am very good at what I do. My timing is usually perfect and the execution is flawless. I am probably the best there is at whirling into the mind of woman and getting her to do what I want. A professional. Or so I believed – till I laid eyes on her. When she walked in just then. She brought in a her wake a storm of memories – I knew the very moment, I looked at her, everything would change forever.

It’s as if I’ve stepped on a mine and kabooom! She is not just any woman – not the run of the mill that I can even defuse with the same brain power it takes to tie my shoelaces – she could well be my nemesis, I reckon –  as when I first laid eyes on her, all I could really do was lean back into my chair with the lingering thoughts..”you have crossed the ocean of time to find me…how can this be?”

Curse them all for this black magic! She is…no…she cannot be…. Yes she is. she is the woman from that other life. A life that no longer exist except maybe in the figment of my murky imagination somewhere in the distant land where serendipity and destiny intersects. And I am powerless to stop her…it’s impossible for me to stop her, just as its probably futile to try to hold down a ghost – I’ve just go right through her like a fog. all I can really do is watch by as she walks right into my heart…how dangerous…how very dangerous.

Living is the most dangerous thing in the world. I am not even talking about the sort of living where a man finds himself swinging by the end of a rope somewhere around the upper reaches of 16,000 ft as he tries to summit Everest. Just plain ordinary living, the type that doesn’t even involve having to drive or operate heavy machinery – the sort of day to day living, where you get up like any other day, brush your teeth, put your clothes on and join the rest of humanity as they rush off to turn the wheel of life every morning.

Living is the most dangerous thing in the world.

Especially, the boring type of living where the only thing, you seem to ever remember separating one day from another is the diminishing size of your toothpaste or it’s time to get a haircut – that sort of living has to be particularly dangerous. Much more dangerous than trying to eat cut glass or jumping out of plane to catch a parachute I reckon.

As somewhere in this benign litany where every other day is supposed to unfold exactly like one polished prayer bead that slips past another bead that resembles the last in every form, shape and texture – one rarely expects anything extraordinary to ever happen. There lies the real cinder of terror of everydayness – it has no beginning or end. It just goes on and on. Each passing day a perfect reflection of yesterday. A litany – like a job that you don’t relish – a job that you know has no beginning or end. A job that is really just a job where you don’t even see a future or a way to break out from – that has to be the most terrifying and dangerous thing in the world.

When she saw me, her eyes tore away demurely. A crimson flush of shyness began to spread all over her – I simply looked on and sipped my tea….even after I had greeted her and taken her by the arm to a pavilion where tea had been arranged with an assortment of sweets and cakes – I simply looked on as I lit another cigarette – as she sat with her body turned against me with her head slightly tilted like a swan – I simply looked on and murmured to myself,

“Living can be so dangerous.”

Life is full of unexpected twist and turns. Miss a bus. Get on the next one and that could well be the difference that changes everything or nothing at all – eavesdrop on a conversation across the table and that could take you down a path that you never thought you would ever find yourself walking. Scratch your balls on a street corner and the whole wide world will change. Here in the ordinariness of living – lies real danger. A heady mix of dynamite – two parts serepidinty. The rest epiphany. Shaken and served up with a bitter lemony taste of irony. The type where a man may very well know how it all begins – but whether it will end well or in tragedy, is never certain.

Nothing is ever what it is. Even in the litany of everydayness surprises galore lurk. where the unexpected can secret itself so skillfully like a serpent that takes the shape of a harmless vien – waiting, in secret and biding it’s time to unleash it’s surprise.

Living as you can very well see…ordinary living… can be so very dangerous.

“My mistress was the third wife of the old man who I served in the moment of my youth – she was the fairest of them all – like all women in the old man’s household, her place was set in ancient stone like the chair she occupied during her mah jong sessions with the rest of his other wife’s.

This seat which faced the East, meant she was never the first to eat and always the last to leave the table and she was expected always to pour tea for the older mistresses and remain silent unless spoken too – this was the way politics was conducted in the household of the old man – whenever the old man visited, the older mistresses would be jealous of my mistress because he only had eyes for her – so both the first and second mistress would gossip behind her back and this saddened my mistress – as she could never seem to do or say any thing right, even when she tried so very hard to please them.

In the afternoons, my mistress took long walks in the nearby park in Hampstead Heath, where I was expected to serve as her silent driver and body guard – I was always expected to stay seven paces behind her – seven paces was good, just enough room to roll, whip out my pistol and fire a shot – the old man was a triad boss in China town and had many enemies and I took my job seriously.

One afternoon during her walks, she stopped and turn towards me, in that one moment, I was struck by her tragic beauty, her eyes, mouth and almond shaped face all conspiring with the dying light transformed her into the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

In the days that followed, I found myself imagining her wind sweep hair as she looked at me mournfully, the image clung to me like seaweed never ever once leaving me and even when I dedicated myself to study, there was just enough of her to torment me – eventually she confided to me her deepest and most intimate feelings which I swore never to tell another soul – and for the first time, I realize the depths of her sorrow.

As time passed I came to relish the moment when we were together, the rustling of decaying leafs, the lingering aroma of her perfume, all these things I longed for but above all, I wished only to be with her – she always recounted to me the events of the day and I would listen to her, never once saying a word, except perhaps to nod my head to signify that I understood.

On my 23rd birthday after successfully finishing the second of my degree in Imperial College, my mistress gave me a pair of matching jade cufflinks – she swore me to secrecy and though I said, I was not in a position to accept such a valuable gift, she thrust it into my hands with a gentle smile.

Of all people, I had forgotten that which I had always reminded myself, I was my worst enemy and I accepted her gift.

In return, I bought her a set of pearl earrings – though it cost nearly a month’s wages, I knew it would make her happy and that was all that really mattered, I survived on sandwiches and instant noodles that whole month, but the thought of giving her something she would wear from time to time was enough to fill the void in me and I was the happiest man who ever lived.

That Chinese New Year, the old man celebrated with eighty eight tables – it had been a prosperous year and it was also his moment to show off his new bride to the whole of China town.

And though she sat on the main table and I was so very far away – when she saw me wearing her cuff links, she lowered her eyes and smiled shyly – though this lasted only for a moment, she was very much like a cloud being carried away with the wind as she gently touched the pearl earrings I had given her.

At age 23, I Huan Guan was like a sampan sailing into treacherous and uncharted waters.

This is my true confession, tell no one.”

“In the mineral rich planet of Sardonyx @ 093899 -28921 Vector in the A 2309. Located at the outermost tip of the South Eastern reaches lies the prosperous space port known as Primus Maritima III at the Southern most tip of the peninsula – three times in one calendar year, when the winds from the Carpathian Steepes blows from the Ismuth of Kadlav heavy rains descend on Primus Maritima III.

In virtually every case, the rains are so heavy and frequent, they stress the extensiv network of drainage, canals and reservoirs leading to flooding. From the year of 93021 in the reign of Padishah IX to the 15023 at the advent of the new purple Republic  – damage from flooding was estimated to be in the region of 144 Trillion Imperial Shekelians. Widening drains, culverts, canals and reservoirs did not seem to bear out any significant improvements.

In the Age of Reason when the Brotherhood and their allies invaded the city – their engineers and Associated Mineral Guilds (AMG) conducted a sonic interluttion survey using Mindscape to attempt to resolve this intractable problem – the proposal was radical departure from established hydrological studies – as it did not propose either widening or deepening storm rains and reservoirs – instead the AMG recommended that each township in Primus Maritima III had to renovate their underground car basements to serve as reservoirs during the rainy season. The result was the Town Centralized Basement Directive / Order No: 0252-1AB, which specified that all underground carparks exceeding the floor area of 80,000 square foot and with a height of 14 feet would have to built to contain water during the rainy season, which would be pumped out after the rains – in this manner the AMG was able to augment the flooding problem without having to further expand resources on costly widening of storm drains, culverts, reservoirs. 

The general plan for each precinct to hold rain water and not stress the drainage network to the seams – in the year 17028 / a city wide program was rolled out which during the first phase of implementation of was able to contain an estimated 4,500 km3 (650 cu mi) which was progressively drained after each rain – this measure proved effective in alleviating the flood problem in Prima Maritima….”

Extracted from Page 9,034 of the Book of Ages. 


Underground basement with D-34 Hydraulic Cavity doors at enabled mode / Turbinia Pumps on Sec – courtesy of the Prima Maritima Town Planning Institute.


“To solve extrordinary problems in the real world. It is frequently necessary to use extraordinary methods.

I have alot of sympathy for Vivian Balakrishnan – as I happen to be a farmer and I for one can testify weather is something that has changed dramatically in the last five years. I know this for a fact as a large component of whether I am able to get a good return on my investment depends on my ability to predict the weather accurately. Those of you who are perceptive will realize that I use the term ‘I,’ and not the weather bureau – as that is how uncertain it is these days – as even the best efforts at weather forecasting can be fraught with hits and misses.

So what do we do?

I for one do not necessarily believe we should go about widening drains, culverts and reservoirs just because a highway was flooded. To me that sort of knee jerk reaction makes no sense in statecraft – if you want to run a kitchen with that logic, that is OK. But transplant it to running a country and it can be devastating –  as firstly that approach elides the whole cost against opportunity cost calculation – that is to say, if my house only gets flooded once in ten years – then how wise would it be to augment the problem with super duper expensive flood gates? In such a case, I rather put up with the occasional grief and spend the same money on problems I face everyday. That is what wise people do.

I happen to believe we need to frame this entire flooding problem in the right threat scale and perspective. Rather than to allow a few images in the internet to set our mind amok. That means the question at hand is not, do you want Singapore to be 100% flood free? As if you pour enough money into that problem (any problem) – I am sure it can be solved along with making elephants fly and turning Yawning Bread into a real brotherhood man. Rather the correct way to frame the problem is how cost effective would it be to make Singapore flood free? So the way you frame the problem is key here – as this will allow you to generate intelligent solutions.

For me whenever I face extraordinary problems, it is not uncommon for me to turn to the virtual for inspiration. Because everything in this world along with our seemingly intractable flooding problem in Singapore along with the entire compedium of Newtonian physics and whether you can blow bubbles with your tongue can be simulated with remarkable ease and accuracy in the virtual – you need to understand, I was a very successful farmer in the virtual BEFORE I became successful as a farmer in the real world. I even came first in the virtual farming olympics and won a tractor in Slovenia, 

What I am trying to say is with virtual reality we can reduce every aspect of Singapore into a 3D computer model and hit it with a 100 ml rain storm with a calibrated period of time and see how everything behaves – we can do it again and again and again under different parametric conditions to sharpen our strategy – so that when we past from the realm of theory to reality, its a one to one match.

We may even be able to leverage on the combined expertise from 52 countries to solve this seemingly intractable problem very much in the way, we solve so many of our infrastructural problems that we regularly encounter in our 360 colonies, 800 protectorates and 1,500 dominions. You name it, we have it, and I do not believe ordinary people understand how demanding virtual citizens can be – everything from pandemics to terrorism. Our minister of environment even has to deal with meteor showers! And electrical storms from the sun! The minister of home and colonial affairs has to deal with all sorts of internal and external threats like alien invasion and intergalactical trophy hunters.

But why can’t all this be brought to bear on this seemingly intractable problem – well you have to go and ask Mini Lee whether he thought about this, when his motley crew decided to just legislate the world’s most repressive internet laws. Go and ask him!

The moral of the story is when you behave like a spoilt brat – no one will play with you. Now you know why I feel very sorry for Vivian. As he always seems get really mission impossible portfolio’s and now that he has to find a solution to this intractable problem – it seems, he is not going to succeed again – as when you look at the human material he has to regularly work with – all I can say is if you give Michaelangelo only clay to work with, then all he will ever produce is really nice flower pots. It’s not realistic to expect a David. To make that sort of mental leap – one has to leverage on the raw power of intellectual capital and to me that sort of raw innovative and creative power only resides in the virtual community.

Like I said in the very beginning to solve extraordinary problems, you need extraordinary solutions. And the world is very very brutal and cruel – if you don’t have it, you have to just live with the problem. That I am afraid is how it will be from now onwards. Either that or maybe you can all tell me why?” 

Log 2: 5-9-13

September 5, 2013

15 day (rotation harvest commence today) – followed by volley rain @ 1930 -2124

Has to be by far the discipline to listen deeply like a super duper radar dish – not just ordinary listening where half your brain is either somewhere in the distant future, past or in dream la la land.

But the ultra deep soulful variety of listening where you are even able to create perfect conditions for the other side to talk without any discomfort, fear, reservations or the need to pull back – while you continue to pick, sort, file and build up a picture from all the information that comes your way.

The sort of listening where you even have the discipline to switch off your phone, still your movements to only what is necessary so that you are able to peer deeply into the darkened interiors of the persons mind who you are having a conversation with – to even pierce thru skin, bone and into the most hidden aspects of his designs. When you deal with a person who has mastered the art of listening deeply. It is not unusual for him to know you better than you will ever know yourself.

When you just commit yourself to do this one thing – you will know, see and hear everything. It will all be very clear.

The best part is the otherside will even thank you for a memorable and delightful conversation, though you hardly said a word and only just listened.


“The fastest way to lose trust,  push people away and paint yourself into a corner is to talk and talk and talk without FIRST bothering to listen.

To insist like a child, the world is flat, the world is flat, the world is flat. That if you must know is what good for nothing leaders do all the time – it’s as if they are trying to get mileage out of from that adage…

If you tell a lie again and again. At some point it will become the truth.

That to me is the fastest way for people to throw you into the dustbin of their consciousness – think about it. WHAT do you think these people should do even BEFORE speaking – to me it is first necessary to create the right conditions for those who may disagree or hold different views from you to listen and even consider what you may have to say without skepticism, cynicism and suspicion.

So if you come across someone who believes that X, Y or Z problem is the reason why he regularly finds it difficult to turn the wheel of life – listen to him first, even he sounds nonsensical, listen – if possible acknowledge his fears and even tell him that his concerns are perfectly legitimate – then and only then, do you proceed to lead him out of that mind trap into the field of possibilities.

You should consider trying this experiment out with your friends. You should all learn from the mistakes of politicians. I believe very strongly in Singapore that should not be a problem. Not at all. Especially when you have leaders who prefer to talk about PLSE and airports instead of jobs, jobs and jobs – first begin switching off your phone and setting down your iPad. Listen to this man or woman as if he or she is the only person in this planet. Eliminate all forms of distractions and just dedicate yourself to sensing the way the person you are listening too form words along with how they are expressed – the inflection of the voice and even how it rises and fall like the ebb and flow of a capricious sea all speak of their state of mind – listen. Watch. Feel. With the spirit of the hunter.

From time to time when the conversation seems to lose speed, stir it up again subtly, by leaning forward, nodding your head or just smiling in agreement. As if you really want to know more – that you are really genuinely concerned – in a while the other side will be speaking earnestly again.

Do this in the way you would go about weaving a spell – and at some point, the other side will suddenly fall silent. Then and only then do you speak.

Keep it short and sweet. A little goes a long way. When you cultivate this habit to listen BEFORE you speak. You will find that your words will hit home. As you have create ideal conditions for others to listen and consider seriously what you have to share with them.

This is the skeleton key that allows you to learn the first edict of Warcraft – know yourself and your enemy and you will be victorious in a thousand battle.

Caveat: If you are a man. NEVER use this technique on young girls who know very little about life. NEVER! As they can very easily be overwhelmed to a point where they will just be so fixated over you for only reasons known to themselves and no one else – and since they do not have either the brain power or experiential knowledge to figure out why you suddenly stuck 24/7 like chewing gum in their head – they r likely to mistake it for love. I am not kidding! When that happens, your wife will find out and probably cut off your cock and you will end up as a very sad man. So don’t complicate your already complicated life!

In a business setting, if you come across a skilled listener – be wary of him. If possible lead him astray by using disinformation, misdirection and deception. As you are probably dealing with an accomplished practitioner of Warcraft – it is conceivable ALL the intelligence you have on this person is corrupted – it’s even conceivable whatever opinion you have formed of him bears absolutely no relationship with reality. As in all probability that information was strategically placed there to lull you into a false sense of security to move you to the killing zone.

Prepare for war! As in business, I cannot think of a man who is more lethal than someone who has the discipline to assassinate every aspect of his character just to listen – you must mindful and keep your guard up against such a clear and present danger – experience informs me the man who listens intently instead of yapping away all the time is a truly dangerous man – that is why the Hokkien say, Tiam Kau kar see Lang – quiet dogs usually bite people to death – what they actually mean to say is the man who is able to suppress all his emotions and proceed stealthily to observe you is a man who is on a mission – a man on a mission is a very dangerous man. Find out how many make up his cell? What is the chain of command? What are their credo, philosophy and vision? 

Most importantly where possible strive for peaceful co-existence with this man who has mastered the art of listening – work towards detente or an understanding of sorts where you can both live and let live – instead of rushing to prosecute a war of attrition. Above all do not fight the man who has cultivated the art of listening. As he probably wants you to do exactly that, so that he can finish you off – he will destroy you if you are rash, emotional and hasty.

When dealing with such a character does, you would do well from time to time to ask yourself: does this person know you better than you know yourself? If the answer is in the affirmative yourn chances of succesding is zero. You will be defeated.”

Even the strongest and mightiest have weaknesses. Superman turns to jelly before Kryptonite, the Green Lantern’s power is useless against anything yellow, Spiderman’s weakness is himself – as he is always thinking of being someone else, except spiderman – not to mention, he always runs out of spider web juice.

As for me, I reckon it’s definitely fire – since every car I have driven ends up bursting into flames.

I can fully understand, if it happens when I am tearing up one of my ultra rich girlfrens supercars back home in Singapore. As I have a tendency to rip the box (I only play with the gear box, my xbox. Never theirs) till it smokes (as it is not unusual for me to split their rides in two when I am driving in Singapore – as captured by an onboard security cam)


 But for spontaneous combustion to suddenly occur in a super duper boring Toyota Hilux on a sedentry 60 mph plantation road is the most ridiculous event that has ever transpired in my averagely uneventful life….impossible…or maybe it’s a sign…a warning…..I have to be mindful of my weakness…FIRE. Yes, FIRE is my nemesis – why can’t cars just be simple like my friends, the trees and birds…..why do they have to scare me all the time, just when I believe, this is the one….only for them to turn unexpectedly on me. Tell me why?….Why?….Why lah?

RSCN1544A family man must leader. If he does not lead. Then his wife will just follow blindly whoever turns up on her door to lay down as the road map to yellow brick road to success – the state says, your child must get X or Y score. The state says, if he doesn’t get this score, then this or that will be his lot. Since the woman is bound to the idea of home. She will naturally get worked up, lose sleep and even do stupid things like forget her duties as a wife just to make sure the child breaks his guli’s to get those impossible magic numbers. After all you cannot blame her for having the “welfare” of the child in mind.

Today I was asked by an elder in my tiny Singaporean community to counsel a couple who used to stay very close to me in Tanah Merah. Apparently, their only son failed his math exams back home in Singapore. The husband is running a business in Malaysia – when we met up, this chap intimated to me that his wife doesn’t seem to be very loving to him of late, as she is so obsessed about their child getting good grades – she is hardly herself lately.

He asked me to speak to her. I told him that I was willing to do so under one condition – he has to go mountain biking with me.

The following morning he turned up in my estate with his bike. We took off. I could tell he was taken aback by my abruptness – I deliberately took a dangerous route that frequently required him to dismount and push his bike. This I did to break his rhythm. To spoil his ride. To even make it impossibly difficult for him.

From time to time, I would race head only to fall back mockingly just to remind him – he had no business to be on the trail – he looked embarrassed, but sucked it in. But soon forbearance gave way to an angry scolding look.

On one occasion when I jumped off a drop off. He braked hard and looked at me apologetically – I clucked my tongue and gave him a sneering look him that he must registered as – you’re a poor excuse for a man!

When ask slipped and fell. I didn’t even bother looking his way. Instead I just sat on my stone – that’s when he got really mad threw down his bike and glared at me. All the while, this mild mannered man turned beet root red.

Just before he could approach me. I sped off. He followed. Fell. Got up. Fell again…..while I continued my mocking dance – one where I would race ahead, fall back, whisper something demeaning or sarcastic only to race ahead again – I did this again and again – each time was measured, controlled and precise – not too tight as it might snap, not to loose either or it will not play – the tension had to be just right – that delightful mix of humiliation, despair and anguish had to all be in precise doses.

Then without warning….it came. This man who I had always known to be cool headed and calm lost it all completely.

He began to shout like a mad man calling me and my mother all sorts of colorful names – he even called me a sadist who delighted in setting him up for failure – half crying and smoking with anger, he approached me. while, I just peered deeply into his eyes – I wanted to see deep into his anguish – and suddenly that fiery whispering rush came like a wall of fire – he reached for his parang. That’s when I moved in like lightning and placed my hand gently on his shoulder and said to him in a calm and gentle voice.

“The lesson is now over….now you know what your son and wife is going through brother.”

He seemed in his thoughts momentarily as he kept muttering to himself,

“It’s hell….it’s hell…..hell.”

After he had cooled down. He told me that he had changed his mind – he no longer felt that it was necessary for me to speak to his wife any longer. He knew exactly what to do – it was now suddenly very clear to him, what he had to do as a leader of his family that is.

He had decided to send his son to Australia to further his education in a boarding school. He asked me for my opinion – I merely looked at him impassively suggesting that this was a matter for him and only him to decide on.

Before he left my estate, he thanked me for the lesson. I told him, one is always glad to be of service.

I am sure like all stories, there is a moral to the story. Only I feel in this case, it’s best if I leave to you…. the perceptive reader to figure it all out.

“Have you ever asked yourself Dotty why were you born in this time line? I mean, why weren’t you born just one day after fire was discovered when folk were running around semi naked in animal skin diapers?

Why weren’t you brought into this world, when mankind still believed the world was flat like a pizza? Or when rocket science was still a hit and miss affair and people regularly got their eyebrows singed? Why?

OK, let’s just set that really big philosophical question to one side. As I don’t want your brain and mine to explode and make a mess in Long John Silver.

But before you decide to just walk right out of that door and never speak to me again –  let me ask you a really simple question Dotty – in the four thousand years of human history, in the countless trails and tribulations of mankind from the discovery of the wonder bra to the incandescent light bulb, what do you think mankind has been striving to reach? What motivated each age to write the books they did? What was it all for? Coming to think of it, what was WW 1 and 2 and every war that came before, during and after all about? What was mankind really try to prove out of this great diffusion of energy. 

Are you telling me that we came all the way from a humble pond where we used to be tadpoles to this highly evolved state in this high tech space age timeline – so that we can go forward by going backwards by buying into the cave man Darwinian logic of the survival of the fittest – where only the powerful inherit the earth and the weak shall perish? Is that what you’re telling me Dotty.

You are shitting me rite Dotty!!!!! You mean we came all the here just to reach the very point where we started this epic journey from?

That’s why I can never agree with this whole crazy idea of relentless growth at every cost and opportunity…it’s primitive…

Now be very careful how you supply an answer to my question – because if you’re telling me that we came this far just to recreate those primitive, feral and jungle conditions of the distant past when men where just grunting and hitting each over the head with sticks – then what you’re saying is that you have been born into this timeline just to nourish human suffering. That your destiny is not so different from the sad and glorious life of the battery chicken – a life where you exist and living is really a forlorn dream……and the greatest travesty of all is that you’re telling me, we are no better plough horses where someone on top regularly needs to dig his spurs into our ribs….is that what you’re telling me Dotty?

But I don’t believe that bullshit for one moment Dotty. And even if I looked like one of those quaint plough horses with really big feet, if someone dug their spurs on me, I will just throw him off and sit on him – besides, I don’t believe for one moment that you and I were born in this time line just to play a winner take it all and loser has to keel over and die game –  where the strongest survive and the weak perish – as no matter how you choose to cut it Dotty that can never be fucking progress…Never.

As children of the internet age – I know we can find a better way out of this hell hole…ants can’t do that Dotty….but as humans we can step off the treadmill when we feel it’s going where we aren’t interested to go. Look at me Dotty! Don’t look at Dan the dentist, he’s just a robot. He knows no better. 

Dotty we have the capacity to change the very world we live in just by changing the way we think and live….that we can do Dotty right here and now. That is something that we can both do and no one can ever come between us. No one can ever stop you and me from running as fast as our legs can take us…no one Dotty…not if we dont ever give them permission to come into our brain.”

Log 2: 2-9-13 / My Dream Car

September 2, 2013



My Dream Car. I’ve set myself to buy one in two years. I find that when I set myself realistic goals – I usually have no problems working towards them within the allocated deadline.

I abhor vapid luxuries – opulence for the sake of opulence. To me that just something that doesn’t have the enough meat to sustain my interest. This machine is different, it may look ugly, but that only because you never bothered to go through the specs like I did to be one with it’s beauty. My feel is this machine not only fulfills every aspect of my work criteria. It even exceeds it. I will be so happy, if I could just drive it around the plantation everyday that I can imagine just doing nothing but dat day and night.

Of course lah, I am not going to say it is for me. I am not stupid. My wife is after all a super duper lawyer who can take me limb for limb like a ninja assassin – I will first paint it a dinky color like sunflower yellow and redo the interior to put in some dainty cup holders, vanity mirror erc etc till it’s really feminine and tell her it’s a surprise. She will probably drive it and find it too unwieldy and go back to our old MPV and I can take this baby out for a spin.




“I think when you’re a young man. You should cultivate the sensible habit of buying a few really expensive signature things when you cross certain milestones in life.

Things that will always be good to go for the long haul. Things that people may even come to associate with you. Things that speak of the values you stand for. But most importantly when you look at these things. You will remember that moment when you stood at that timeline and successfully crossed that finishing line.

Women I feel, don’t really need those reminders. As it’s generally given, they all have the permission to be capricious and frivolous to the point of chasing the flavor of the month relentlessly. Today they may decide to be sophisticated. Tomorrow playful. And the day after is really horses for courses. That’s their nature. But men are different – we need to all strive to be consistent.

Men I feel don’t nearly have the same latitude to experiment with their wardrobe, temperament or values as compared to girls. If you’re gay or a metrosexual. Perhaps you do. But you have also understand these are also half men. So no one really takes them seriously enough to demand or expect any consistency from them.

Real men on the other hand would do well to take their image seriously enough to realize that they are literally their own corporations – that’s to say even if you work for let’s say Dupont, Citibank, the government of the planet of the apes or General Electric – you are still ultimately your own corporation FIRST and foremost, whatever comes thereafter, where you graduated from and who you work for comes second, third or fourth – that’s because when you talk to someone for the very first time.

The only enduring aspect of you that they will ever remember is how you came across – the way you carry yourself, your carriage, fitness level (or lack of it), ability to hold an engaging conversation, how you manage yourself and others, whether you can keep your wits in the face of hardship and adversity, how you set about approaching a task and seeing it through to it’s logical end. All these speak of you the CEO of the YOU. Your own corporation. So this idea of people regularly saying, my body is a temple to me is all wrong to me. No! To me it’s closer to the idea of a corporation. As when you engage others, you can either be so compelling as for others to want to know more or just a big yawn or turn off.

Now when you see yourself in this metaphor where you are now your own Inc and CEO – then suddenly everything changes. Life will never be the same again. Suddenly it’s no longer an enduring mystery why you may even find it so difficult to take certain “leaders” in your workplace, social circle and public figures seriously – or may even consider them people who you rather not waste time listening too.

Above all it is only when you begin to see yourself as the CEO of your own corporation – will you begin to set about differentiating yourself from the crowd and even carving competitive advantage to get ahead of your peers – and this is where you have to make that paradigm shift if possible to even think as an individual and not just follow the crowd and be too concerned about being the one who sticks out like a nail.

You are after all your own corporation – the way you speak, treat others and whether you have to conviction, courage to be who you are, get up when you fall down etc etc etc. All this can be so many things, a few things or nothing… are the CEO….master of your destiny.”

Today I met with my tiny Singaporean community – during breakfast, a loud mouth who kept telling everyone on the table during breakfast – we should all exercise our critical thinking about what we all regularly read in the internet. As presumably there are so many lies, disinformation and misinformation etc etc online.

All in all, I happen to agree with this person. Infact, I agreed with him to such an extent that I even suggested we would do well to consider extending the same critical thinking skills to what we regularly read in the MSM. As presumably there are also so many lies, disinformation and misinformation etc etc in the MSM.

“I don’t believe for one moment. It’s possible to ask thinking folk to exercise caution, judgement and wisdom when it comes to reading material in the internet and to assume that they will not do the same when they read, see or hear reportage, opinions and comments that are regularly churned out by the MSM.

A philosophical question that is seldom ever discussed is, can repressive regimes who regularly engineer consent via the media really tolerate the whole idea of people who can think critically. Now think about this deeply…I reckon if you follow this train of thought to its logical end. You will soon discover that this cannot possibly serve the imperative of these bent governments in the long run.

As the same skill sets i.e (critical thinking skills) that they advocate for internet material. Can very easily be levelled on the MSM. And if that is the case, thinking folk can only get more disillusioned and disheartened as what is so often represented by the MSM and reality bears so very little resemblance to each other that it can only amplify the dissonance between theory and reality.

Look! Let be come to the point directly, instead of beating about the bush. Understand this! No government, least of all – a repressive govt’s who has no compunction with rolling out the world’s most repressive internet laws (without even the merest consultation and debate)  would ever want their citizens to think critically.

Ask yourself – cui bono? (who benefits?) As what if ordinary citizens manage to connect the dots….what if they ask, why is the PM talking about exams, housing and medical insurance when he should talk ONLY about jobs, jobs, jobs….what if they ask, where are we all heading too with this mindless chase to grow the economy at every cost and opportunity….what if they ask, who really stands to benefit from all this?

I hope you are now internally persuaded as to why no government can ever afford it’s citizens to think critically. I call this the paradox of thinking critically.”