The boyfriend from Hell – Alvin Tan

October 28, 2013

One should always exercise considerable care and attention on choosing a prospective life partner.

If you choose a foolish and reckless person to share the great journey of life with – then he or she is likely to mess up your life and those who you care and love you – and you will have to spend many painful years picking up the broken pieces.

Even then, it’s unlikely when you superglue it all back together – it will be as good as what it used to be.


“The most important decision that you will ever make in your life boils down to this one question: who will share the journey of life with you?

You see if you pick the wrong person then you’ll just buy into a whole barrel of grief. You only have one life, so it has to be the decision of all decisions. That’s really just another way of saying, you have to seek a balance between the heart and mind, love and the practical necessity of living.

Let me put it this way, if you pick a loser like me; then grief will be the color of your days. As men like me are exciting, but they are not reliable…not by half. If they make it – they can’t even tell you why! You know why don’t you? Because it was just probably pot luck or that they just wandered to a place called X marks the spot – dug a hole and hit pay dirt.

My point is I don’t even know whether I will be around in ten or fifteen years. Or whether I can still do what I do. For all you know – someone could pump me full of lead or I will end up a drunk and a bankrupt in somewhere down the long road of life.

I really don’t know. And that is the solemn truth – as men like me will always take incredible risk. If lady luck holds out, then we live to fight another day. If not, that’s it.

The type of man who you should ideally choose is the sort who is content to stay in one place. As they turn the wheel of life day in and day out; these may not be very exciting, interesting or even that good looking guys, but they’re also the type who would probably not cause you to lose sleep along with with getting high blood pressure – as since they can always be counted on, they will always be there for you Dotty and that’s what really matters in the journey of life.

Someone whose just there….someone who you can’t always count on….someone who you know will always come right through for you….no matter what the odds….and that’s what people who turn the wheel of life – day in and day out – do extremely well.

They’re always there. You never need to ever worry about him just taking off one day like a bird. Or that he’s planning to go somewhere to dig for gold in a place that you have not even heard about. Men who are accustomed to just staying in one place and turning the wheel of life, day in and day out, never feel the tug to suddenly take off – you don’t even need to wonder to yourself when he looks at a flock of birds heading south in the early morn, whether he’s wishing, he could just sprout a pair of wings and join them.

You don’t have to even deal with their mood swings and melancholy that comes from their inability to fit in – men who stay in one place and turn the wheel of life daily without uncomplaining. Don’t even see the point of running with the wolves. They just don’t – the worse you have to contend with is the idea that he’s secretly surfing porn from time to time or putting down an odd bet during the world cup season.

But the man who can hear the call of wild – should you be foolish to put all your chips with him – I have no doubt, they may stay for while (that’s because they all don’t know how strong that pull is) and I don’t doubt you may even find a sliver of happiness; but a day will come Dotty, when that man who you love with all your heart, will just stare out of the window and look enviously at those those birds that make a neat line to fly off in the September morn – like salmon struggling against the current to return to that place called home; whales beaching for no apparent reason or the capricious sea giving with one hand and taking with another – these things embody the spirit of the wanderer – you cannot rely on them for the long haul; as they will always do things that even they themselves don’t know why they do them.

If you invest in a wanderer – a day will come when they will just pick up and go; they don’t need any rhyme or reason; just as the sea can never help herself whenever she throws a tantrum from time to time; the moon affects her – so it’s the same with wanderers – they are the capricious type and you will always be at the mercy of their vagaries.

Wanderers are only good for the short haul; they make airports, bus terminals and places where sail boats berth interesting – they’re good for a cup of coffee; they’re even good when you stand beside them and watch the sun rise; but come a time; they will pick up and go.

But the guy who stays in one place and turns the wheel of life day in and day out; he is the one that any sensible woman should choose as a life partner; for one he doesn’t feel that pull or call of the wild; to him life is just an endless repetition; where everyday unfolds precisely as the last, the only thing that changes is the mundane stuff, like toothpaste thinning out or its time to get a haircut– it’s in the endless litany of repeating where you will always find the stayer to better investment than the wanderer in the long run; as where the former may seem to embody courage, excitement and everything that is worth living for – as he climbs mountains, rides his bike down a cliff and stares defiantly at the on coming storm in his tiny sail boat– let me tell you a secret; that’s not where real courage is to be found; as those antics (no matter how heart stopping they may all appear to be) all have a cut off point,

They all lack the horror of the litany of repetition – you can’t climb beyond the summit; ride further when the road runs out; that’s because wanderer can never bear out the long haul – that’s why the stayer will always be a better bet; he is a courageous man; who will see you through the long haul ; that’s why if you have to choose between a wanderer and the stayer, it’s a no brainer, go for the stayer; it’s a one second decision – as somewhere in the endless journey of life; filled with the litany of repeating where there is no prospect of even a place where it can all end the way you envision; you can always depend on the stayer to turn off the lights -you can grow old with such a man.

As for the wanderer; he’s just like one of those NTUC plastic bags that the wind catches and twirls as the thermals whips it high up – as it dances, pirrouttes and curls ever so charmingly; for a while, it’s poetry in motion as you stare out tranfixed from your office window – but never ever forget, it’s just garbage.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: