The Dao of being a nice guy

December 24, 2013


Being a Nice Guy, doesn’t mean you come in last all the time. Or that you’re always the poor sod who ends up with cancer of the wallet as everyone considers you easy meat and a push over. It also doesn’t mean you are easy to manipulate or take advantage of either. Or that you will just allow others to take potshots at you all the time like a sitting duck while turning the other cheek – that may well be other people’s version of what a nice guy is. But it is certainly not my understanding of what a nice guy stands for.

Being a Nice Guy simply means you know what is really important from the useless, vapid, pretentious and meaningless.

You have no time to get mad at the small stuff, as you see and think of the world in larger and broader terms beyond just me, me and me.

Mr nice guy is the man who always has the bigger picture in his mind – he can set aside his ego and pride for the common good and be perfectly comfortable in his own skin even when others gets all the credit. To him the bigger picture is all that matters….he’s not interested in the gossip or rumor mill….no time whatsoever.

That’s because Mr nice guy works very hard at being a very big hearted man. And despite living in the shadow of petty, evil and small hearted people and paying for mistakes he didn’t make, Mr Nice guy still holds on to the idea important things are always worth valuing, preserving and defending…that is why, he’s a nice guy.

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“Being a nice guy has nothing to do with being nice at all – it just means, you know what is important, pertinent and operative in life and you are not afraid to make that idea known to people.

Let me give you all an example. Not very long ago. I saw a storekeeper beating the shit out of his dog. I demanded to know from him, why are you whipping the poor defenseless animal? The man replied, ‘it is a useless dog. When burglars broke into my shop last night. He does not even bark!” 

I asked him, ‘did you do what was most important, pertinent and necessary to seal the relationship between master and servant?’ He called me a crazy man, but since I was dressed in my bush jacket, he softened up, apologized and asked me to elaborate further. I told him it is very clear to me the burglar must have made friends with his dog and gained his trust and this was because he was derelict in his job as a master of nourishing his servant the dog.

Before I left, I told him, ‘if you want to learn how to keep something then you would do well to understand this. The greatest thing in this world is to love and be loved in return.’ I told the man – feed the dog with your hand at every meal lovingly, do not cage it up, but allow it to lounge around and even believe this is it’s home and if you do just this, then you shall see that what I have shared with you is wisdom.

Three days when burglars tried to break into the man’s store again – the dog was able to alert his master. When the pudgy store owner saw me to recount this story, he told me, I am a very nice guy to share with him such wholesome wisdom.

Following that incident, I met a distraught woman who was searching for her runaway husband. Apparently her husband had taken off with another woman and left their village to settle where I turn the wheel of life.

She was accompanied by three gangsters – one of them a heavily tattooed man was her brother. They showed me a photograph of the man and woman – and asked me whether I know where they are hiding.

That same afternoon. I made enquiries and knocked on a door – a man who I recognized from the photograph appeared. I told him in a serious tone, men are looking to rearrange his face.

It seems you have runaway from your wife and kids with another woman. The man looked down. I told him plainly, this is a very serious crime in these parts – the man began pleading with me in the ancient ways. I told him to get up, looked him in the eye and asked him, what was the reason for his apparently irresponsible act – he said to me, I was not loved. I only want to be loved….

I told the man – he must provide for his children. This is after all the way of the old country and the laws of heaven and earth can never be circumvented. The man gave me his word. We shook hands.

The following day when I met the woman and the three goons again – even before I sat down, the heavily tattooed man told me gleefully, he had discovered the whereabouts of his dearly unfortunate brotherhood in law – and they planned to exact revenge. I told him to please reconsider as I would consider it a personal favor. I turned to the woman and told her that she should not be so vindictive and reminded her that heaven has eyes. She turned beet root red and accused me of being in league with a philanderer, fornicator and a good for nothing man.

I turned to her, narrowed my eyes and flared my nostrils and asked her, ‘ did you do what was most important, pertinent and necessary to seal the relationship between husband and wife?’

Her brother stood up and demanded an apology. I placed my cup of tea on a pair of chopsticks. The three goons turned white and began to shudder like frightened rabbits before a cobra. I turned to them and told them I would appreciate it, if they do me the courtesy of not making a scene – then I turned to the woman and con’t.

I told her under the laws of the old country, when a wife does not accord respect to her husband. She forfeits all her rights – but in this case, I went on to inform her, her husband will fulfill his obligations to give a part of his humble salary every month to their up keep. I went on to tell her, if I was her husband – I too would fuck around. In fact I went on to tell her, if someone put a skirt on a palm – I would gladly hump side A and side B.

Then I got up. Drank my tea and left. Before walking away I told them all. I am so happy that all of them were so patient, considerate and understanding to bring out the nice guy in me and that The greatest thing in this world and perhaps the whole universe – is to love and be loved in return.

This is the way politics is conducted in the kampung old country style…..

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