What makes a person truly beautiful and desirable

January 14, 2014

This morning, a very beautiful woman in a short dress sashayed over and sat on my table in the kopitiam. As I was happily gulping down and munching on my kopi O kauh and kaya bread, she slipped me her business card and smiled at me invitingly.

She sells insurance, it seems. I told her politely, I was already covered. She went on to suggest, she would make it worth my while. I asked her in what way? She was very coy about the matter and was only prepared to mention – it’s not convenient to elaborate in such a public setting. I suggested we continue the conversation in the privacy of my house on the hill.

When I sat down on my table expectantly – she eased herself on the table playfully and leaned across revealing her D cup fun bags (about the size of a $3 jumbo Nasi Lemak) – I went on to remind her…she had promised me and unforgettable deal which would more be worth my while. She told me, this was it….I leaned back into my rattan chair and exclaimed…Oh I see, you want me lift up your skirt, bend you down and fuck you? I went on to tell her, it was a tad early, but I am sure, I could accommodate her…providing.

She asked quizzically….’providing?’ I went on to ask her for her Rolex watch and her Samsung smartphone and a sum of $500. She got flustered and ask me why???? I told her in a business like fashion – I was definitely not getting a worthwhile deal out of this and I can only assume she expected me to role play to fulfill her sexual fantasy, consequently after punching my calculator a couple of times – I flashed her the figure and insisted this fee was hardly unreasonable for the pleasure of my company. I went osatisfaction higher charge would have to be levied on account of the unusual hour and given that I am called to perform on such short notice…..I went on further to ask, would she prefer it straight up standing up next to the table or the more expensive twenty point kamasutra nirvana chakra deluxe service in a supine position in my room which came with the obligatory flower bath and free Lux soap.

She called me a weirdo…I went on to insist that has not in my list of sexual repertoire, but I went on to suggest, if she could either paint my gate or cook for my dogs after satisfaction was rendered, I could consider accommodating such a strange request.

She went on to ask me whether I considered her attractive. I told her, not to be silly as I am a professional, after all does a ninja assassin bother whether the person he is going to snuff out is kind to people or planet. Geddit? She asked, why are you behaving so weird. I gave her a look of surprise and went on to insist again – she had lied to me about getting s worthwhile deal. She smiled weakly and said mischievously, you like it this way don’t you? I continued looking at her as if I didn’t quite understand while her expression turned slowly into a worried look as the idea slowly solidified somewhere in her empty head that I am dead serious – then she asked in a surprised tone – you mean I need to pay you?

I said of course lah…after all, it can’t possibly be the other way round. After all, I am the one who can run 20 km in thirty minutes flat, five percent body fat with Hong Kong actor good looks…..so since I would be doing 99.9% of the work, I went on to insist that would really have to be my fee for services rendered. Besides, it was early in the morning…

She wanted to leave. I told her if she opened that door, the two doberman dogs would rip her to shreds, as these are not casual pets…they are highly disciplined and well trained assassins. I pointed to the ramrod chair in the middle of the hall and told her that I would disappear for a while to make her a strong cup of coffee….when I returned….I would like to know, who sent her and what exactly is her mission for trying to infiltrate me….before I slipped into the kitchen….I told her satisfaction is guaranteed.


“The most beautiful organ in the human body has to be the brain – as only the brain can transform the mundane into a thing of extraordinary beauty with it’s largess of imagination, panache and wisdom.

That is why I will always hold to the controversial belief some people deserve to be poor, exploited and miserable. They deserve it as in many cases they have simply remained so terminally bovine, complacent and unimaginative about the whole business of life that they have squandered the greatest gift that nature has bestowed on them – their brain – neither do I have any sympathy for people who seem to do very little else everyday except fritter their mind on trivial pursuits. This is the same reason why I can never empathize with people who work for twenty over years doing the same job day after day like driving a train and when they suddenly lose their job – they are suddenly surprised that I don’t seem to share their loss. As to be quite honest with all of you, I simply cannot but feel they have brought this predicament ontu themselves. After all who was so terminally bovine for twenty over years that they were even prepared to do the same mindless job day after day that takes the same cerebral processing power to tie shoelaces? Why I wonder didn’t these people bother to improve their lot by reading broadly or for that matter taking an interest in something other than driving a train – if you say they are constrained by lack of education, then how does one supply an explanation for the thousands of millionaires who can’t even speak or write well.

The same holds true for women who think that they can just manipulate a man on the cheap to gain a shortcut in life – is it true to say that all men are susceptible to the temptations of the flesh? Yes, perhaps…but the difference lies only in the subtlety of degrees and it’s really a spectrum isn’t it – there lurks the danger – as at one end, no one disagrees, we have the man who can be taken in so completely by a ravishing beauty that he can even forget all of himself to slake his tryst that he would be easy meat – however, at the other end of the spectrum, you may have the man who will look on at all this with a practiced eye and may even feel an acute sense of being trespassed by women who would choose to be so brazen about seducing them – ‘how dare you insult me? How dare you possess the temerity to believe that you could even twirl a man like me around your finger without first bothering to prepare yourself with the study of Warcraft – I think it is this category of men who can be very cruel and heartless to such women…..very very cruel and heartless indeed.

As this is also precisely the sort of man who may harbour the politically incorrect belief some people deserve to be poor, miserable and lonely. And although polite society with it’s self effacing hypocrisy may still consider these men repulsive…it does not discount the reality…these men do exist and they are very real in every sense of the word and they should never be trifled with….”

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