Seeing RELATIONSHIPS as a farmer

Farming is very 直率, straight forward, clear cut and blunt. There is really no room for bullshitting and clever talk. If you really want to know whether a farmer is a master of his craft or just talking thru his straw hat – all that needs to be done is to pay a visit to his land and see for yourself whether his trees are producing heavy and sweet fruit.

As there is no such thing as accidental heavy and sweet fruit – It’s really like talking about snakes in Norway…the bloody thing doesn’t exist! Being in a position to produce heavy and sweet fruit is really just a function of doing the right things consistently with the right degree of commitment, care and love. That’s it! The end.

Some things in life will always been very simple and true…all the time.

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“Even amongst your circle of friends and colleagues it is not too difficult to make out two categories of people.

The first are always blaming others for their unhappy circumstances. You will find they will blame everyone and everything under the sun… their husbands, their bosses, their colleagues, their neighbours, their pet gold fish, global warming, melting ice caps etc etc and if they have nothing to put the blame on will…they will just manufacture their unabridged version of the truth…but observe very carefully.

You will notice one thing that is a truism with this erudite lot. They will ALL WITHOUT A SINGLE EXCEPTION never feel the need to look inwards and ask of themselves the most pertinent question: ‘why is it that I only seem to eat bitter fruit all the time?’ – these people are very sad. I call them vampires, as I have observed usually they have a very nervous disposition about them….they are never calm and composed so they will always bring out the worst in people. As since their minds are always all over the place like a tornado and in a perpetual state of turmoil….they are always distracted, unfocussed and diffusing their energy needlessly..often they will run here and there, do this and that, try this and that to search for the missing parts of their lives to make themselves whole and complete – one week, they may feel happiness is to be in a bottle of moisturising cream where the only active ingredient is water…next week they may run around like a spinning top to the next flavour of the month – on other days they may believe happiness is to be found by dedicating themselves to their new found hobbies, so they will buy this, do that like one of those characters who can never remain still in those silent comedy movies…but observe…. these people despite dedicating themselves to their many pursuits in their quest for happiness never ever seem to get closer to sweet and heavy fruit….as I said earlier, they are not so different from vampires. Did you know, Dracula can turn into a bat. And if you have ever been unfortunate enough to watch bats fly, they are indeed very nervous animals. My advise is if this is new to you, you best pop two Panadols before you go bat watching…they fly here and there and everywhere very erratically like some nervous creature…with their pants on fire dissipating their energy needlessly….is it a wonder they are always hungry. To me bats are the Proton saga of the skies…they are very painful to watch. As they always give me a headache.

As for the wise farmer. He is like the calm and stately eagle – the S class Mercedes of the skies, graceful in purpose and intent. Resting when he should be resting and searching purposely only when the right moment presents itself – optimal use of resources and opportunity. You will never find him jumping up and down behaving like one of those agitated and nervous creature.

As before one can even set about the business of producing heavy and sweet fruits, one must first be a very calm, focused and serious sort of man who knows what needs to be done on his land.

Neither does such a man allow his friends or other worldly distractions to interfere with his mission in life either. Never. If his friends fritter their lives away on idle chatter about football, TOTO, drinking and womanising, this man will never ever join them. Never. As he is first and foremost his own man….not a team player who craves the approval of others or a honorary member of the rah rah ‘you jump, I jump’ brigade…but someone who may not even have any hesitation in going the other way….doing that other thing….walking his own path….the approval of others is optional….not an ordinary farmer…but what did you really expect….did you really believe heavy and sweet fruits just comes about thru cheap talk!

So if others decide to diffuse their energy, time and money on mumbo jumbo by listening to charlatans – this man will rarely have time for such knaves and fools who can only distract him from his mission in life – and should they be foolish enough to come near him, they will know his wrath. Above all the farmer who is able to produce heavy and sweet fruit does not run around here and there diffusing his time and energy recklessly. He knows there are only X hours in a day, Y opportunities and Z threats, so he is always mindful of how and with who he spends his time. Above all the wise farmer knows how to love a thing well and to bring out it’s very best and this he does with a calm and happy heart….and since his trees are always nourished by his love, is it such a wonder such a man will always be able to enjoy heavy and sweet fruit.

When one sees relationships in the way a farmer dedicates himself to his land to produce heavy and sweet fruits – then it is very easy to understand why some people will always reap a bitter harvest with weak and broken relationships will they fly around like agitated bats searching….and searching and always never find peace, happiness and sweet repose.

While others who know how to bring out the best in themselves and those around them by just dedicating themselves to what is important and needs doing day by day, will always have very little problems with others loving, respecting and cherishing them.

Life is so democratic. What you put into a relationship is exactly what you will get back in return. No more or less. It doesn’t matter how high, low, intelligent, stupid, rich or poor you are….it doesn’t matter whether you’re a hawker who is trying to garner a cachet of loyal diners, a politician whose striving to be trusted by your constituency, an ISD officer who is out to save people and planet, nurse who aspires to be like Florence Nightingale or just a cookie cutter who hopes one day the world will be kind and open doors for you instead of slam it in your face….you will only get back what you are prepared to put into a relationship…nothing more or less…this is the golden rule of farming that every farmer knows by heart.’