My thoughts when the ‘rainy’ season comes……

I am two minded about it. The weather, that is. I know everyone believes the monsoon has finally come….evil has been beaten back…the serpents head has been crushed.

I don’t want to be a spoiler, so I do my part to blend in. I cheer like the others. Or pretend too. The best I can. But deep down. I know better. You see it’s very simple: the rains may have come, but the winds have yet to change, which means these rain clouds have been brought by South Westerly winds.

But the winds….they will change very soon. They will blow the other way….and when that happens… Will it continue to rain? That is really the question…the only question.

Or will another dry spell play right out again. Truth is I don’t know. No one knows. It’s like the bloody mystery of the missing plane. All one really has to work with is bits and pieces of scraps….nothing solid. So I worry.

Been waiting for the winds to change. Everyday just before the sun dies. I make my way to the edge of my lands and look out into the horizon to the West. I tell myself any time now. The winds will change and my fine feathered friends will make the treacherous flight across the Straits then….many will perish…I fear. The smog killing them slowly. But those who make it will find sanctuary in my bird house…as I have already made preparations for my fine feathered friends. Fly my friends. Fly hard and strong.

Every evening when the sun dies..I scan the horizon for my friends. But they do not come….something is very wrong…so very wrong.

I worry.

Meanwhile the coming of the wet season. If it’s real, compels me to confront the reality of sleeping indoors, yet again. I am not used to living in the confines of walls. Much prefer the openness of the fields – I spend so much time outdoors that it seems I am permeated by it’s mystical spirit. I much prefer it’s ways to the idea of barricading myself in some man made cave.

Only yesterday when I decided to go down to the village for dinner. One of the beer aunties told me I had won an air conditioner in a raffle. She took the winning coupon out from her bra and put it on my table. She looked pleased as if she was preparing to give me a blow job. But I told her that I had no need for such a ridiculous contraption and she could keep it instead.

Truth is…I have always mistrusted the easy and flabby life. I’ve seen too many businessmen corrode slowly away by excesses. Much prefer my military camp bed. I know it’s awkward, but I am so used to sleeping beneath the stars and with the dogs around me. I don’t mind the mosquitoes. Not at all. As for the mosquito coil, I find it’s a ritual that I’ve come to adore just before I turn in. So I am so used to this simple way of life.

Why would I need an air conditioner to change it all?

I just don’t understand.

On the social front. I try my best to get along with people. By this I mean, I make it a point not to disturb others. Or stand out like a sore thumb. For the most part, I just blend right in. Usually into the wall paper, but even then there is enough of me to make others uncomfortable – about three months ago. A group of businessmen tried to cheat me. Now it seems everyone is waiting for the other shoe to fall. They all think…..no…they believe, I am going to exact revenge. They just don’t know when I am going to do it.

So everyone goes around pretending that everything is fine like in a way a cracked mirror in a kopitiam just stays right there while most people learn to live with it….as best they can.

There is fear simply because I am a man who has a reputation…..that can’t be helped. Besides I have no interest in placating their fears. I just want to live my quiet life peacefully. But if I have to make enemies, that is not a problem to me. Not at all. What I can’t seem to understand for the life of me is why even try to take a bite out of me? I mean would you go right up to the cobra or one of my killer guard dogs and try your luck? You have to be stupid. And they’re stupid. Now they fear. But since it’s got absolutely nothing to do with me….let them continue to live in fear.

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