Managing conflict with toxic people

July 30, 2014

Toxic people usually bring out the worst in me. Probably you as well. At times they are just toxic without any malicious intent such as people who do not have the discipline to keep time, honor their words or fulfill their promise. As they are either so disorganized and scattered brain or simply don’t have the personal discipline to give you the priority you rightly deserve.

On other occasions toxic people can be down right malicious – that’s to say, they just need to find fault with you or relish seeing you experience a set back. For whatever reason. No one really knows. Not even them. I suspect. That is why they are called toxic people.

In life, it is not possible to completely avoid toxic people. If you’re a counter service personnel, taxi driver or someone who just wants to get task done on time without people letting you down when you need them most to come thru for you – you will know what I mean when I say, toxic people are not people who can be totally avoided.

The only way to deal effectively with a toxic person is to provision lots of contingency plans so that when they actually let you down or sabotage you – you are not left hanging high and dry and can very easily switch to a plan B. Or work under the assumption this toxic person can always be reliably depended to fuck you up, let you down or throw your plans out of synch – once you set a very accurate expectation when dealing with toxic people, then their poison can never affect you.

Hopefully lah.

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‘Some people in this world I will always associate with waiting. That is to say whenever I think about them. Happy thoughts never run thru the movie theater in my mind. It’s always a picture where I am anxious, pacing up and down and looking at my watch every five minutes….I am always waiting.

These people also don’t like to be with me as well – because I am never calm whenever I am with them and they all seem to know me as only a very angry and sarcastic fellow who seems to have always call them names and have a very foul temper.

It’s no fun for me or for them either, so we avoid each other and only interact whenever it’s necessary. Even then, it’s usually very stressful where I am never totally calm and they never expect things to turn out well either. Both sides suffer.

Then again there will always be some people who whenever I see them, fills me with happy thoughts. I always make it a point to wear my happy flower or Italian table cloth red shirt whenever I met them. As in my minds eye, I see someone who I genuinely want to spend time with, to sit down with have a beer, let my hair down and have a conversation where at the end of the day, I always look forward to seeing the world slightly differently from the way I have always seen it.

I guess what I am trying to say is as I grow older – I find that if I cannot be the best person that I can be on an occasion. Then it’s best for me to avoid any form of interaction with people who I know can always be relied on to bring out the worst me.’

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