The worlds dumbest gangster

December 11, 2014

This evening fifteen men appeared before my gate. When I asked them the nature of their business. A menacing man with short hair stepped out from the group and told me that he was here to offer to protection.

I told this man politely, though I was very thankful for his gracious offer…..but I need no protection from anyone….as I am very accustomed to living deep in the middle of nowhere.

The man laughed out loud and so did all his no neck companions. So I suggested a leisurely stroll around the plantation, while he explained to me the finer details of his protection agreement….so that I could perhaps consider.

As we walked the man began to tell me in a condescending tone that if I did not agree to pay him a monthly sum…then there would certainly be cause for regret – in his words….all sort of misfortunes will befall me. I explained to him at great lengths this is something that I will have to do everything in my power to avoid.

By this time, we had walked all the way to the edge of the river on my lands….the lowest section surrounded by high mounts – where a man can scream and it is virtually impossible for anyone to hear him.

That was when the gangster realized all his companions had mysteriously disappeared leaving only him and I.

I turned to him then and there. At the very moment of his horrifying realization. I could see fear scissoring thru his feeble heart as his composure began to melt before me. Then in a hard and implacable tone…..I told this two cent gangster….perhaps it is I who should offer him protection.

He agreed…of course.

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