I want you to take what I am about to say constructively….remember I am putting money in your pocket here. Here goes: people who are always running out of time and money. All have one thing in common – they don’t know how to cook!

Want a simple and nutritious breakfast – this is how it’s done.

Whip 3 eggs with a dash of salt / add 1/2 cup fresh milk/ 1 tablespoon butter.

Melt butter in pan. Add whipped eggs and milk. Now remember this. This is a cordon blue professional kitchen secret. YOU NEVER LEAVE SCRAMBLE EGGS TO COOK BY ITSELF. IT NEEDS TO BE CONSTANTLY STIRRED VIGOROUSLY UNDER MEDIUM TO HIGH HEAT WITH A WOODEN SPATULA.

Take it out before it gets too rubbery. It should be slightly runny. Dash of pepper. Serve with WASA crispbread and dollop of yogurt. If you don’t know what it is – you better learn to nom nom on it – this is the eight habit of highly effective people, they all chomp on WASA.

I eat this at least three times a week. Once you learn to cook for yourself – you will find not only will you have more time, you will be richer and most importantly you look and feel like a million bucks!

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Xiaxue vs SMRT

February 8, 2015

The pertinent question here is not who is right or wrong….rather cui bono? To me this is just a precursor – now ask yourself what is the goal of the internet brigade and all their proxy sites? What are they working towards? Who stands to be the beneficiary of their designs.

No da Vinci code there – the goal is to work towards online registration. To paraphrase to stamp out online anonymity by requiring posters to submit their full identification and particulars should they decide to post a comment online. Since by and large the singapore blogoland is quite self regulating THERE IS REALLY NO JUSTIFICATION to enact a slew of draconian laws to enable online registration.

This is where the internet brigade and their proxy sites come right in – they need to stir up shit….to create the illusion of demand to make possible the means of supply – in this crooked way when these North Korean laws come into effect – everyone who would have said ‘No!’ would already be mentally conditioned to regard it favorably. 101 of engineering consent.

I wrote about this about eight years….at that time no one believed me….now it’s all happening. So as you can see it’s no mystery to me…..we have always been at least 10 years ahead of the curve. Why do you think we shut down the IS?

People who are desperate will always resort to desperate measures to accomplish their goal and believe me most people who have been around in the internet can see right thru their nefarious designs like pane of glass…..like I said….no mystery there!

It is… what it is….

Something powerful happens when a person who’s not related to you — and therefore it’s someone who doesn’t have a blood bias and who is able to perceive you objectively — tells you, that he believes in you: when that happens, it’s like the release of a billion atomic suns….vaporizing all your fears, reservations and anxieties…..the only thing that remains thereafter is the indestructible conviction – you are not crazy to believe in yourself.

The rest you can just throw right out of the window and it would hardly make a molecule of difference to the end result…..as once you believe in yourself. Then nothing is impossible.

There is no need to complicate life – it’s really doesn’t get as simple as this.

Dress IQ

February 7, 2015

I have a lot of powerful enemies. They don’t want me to come up in this world. No they don’t. So they make life difficult for me in a multitude of ways. Think of me as a man whose constantly running thru a obstacle course…..that’s me. You name it, they have done it. Money is no object. Everything ranging from character assassination to trying to saw the floor boards underneath my feet.

There is so much negative propaganda tagged to me – some people in the cloistered plantation high society actually expect me to turn up driving a tractor wearing a gunny sack suit complete with a straw hat to a gala event.

That is where the wonder weapon of putting the best foot forward becomes the awesome power of shock and awe.

Instead I make a dazzling entrance in a metallic ash Maserati. Hair slicked back. Sporting a dark Zegna suit. Turtle neck. Sunglasses. All packaged in a lean 5% body fat Matador frame.

It takes me exactly 50 seconds to get into the cloistered power circle where I charm rich and powerful plantation ladies with my breadth of international experience.

By the time I make an exit….it’s all in the bag.

As for all my enemies….they have absolutely no idea what hit them….it’s like a sad rumble between a bunch of cavemen against a highly disciplined Roman legion. No chance in hell….they don’t even come close. That’s good because one aspect of this protracted war involves psychological warfare – and nothing is as effective as demoralizing your enemies.

People who are defeated should really cultivate the wisdom to bow out gracefully.

All in a days work lah.

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‘I am sure you’ve all heard this before,

“Appearances are irrelevant, only results matter.”

The problem with that statement is it ignores the palpable fact, we can’t help but be human – fact: the vast majority of humans will ALWAYS judge you by your appearance. They can’t help it – that’s how humans are hardwired….it’s a primal instinct.

Fact: we form opinions about people within the first 15 seconds of meeting them; we then spend the next five minutes trying to confirm our first impressions. This means even BEFORE you open your mouth you’ve been sized up, profiled, measured and pigeon holed.

So the goal is to sell yourself as a very interesting once in a life time experience from the word go. That is the goal standard. Don’t settle for anything less because if you do, your stocks are likely to plummet…next thing you know, you will be mixing with drunkards slugging it out in a back alley about whether Xiaxue is a real or peroxide blonde leprechaun….you will end up using cheap meaningless words like ‘rightsizing’ ‘better calibrate’ and cheapening yourself no end and people will despise and want to have nothing to do with you.

As you never ever once dedicated yourself to making yourself a once in a lifetime experience to others….so instead of the being the Savoy hotel…you end being the YMCA….instead of selling yourself as beluga caviar, you come across as a NTUC tin of Yeo hiap Seng curry. All because you bought willingly into the wrong software clothes don’t maketh a man. Now whose fault is that?

Treating the idea of being able to put your best foot forward as a science – is a very effective tool of empowerment – you can’t change the distance between your nose and your eyes….you can’t make yourself taller….but you can certainly change your wardrobe to be the best that you can. Mastering this skill set allows you cut thru the thicket of power and politics in high society like a samurai sword – you don’t want any resistance at that level of the game, it’s got to be aerodynamic, otherwise you’re just going to be overwhelmed by a whole lot of distractions leaving your execution messy and unfocused. That’s no good.

You’re no different from a cat burglar trying to break into a high security facility….time is against you…..you’re outgunned….outmanned….the only advantage that you have is the element of surprise. So you better make the best out of it…everything that can be optimized, must be at the very best that it can possibly be. It all needs to be well thought out as as coherent like a super duper reliable Rolex submariner – a tool….conceived with function in mind….in and out (and make sure you don’t forget to zip up your pants) like a secret agent.

Carry yourself like a no nonsense businessman and people will regard you like a no nonsense businessman.’

Top ten most expensive cities 2014

The rank move indicates how the city’s position has changed from 2013’s Worldwide Cost of Living study.

Country City Rank Rank movement
Singapore Singapore 1 5
France Paris 2 6
Norway Oslo 3 1
Switzerland Zurich 4 3
Australia Sydney 5 -2
Venezuela Caracas 6 3
Switzerland Geneva 6 4
Australia Melbourne 6 -2
Japan Tokyo 6 -5
Denmark Copenhagen 10 5

SOURCE: ECONOMIST INTELLIGENCE UNIT

Well the A team has brought us all to the very top again! Well done for making life that much harder for all of us who work abroad and have to regularly send back money.

Either way we lose. Either way the chips are just dead stacked against us!

There is a saying common to the inner circle of Salahah Arabic Oudh traders, ‘la mahal ma lok-dhar ma al kamhaol’ – that which is precious is always kept veiled. To paraphrase the real stuff is rarely displayed on the shelf and so often it’s secreted away from prying eyes.

The Salahah tribe are well known to all who live in the Sahara right down to the tip of Zanzibar in Africa. There they are known over there as the jangling people as their camel caravans are laden with so many perfume bottles….one can hear them coming 10 miles away. By and large they are a peaceful tribe. One of the few who ever need to carry the ubiquitous Lee Enfield 303 rifle. As they also double as the medicin sans frontier of the desert – Oudh is believed to be able to cure everything under the sun ranging from third stage cancer to chasing away melancholia and bad dreams. But now in the internet age, they have all morphed into high street merchants. Since I am a man who is well known to all the Oudh traders in the city as a man who has knowledge about the mysteries of trees – it’s is virtually impossible to cheat me. I can tell the real from the fake by just holding it to the light. So from time to time, I will appraise perfume. This is a closed community – not anyone can just walk in. They will never talk to strangers. One must be able to speak the language of the desert and know of things of things that can only come with familiarity associated with perfumery – elephant musk, peacock bones ground to dust, civet droppings at dusk…..

The Arabic term for the fragrant ebony-colored resin secreted in reaction to an invasive fungus by the heartwood of Aquilaria malaccensis, an Asian evergreen tree. In a process analogous to creating cultured pearls, Aquilaria trees on plantations from Thailand to Indonesia are artificially infected to produce the resin, also called aloeswood and agarwood. Yes….these are good, but they are hardly the best.

The gold standard is wild or virgin oudh it is not only exceedingly rare, but since prospecting for it requires one to brave tigers and brigands. The real stuff can easily cost tens of thousands of dollars for just teaspoon – but to be with one with this quality of Oudh is to be part of paradise – it will stay with one for hours, releasing a sweet, earthy aroma that evokes something sublime: the mysteries of the eternal green forest.

And so the man crouches and opens a hidden cabinet to reveal the real thing.

Yes this is usually how it is when a man knows a thing for what it truly is and not what others say it is – he can only be part of the truth.

Prospecting for land

February 6, 2015

Deciding whether to buy land is like deciding which girl to marry….one would do well to think about the matter very carefully.

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I am sure by now most of you who regularly read my blog have notice Potemkin village sites such as the Singaporedaily and five stars and the moon are hell bent on branding Tan Kian lian as a racist……that to me is hardly surprising especially when one considers how desperate will only resort to desperate means to achieve their goals…but what really surprises is how these super duper brainy ESP people who claim he is a racist go about drawing this conclusion.

Let’s take it step by step. Now If I tweeted ‘I am now in the planet of the apes’ just because I stepped into a bus filled with Africans. You would probably consider that a racist statement. Coming to think of it – so would I.

As in this case, I am equating Africans with primates. A lower life form.

But if I step into the same bus and say that I feel as if I am in Nigeria – how can that possibly be racist? As what is stated is observably accurate to paraphrase it’s a personal statement based on how I draw associations between my surroundings and my understanding of the known world – and to prove this point beyond a shadow of a doubt – if a Singaporean tourist stepped into a public bus during rush hour in either Lagos or Kampala in Africa – it would certainly be filled to the brim with Africans.

So if what TKL said is a racist statement.

Then how is it possible sobriquet terms of description such as little India and Chinatown are considered perfectly acceptable descriptions? Should these terms be banned? Do you mean to tell me, the URA is racist?

Perhaps the puppetmasters who are in charge of the internet brigade would do well to consider this little point that I have raised.

After all surely the last thing they want any of us netizens to feel when we all log into the glorious Singapore blogoland is to feel as if we are all suddenly in North Korea.

Now I wonder….was that a racist statement by any chance?

Aha…..That I shall leave to you my dear perceptive reader.

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‘Life is never so simple where a group of delusional people who are all out to engineer consent just lays railway tracks and I chug along happily to the next station like a chu chu train…..I am an individual….and I have every right to use my brain.’

The man was fond of public parks. He would usually visit the park all by himself early in the morning. Each time he went there, he felt as though he were crossing an invisible ocean of time – into another realm like a solitary spaceship slicing across a vast vacuum of time and space. It was as though he had mastered the art of impersonating a loaf of bread and leaving bits of himself behind like crumbs.

All this he did while sitting on a park bench. During those salutory moments of giving as much as himself to the atmosphere like a ball of camphor. He was able to obliterate his past life. Nothing remained. Nothing could. It had all been vaporized in a white furnace. He could no longer remember the rust colored hippos along the languorous Gambezi during summer which often came in his dreams. Neither could he remember the smell of napalm, screaming jets, burning flesh, and cries of fleeing villagers that so often filled his nightmares. As for the image of the Chinaman cocoa planter who once turned the wheel of life in Africa. Even that image of a man who wore flared ridding breeches and mirror polished boots resembled a faint sepia image from another age. Above all for as long as he could continue to shovel as much coal as he could muster into that white hot furnace somewhere in his mind. He could forget her…. and this, more than anything else was the only reason why the man came to the park every morning before dawn….to forget her…to throw that one memory into the cauldron of nothingness. For as long as the moment lasted. He could forget her. This always brought the man a measure of peace, a cavernous humming emptiness like some mysterious cave hermit’s go to, to renounce the world.

During those moments his mind ceased to exist, all things including color, touch and smell was reduced to perfect equanimity and it all no longer mattered. For since he did not even exist. He was able to forget her. And this was all he ever asked for in this new reincarnated life in Singapore….to simply forget her and to start all over again.

With these lingering thoughts flitting restlessly in his head. The zero man was suddenly filled by the awakening world – the first morning trains had begun to rumble in. It was time for him to make his way to the train station and join the rest of humanity to go to work as a production supervisor in chocolate factory in Boon Lay.

The Thirsty Wind

February 2, 2015

Observe carefully…the thirsty wind. I don’t mean just watch in the way you would with that usual air of casual indifference. Rather consider pressing the pause button somewhere in your head…allow every cell of your body to marinate in this wind like a sail….feel it curl around your body as it caresses you ever so gently….can you sense how thirsty it is. Now breathe…slowly…ever so slow …there…do you notice how the air is so dry this time of the year, it’s like inhaling pins and needles.

I bet you were not aware of all this…till now. Yes, that is the way with the thirsty wind…..it sneaks up on one like a thief.

Now watch…..watch the things around you….timber furniture splits unexpectedly these days be very careful….branches snap effortlessly this time of the year, be careful when you walk beneath my friends…cracks in pavements widen imperceptibly….as for the trees. They are beginning to shed their leaves….they’re turning brown. Becoming botak. No it’s not the heat….it’s not even the lack of rain….it’s the thirsty wind that blows this time of the year.

I bet you didn’t know all these things….till now of course.

You should really learn how to wear a keffiyeh…that’s the only defense against the thirsty wind.

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‘Someday I will teach you all how to wear a keffiyeh…either that or you could just as well spend a lot of your hard earned money on French moisturizing cream this time of the year. Only understand this! The only active ingredient in that jar of gunk happens to be water.

Nothing beats a keffiyeh against the thirsty wind….nothing.

No one really knows where the thirsty wind comes from. Caravaners who ply the treacherous Silk Road swear it originates from the Taklamakan Desert, also known as No-chur-Sakor by the uighurs. I much prefer how they describe the empire of the bones – bone drying desert. No it’s not the heat or lack of water that kills you. It’s the thirsty wind that blows from the Kunlun Mountains to the south and the Pamir Mountains and beyond possibly stretching all the way back to the Gobi Desert to the deepest reaches of the east.

A light gamcha or keffiyeh comes in handy this time of the year in the field. In North Africa camel caravans laden with salt cones that regularly transverse the navel of the Sahara only the Olmeki tribe refer to as the ‘Nagah’ wear tight pristine white keffiyeh’s as protection against the thirsty wind. During their languorous journey from the Tuareg Salt plains across the bone drying windswept Sahara to the salt bazaar in Samarra, they never take it off during the day – it’s taboo. I once learnt how to sip tea thru a keffiyeh…one wraps it just above the lip and by parting it slightly a slit of lips appear.

The bone drying wind…..

As for the ever wandering wadi Bedouin. They consider it an evil wind. So evil that there is no vocabulary in their language to describe the thirsty wind – it’s merely referenced by drawing the right helm of keffiyeh over one’s face and making a scolding expression followed by downward jabs with four fingers of the left hand. It’s desert parlance that predates Islam by at least two centuries going back all the way to the Sumerians of antiquity. Hence it’s not unusual to hear gunshots from their antique 303 renting out from time to time followed by singing across the infinity of the desert. They say it wards off evil spirits that the thirsty wind brings in it’s wake. No one knows where they come from as well – these malevolent spirits can take all forms and shapes. Sometimes it appears like a shimmering city of gold in the horizon….at other times it resembles the laughter of young girls. When coming across strangers in the desert one can never be too sure – it’s customary to open the breach of rifles and shift them to the left hand while approaching a Bedouin camp and to only unveil the shamagh with the right hand so that the tassels rest only on the right shoulder – doing so guarantees a warm welcome….as only living can do this.

The thirsty wind…..

When worn properly the keffiyeh or the gamcha can make a woman look mysterious…sophisticated and very beautiful – it’s all in the detailing. There is a lot of room for improvisation – one can wear it desert style or even as just a scarf to accentuate the neck line and for flat chested women it can give the illusion of full bodiness. However If just draped on like curtains one is likely to look like a frumpy ninja turtle.

The thirsty wind……it can be so many things to so many people.

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Cumin chili bean curry

February 1, 2015

I came out with this dish specifically for field conditions – it doesn’t use much fire wood or water and can keep for at least 2 days without any refrigeration. Hence it doesn’t use any coconut milk or any products that can go rancid.

It’s my own creation which is loosely based on Mongol field cooking originating from the warring period when the armies of Genghis Khan once traversed the Great Plains on their long ride back from India, hence the use of raisins, wild berries can also be added as well – a fusion of North Indian and Szechuan cuisine.

It’s very important to get the right chili bean paste for this dish – make sure it’s in chili oil. Just go for anything that looks spicy dark instead of just boiled. You shouldn’t be able to make out the beans at all.

This dish is five chili good to strengthen the lungs, drive out general lethargy and if you suffer from cold feet and hands it will improve blood circulation. If you suffer from irritable bowel syndrome it is a proven cure – as the mix of spices are a form of Aruyedic medicine designed specifically to cure poor digestion. It is a complete meal. No side dishes are necessary.

2 big white onions
4 garlic pods thinly sliced not 4 cloves!
1 chicken cut into pieces
4 tablsp olive oil

After browning onions and garlic add chicken. Cook for 15 min under medium flame. Sprinkle the following using a small imageteaspoon.

1 tsp cardamom powder
1 tsp coriander powder
2 tsp cumin powder
2 tsp meat curry powder
2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp cinnamon powder
2 tsp ground black pepper

4 cardamom pods
2 stick cinnamon
3 star anise

2 tsp cumin seeds

Continue to fry over turning the chicken in medium heat for another 10 min. You will find the spices will forces the water to drain out from the chicken. That’s the sign to add the following.

3 sliced tomatoes
Section of Parmesan or any sharp flavored cheese about 1 1/2 inch very thinly sliced and evenly distributed into dish.
3 tablespoon of raisins.
4 tsp of chili bean sauce (if u want more can add more. But I much prefer it understated. Just a hint.
2 sliced potatoes.
Half a packet of Maggi curry instant noodle flavoring dissolve in 1/2 cup of water. (This is the only amount of water added)

Stir all this thoroughly into the dish. Add salt to taste.

Lower flame to small. Do not cover chicken. Allow to cook slowly for 60 min. Make sure to stir and turn chicken pieces from time to time to avoid pan burning.

Serve with rice. Serves about 6.