If you don’t like how things are done in a country….

Then get on your bike and go elsewhere. Never do stupid things like try to change the system. That’s only possible if you don’t have power crazy psychopaths holding on to the reins of power. If you do that. You will certainly end up a bitter, frustrated and broken man.

Just go and never look back. Work hard to make something meaningful out of your life in that host country.

Living well is the best revenge.

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‘When a man goes to another country to seek his fortune, to better his lot or create a better tomorrow for himself and his loved one’s. It’s not so different from an acrimonious parting with his first wife. No matter how you choose to look at it, it will always be a gut wrenching bitter sweet affair.

In the beginning when this man turns the wheel of life in another country. He will often think about his first wife who once rebuked him – you are not good enough for me! You are a lousy man! You can’t even hack it as a bread winner!

These are cruel words that can make any man feel very sad and small. They are very poisonous words that can cut and leave a gaping wound. And if a man is not strong enough, these are words can even break him in half like twig.

But since this man still loves his first wife even though she’s indifferent to him. He cannot help himself even when he is in a foreign land. Such is the pull of the familiar. So from time to time he will seek out the company of only those from his own country and met them regularly for dinner and drinks to remiscent about his happier days.

But given time. This man who once loved his first wife with all his heart will at some point experience a one in a life time moment of epiphany. A change of heart and progressively grow fonder of his second wife – his host country.

From time to time, he would look at this strange foreign woman and shake his head and lament. You are certainly not as polished as my first wife….you lack finesse and your ways may not even be as endearing when compared to her, as you are so backward and ignorant…then sensing words are too sharp. The man will smile and say, nonetheless there is certainly a charm about you that takes my heart away like a cloud on a windy day.

This is why from time to time – it’s not uncommon to come across very high quality men going out with fat and ugly women. When do not understand. Because what binds them together is their share history – hence, it will always be a mystery and contradiction.

As this man spends more time with this foreign woman. He will begin to reflect on the many milestones of his life. He may recount to himself in the depths of silence, when I first came here. I was not so different from a shipwrecked soul. I was so broken. Yet you nourished me with sustenance, clothed me, loved me despite my apparent lack and when I stood against incredible odds. You were always there encouraging me and staving off fear. You stood by me thick and thin….so even if you are a bit round, look like a bear, bad tempered and throw plates and kick up a fuss from time to time……I will still love you in my own way.

This is especially true of farmers. No farmer will ever curse Mother Nature. As she is the venerated mother – the madonna. The provider, nourisher and purveyor of all goodness on this earth. Not even if from time to time, she behaves like a bad tempered siaow charbor and destroy crops and unleashes floods. The farmer will always find 1,001 reasons to look beyond her misdeeds……perhaps he will say to himself, she can’t help herself, the moon affects her….but she is still a fine woman.

So when one day someone threatens to shame this foreign woman. Do not be surprised if this man who once looked at down on her, comes out wielding a parang and is prepared to defend her good name with his life.

This is how a man….any man….can experience a change of heart.

People who like to use broad sweeping statements like, ‘no one owes you a living,’ ‘life is not fair.’ ‘Don’t have an entitlement mentality’ ‘if others can do it, why can’t you!’ Would do well to soften their tone, least they end suffering the fate of the forgotten first wife.

Above all they should be mindful not to use their mouths like sharp knives.’