Striving to make the SELF disappear to reveal the YOU

June 23, 2015

Last week while having breakfast in the village kopitiam. A burly man leaned over my table menacingly and demanded to know in a loud tone, why I was making eyes at his two metric ton internal beauty wife. My first reaction was to teach this insolent fuck a lesson – to put him in his place.

Somewhere in my head. I could hear my enraged ego shouting, ‘how dare you speak to a landowner in such disrespectful tone! Do you not know who I am?’

It would have been easy. Very easy indeed. To put this hot head in his place!

I could tell though he was large and seemingly well build. He was not schooled in the art of war. He was standing with his right foot forward and his chest was squarely faced towards me. A mistake common to novice street fighters. As it would require him to shuffle his right foot back if he wanted to throw a punch. Neither did he notice how I had secreted a chopstick into my inner wrist….waiting to lunge it into the soft space between his collarbone and sternum.

I was ready… ready that I even played it all out in my head a few times to make very sure everything was perfect.

The before, during and after was so very clear to me. How when he closed in. I would extend my left palm and check his right shoulder forcing his body to rotate ever so slightly to expose the kill zone allowing me to plunge the chopstick like a dagger into his neck in one decisive strike. I could see it all unfolding with uncanny precision and clarity.

But for some curious reason. I apologized profusely to this man instead and told him in the humblest tone that I did not mean any disrespect. I was merely admiring his good fortune for having such a beautiful wife, as I too wished that heaven would smile on me in the same manner one day.

When I recounted this. The village dunce, exclaimed in with great fanfare banging on an empty biscuit tin like a drum.

‘It is so true….it is so true! Everyone in the village knows only to well. The man who lives on the hill all by himself has no wife. He only has that fierce black dog to keep him warm during the cold nights. But even if he decides to put lipstick and dress up such an ugly animal in a nightie, it will never be as huggable as your beautiful wife.’

Everyone in the kopitiam laughed and soon the angry man laughed as well.

I laughed too. After all what else can I do…..when the self doesn’t even exist at all?


‘When we invest too much of ourselves in the ‘self.’ That is when we will be transformed into a thin skinned creature of perpetual suffering. Who takes offense easily and feels slighted at the merest provocation. We are never at rest. We are always worked up and angry with the world.

That is because the self is none other than the outer personification of our ego – the ultimate false God! When we are accustomed to seeing the world only thru the prism of the delusion of the self aggrandizing ego, it is impossible to separate unpleasant people, events and circumstances from coloring our mood.

But when we make a conscious effort to separate ourselves from the self.

Then it becomes very easy to depersonalize ourselves from feeling insulted, slighted and hurt. It is very easy to remain objective enabling us to see the world for what it is and not what our ego says, it is.

By the mere act of relegating ourselves to the role of the silent witness of the ‘self’ – we are able to bear witness to how ridiculous, childish and impulsive our own thought processes are. We can begin to audit our thought processes.

By just the mere act of bearing witness to the self – in the way, we are able to imagine stepping out from our skin and watching ourselves. By not interfering not even judging, because the moment you judge – the magic spell is broken. The very moment you say “this is what I like, this is what I don’t like,” you have already jumped right back in with two feet into the ‘self.’ Thereby allowing your ego to take over your mind again.

I will not lie to you. It takes considerable effort, study and constant practice to be able to step outside your own skin and bear witness to the ‘self.’

But once you are able to accomplish this remarkable feat of regularly stepping out of your own skin to bear witness to your over inflated ego and tendency to embellish the true to make yourself right all the time – many of the negative wave lengths that used to haunt you – your inferiority complex, insecurities, feelings of being slighted and marginalized, false pride and arrogance will begin disappearing right before you. As very slowly that which is the ‘self.’ Your ego, will begin to disappear completely. Till only the real you remains.

Research and study this well when dealing with people who are thin skinned, take insults fast, bad tempered and sharp tongued. Never share this secret knowledge with evil people. As it can be weaponized to make their minds strong like a diamond – if you do this, they will have the power to see into your mind and control you by denying you the element of surprise

In business beware of men who have a tendency to brush off slights and insults. Be even more mindful of a dangerous category of men who like to make self depreciating jokes about themselves. As in all probability they have attained the highest acme of warcraft and are none other than the most accomplished practitioners of this black art.

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