Life and Death and to dare to love

July 16, 2015

The entire litter is lost. Complications associated with birth. I need to go in and drain out the infected teet, before she slips into shock. It all happened in a blink of an eye…I am not prepared….I don’t even have the right tools to perform the surgery. But this is as good as it gets…we are too far from civilisation…she wouldn’t be able to survive the long journey to the vet…there is no other way.

I got to go in now! I cannot delay.

I’ve fashioned a primitive pump out of a toy squirt gun to drain the infected blood and puss. That’s as good as it gets….her chances are slim. But I have to try to save her.

Words can never explain how close I am to my dogs. I often tell myself, hold back….or you will be terribly hurt. But I cannot help but love them with all my heart. As they are the only real friends I have in this harsh and lonely moonscape….there are times when it is so painful to be part of love….so very painful that it is indescribable how it tears me up into a million pieces.

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‘Real love is nothing like what those bent pastors in cult churches like to preach about…where it’s beautiful 24/7 and your heart is in cloud nine while you flit around blissfully like some narcotic saturated butterfly. Neither is it like old leather where it gets easier with the chastening passage of time.

When you make a commitment to love. You automatically run the risk of getting hurt. The blessing comes with the curse….and that if you must know is the very reason why most people prefer to live without love. Or should they decide to do so…usually they hold back so much of themselves that they up settling for some watered down version of what they prefer to believe as ‘love.’

That is why I believed only the strong and courageous can love well. The weak willed cannot love…..it’s impossible.

As it is only when one loves and is loved in return that nothing becomes impossible.

You will go the distance…you will…you don’t need that fellow who can walk on water. He’s optional lah. All you need is love. It doesn’t even matter how slim the odds. Or whether you’re down to your last clip in a fire fight…or even if you end up in the ICU or a coffin on an account of few cheap pirates who are out to scare you off your land…with love on your side – you will prevail….as love is the miracle life force.

With love on your side. You are good to go right on and on like one of those mythical perpetual motion machines..because true love is the power of a thousand suns right in the palm of your hands and much more….you can search it out in the eyes of mothers who love their children….they don’t care about what the world thinks. You cannot touch them.

Love can even search out a way even where none exist….it can reach out into the depths of darkness and catch you before you fall! And even should you be so unlucky and fall, then it takes uncommon courage to pick yourself up again and shake off cynicism and fear only to say to youtself, ‘maybe I’ve get lucky next time….maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much the next time.’

It is a truly wondrous life force and to be in its embrace is to be incredibly blessed.

No…love is definitely not a game for the weak, faint hearted and sentimental. It is not for the plastic man. Only the very strong can play this game well. As to win they must be prepared to bear the unbearable!’

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