The fully matured man

July 23, 2015

I am often asked.

What is the one defining characteristic of a fully matured man or woman?

And on practically every single occasion my answer has remained resolutely the same.

Someone who is able to trust him or herself completely and simply be comfortable in his or her own skin.

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‘To be comfortable in your own skin does not mean you are so detached from the affairs of the world that you don’t even feel the need to improve your lot. Or that you are so tuned or zoned out that you are not even aware that volcanoes as smoldering in Indonesia or that the price of coffee beans are going to spike because of El Niño.

That is not what being comfortable in your own skin means. Neither does it mean you are so removed from the world. You don’t even give two hoots about how your words and actions may affect others either! One reason why many people feel guilt ridden about striving to be comfortable in their own skin is because the priest has done his job of labeling this as a sort of arrogance…pride and self centerness. For the priest, his position if you care to notice is, you can do nothing by yourself…all the power comes outside you!

For the priest, he looks OUTSIDE for empowerment all the time….never does it ever come from deep within, no even so much as once. Because if it did, he would be redundant!

No! Being comfortable in your skin is not a selfish self centered state of mind…it is the complete opposite. It is to be fully engaged, proactive and super conscious about what should take priority and command your attention instead of being embroiled in mumbo jumbo!

As it is simply a state of mind where you able to prioritize what is truly important and to discard that which is false and trivial.

That is all it means and if you can do this continuously, then what remains is the final you. May sound easy but it is not! Because if you look around you, everyone is out to plant a flag in your head! Switch on the TV and someone somewhere is telling you, you need this! This will make your pimples disappear and Prince Charming will turn up shortly. That will make you a happier, healthier and more desirable person. Doesn’t matter if sane people never go around in the streets wearing Calvin Klein briefs. Or that apparel have nothing whatsoever to do with the size of your dick or six pack. In the world of those who are trying to sell you the life of milk and honey….everything and anything is possible.

That is why if you look around. That is precisely what the vast majority of humanity seems to be doing. Often you find them chasing after things mindlessly and often for no other reason except some fuzzy idea that if they can somehow get hold of that thing, be it love…job promotion…car…scholarship…membership into a prestigious golf club…then, they will be accepted…respected…loved and life will get better.

However very often even after they manage to successfully get these things, acceptance….respect and love remains all too distant and elusive.

So they flit around like a restless bumble bee going from one flower to another. They are always in motion. Always running out of time. Always doing this or that…. Always trying to be someone else…all because they want their life to come together. They queue for hours in line to listen to a con man pastor from a cult church, tell them to turn left, right, stand up, sit down along with what is it right or wrong…all because they deeply yearn to be accepted….respected and loved.

They think that imported hello kitty bible cover is going to change their life. It’s a thing that makes them feel hip and in the moment. But as time passes and they realize, they are no where near the comfort zone of being accepted….respected and loved. Then they will go to something else and marinate all themselves into it all over again. But again it doesn’t come around.

It is only when a man or woman begins to still the mind and begin to seek acceptance…respect and love from deep within and not from external sources…that he or she will begin to realize this is the beginning of being a truly matured person.

That is to say this reincarnated person will suddenly be filled with the wisdom in every cell in his or her body….nobody can reject me, if I accept myself….nobody can disrespect me, if I respect myself first and foremost…and nobody can ever make me an exile of love….if I love myself unconditionally.

That is what it means when a person is comfortable in his or her own skin.

It is a very confident and self assured state of mind that can only come from accepting, respecting and loving oneself completely and totally.’

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