Pulau Ubin during a full moon

November 4, 2015

As Miss D laid down on the deck of the sail boat and stared vacantly at the full moon. She wondered to herself why it didn’t surprise her that Mr Koreana owned a boat. He didn’t even mention it. It wasn’t the luxurious sort that came with a plasma TV or even air con – like Mr Koreana it was simple…basic…a tool. The sort where if you wanted to wash your hands in the tiny sink below deck, you had to step on a rubbery ball to pump the water out. The sort where the table slides to the side and opens up to make a single bed.

She turned to watch him at the otherside of the boat. He was unfurling the sail and turning a winch like device that made a ratcheting sound while pulling on the ropes. His hands moved surely like he had done it a thousand times before – that was when Miss D was struck by a rare moment of epiphany. How strange it is when the Big Bang event in one’s life happens, it’s simply just another way of seeing things. Isn’t that a strange! She wondered to herself while screwing up her lips. That absolutely nothing has really changed at all, only that one sees the world slightly differently from the way one has always seen it. Nothing has changed. Yet nothing is the same again.

Somewhere within the gyre of this one realization that one suddenly now sees the world differently as a consequence of having undertaken a perceptive shift that has the power to change everything forever…completely…absolutely.

That it even has to the will of force to obliterate all one’s fears and render only this one sensation of feeling alive and being able to see things realer than ever before.

Unlike other couples they didn’t need to speak. Words would have only sullied the unalloyed moment of tranquility. Not even when Mr Koreana edged to her side and slipped his arms underneath the nape of her neck that brought her to lie down on his chest while they both stared at the full moon. All Miss D could do was bask in the new found moonbeam of seeing the world slightly differently from the way she had always seen the world – the muffled whisper of waves being gently ploughed by the prow of the boat that rose ever so slightly up and down like a rocking chair, the sensation of the forward glide and the cool touch of the wind against one’s face, with all these thoughts swirling in her head. Miss D wondered perhaps this was the reason why she had suddenly lost her resolve to ask Mr Koreana more about his other life in South America…how many people did you kill?….are you a wanted man?….are you on the run? Suddenly all those questions that she had clutched on so tightly that evening when she first stepped on his boat, began to fall into the oblivion of the sea. Truth was Miss D couldn’t care. It was as if the rare moment of epiphany she had experienced earlier had impelled all of her to yet another direction and she was content to go for the ride to wherever it might lead her for better of worse. Maybe she realized the futility of her questions. As even if Mr Koreana had told her, he killed…he’s wanted and on the run…she would still stay beside him. When Miss D asked of herself how could her resolve to confront him lose all of it’s momentum so suddenly? Nothing emerged. Then slowly like a swell, a thought began to bubble and slowly surface…..maybe this is how it really feels like when newly minted Christians talk wide eyed about the love of their father in heaven for the very first time or perhaps…..just perhaps… this is how it feels like to love and be loved in return for the very first time….all that exist is the nothingness of the moment when she was entwined in Mr Koreana’s arms.

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