Sorry is worthless…..make it right!

November 29, 2015

When you commit a wrong to another. Follow it up with firm affirmative action. Make a genuine offer within a reasonable span of time for restitution. You need not say, sorry. That is optional. After all you must understand, to very serious people, sorry alone is a worthless and useless thing. It has zero utility.

For example if you are guilty of trying to cheat someone in a land deal. Then offer that person an equivalent piece of land at fair price and forfeit or pay out of your own pocket for the brokerage commission as a sign that you are genuinely remorseful and have taken all steps to mend the broken fellowship.

IF YOU HAVE NOT DONE THESE THINGS. THEN YOU ARE NOT IN A POSITION TO SAY THE OTHER SIDE IS SMALL HEARTED OR UNWILLING TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON.

In reality, the other aide has every right to rebuff your apology as it lacks the essential component of restitution.

Only after doing all this and when your peace offer is rejected can you say all of the above.

This is the ONLY way serious and mature people go about the business of righting wrongs. There is no other way, but this one way.

Only children and women say sorry and expect to be forgiven. But you must also understand, that is why people don’t take them seriously.

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‘One day when I was walking around my lands. I caught a farmer red handed stealing durians from my orchard. When I confronted this fellow. He smiled and said, sorry. So the following day I visited his newly imported Vietnamese wife he recently bought and when some villagers told him, they had seen me playing around with her fun bags, this fellow came up to me huffing and puffing demanding to know whether it was true. Naturally, I smiled and said even if it’s true….. sorry lah! But he was still very angry. That was when I drew his attention to the obvious by mentioning – now you understand how worthless that word is to me and also you as well – I then asked of this man would he like me to visit his new wife more often? He said, there will be trouble if you do that. I went on to point out to this man, yes. I imagine there would be some trouble, but I am sure that magic fix all word sorry followed by a smile can always be reliably entrusted to find a way to make things better, don’t you think so? He said no. While recounting all this. I motioned to his smiling brand new wife to come over and sit on my lap while I bounced her up and down while teaching her to chant sorry again and again. Through it all my expression was hard and stern as I meant to teach this man a very important life lesson – somewhere in all this, the farmer lowered his head and offered ten durians for every single one he had stolen from me for the whole season. He never used that word again. Neither did I have any cause to use it either…that I imagine says a lot about what I really think about the word sorry.’

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