Christmas dinner

December 11, 2015

Christmas starts earlier for me than everyone else I know. As I work during Christmas. In the plantation it’s just another working day. Since I am in the city, I decided to give myself a Christmas treat..rabbit marinated in young ginger, bamboo shoots and sesame oil lashed with onion rings.

My ultra rich city neighbors who are hermetically sealed from everyday life in their leafy make belief enclave of Shangrila are all worked up looking high and low for the rabbit raider. A reward of $10,000 has been posted for furher information. My rich neighbors who probably have too much time than they probably know what to do have even pooled together to hire an ex detective with a giant moustache to attempt to apprehend the fiend. This morning when I was interviewed – I suggested in a rather imperial tone of a landowner, they best direct their investigations into the labyrinth of underground long kang as I told them, ‘I am convinced I can’t be human…it’s probably a giant python with an acquired taste for rare imported Ukrainian rabbits. They all gulped looked at each other and wondered who is going to crawl down the tunnels. I offered them a $1.99 torchlight. Thereafter I told them brusquely, I expect you all to do your duty to the best of your ability and promptly left.

Since I will be retuning to the kampung tomorrow. I have every reason to believe no one is ever going to apprehend the mysterious nocturnal rabbit fiend. Whoever it is. If he’s human – he’s definitely a professional serial cat burglar with a penchant for living a closeted double life which involves scaling across electrified fences, evading armed Gurkhas along with being able to disable state of the art alarm systems and pick locks. Not to mention being able to render killer man eating guard dogs docile….so from this I have every logical reason to discount a human element in this crime. This will probably go down into urban legend as one of those Jack the Ripper mysteries.

But all is not lost. I’ve heard recently the super duper rich parents of this distraught girl has ordered a new consignment of long eared Ukrainian rabbits to replace the lost one’s.

How fortunate……how very fortunate.

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