Be respectful of your and other people’s rhythm of life

January 8, 2016

My next door neighbor in the city marvels at the seeming effortlessness in which I am able to grow flowers and plants.

Most of the time when she chances on me, she will ask – why can’t I seem to grow flowers as well as you? She goes on to add rather regretfully. It’s not as if I don’t water them twice a day diligently. I never miss a day. If it doesn’t rain for two consecutive days. I even water them three times, as recommended since it’s terribly hot these days – even feed them fertilizer twice a week according to the recommended dosage, even go thru the bother of making sure the pots are not water logged every other day so that their roots don’t rot. But they always seem to die on me….while you hardly seem to do anything at all and your flowers and plants are all bursting with life…why?

That was when I said something to the effect….yes, that could well be why – they can really only die….how terribly sad.


‘Everything in this world is infused with a natural rhythm…for example, it takes nine months for a fetus to grow into a baby….it takes three years for a palm to bear fruit and so on and so forth.

You can’t speed it up…lack for a better word, the process can’t be rushed! It is what it is.

Call it what you will…a seasonal tide of time…the natural cycle….a way even. It matters little what you call it. My point is everything in this world has a natural rhythm that needs to be respected. If you don’t respect it – then instead of going with the grain, it could be said, you are never going to bring best out of it.

For instance if you want to grow healthy plants – respect their natural rhythm – after potting them…don’t fuss over them like a mother hen…don’t even touch them if possible…with plants…a little goes a very long way, that’s the rule of thumb.

Let nature do her thing. She’s the expert. Learn to delegate. But if you try to speed or help it along by doing either this or that or whatever, then nine out of ten, it will probably never turn out the way you imagine it to be….this is why plants die along with supplying a perfectly sound explanation as to why weeds will always continue to proliferate. No one if you bother to notice cares for the latter.

It’s the same with people as well. We are all born with an innate rhythm. For some people that rhythm beats faster than others. As for other people, it may be set at a slower pace. Some people bloom early, others take their time about it, but bloom they will, everyone has his or her natural speed and cadence.

Screw that rhythm up and it’s like two dancers out of synch stepping on each other’s toes. That can’t be fun at all.

On other occasions when the natural rhythm is turned upside down on it’s head like how the Americans and Australians once rounded up all the indigenous tribes and put them all into reservations….guess what? They all died like flies despite access to modern amenities and healthcare. Or became alcoholics en masse. That’s what invariably happens when the natural rhythm of a tribe is thrown out of synch with the natural order of their world and forced into alien drum beat.

For example. I am no good at multi tasking. As to be really good at what I do often takes considerable time for me to get into the grove – so if I am forced to work in an environment where my attention span keeps having to switch from this to that or some thing else – this can only diffuse my energy, destroy my attention span and throw off my focus…it’s no good for me!

That’s why I never make on the spot commitments…you will be able to get a definite yes or no from me on the spot. Never. As I am always mindful of my rhythm and much prefer to mull over it.

The problem as I see it is almost everything in the twenty-first century seems to be going in the opposite direction of where I much prefer to go.

I am not saying I am anti multi tasking per se, I happen to believe it’s a great idea to swish mouthwash and wash your clothes at the same time when you’re in the toilet…only when it comes to certain things like brain surgery, landing a commercial jetliner manually or perusing the details of a multi million dollar deal – all that requires focus and all your attention and it’s best to do one thing at a time and to get it right the first time.

There was a time not so very long ago, when I blamed myself for this what I thought was a lack. I’m too slow-witted, slow to evolve, unable to get into the program. But when I look around me, all the multitaskers I know – don’t seem to make very good decisions….the quality of their work is at best mediocre. At first glance, they may look efficient as they seem to get a lot done, but when you go thru their work, you will often find its so shoddy they probably need to spend extra time reworking it. The irony is they all end up spending more time old cho cho train me.

That’s why whenever I have to collaborate with others – I always spend sometime observing their natural rhythm first. As a rule of thumb, I do nothing except observe. I never just dive into the process as I am always mindful this will only cause grief for myself and others. Neither do I breathe down their neck and micro manage them – if possible, I leave people alone to do their thing. At their own speed and it’s only when they are comfortable that’s when I will step in to supply the directional and instructional inputs.

I reckon it’s the same with people as well. If you want to get along and bring out the best people. You need to first take the time to observe their natural rhythm and if possible go along with it – if you’re used to doing things supersonic fast and furious, slow down. If you’re the slow coach type like moir, speed up a bit so that you don’t fall too far behind – it’s not so different from ball room dancing I reckon…like I said it’s no fun when the rhythm is all out….it’s just bloody painful.’

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