Why do you expect everyone to be like you?

January 11, 2016

Yesterday in the kopitiam (village eatery) I overheard a knot of villagers complaining about a man…he is so different….he seems to be in his own world…he does not seem to care very much for our ways…neither does he seem to respect us…otherwise why would he choose to be so different.

When one of them asked me for my opinion – I asked of them…tell me how wise is it to expect everyone to be like you?

Now consider this! If you can accept no two things in this world are alike even if they SHOULD be alike – like two dogs of the same breed who may have completely different temperaments, two trees of the same strain where one blooms earlier and the other latter, two siblings from the same parent, where one is an extrovert and the other withdrawn, two cups of coffee prepared by the same brewer where one cup is more powerful than the other, two servings of chicken rice from the same hawker and so on and so forth…why then do you all have so much difficulty in accepting the idea, no two persons can ever be the same even if they SHOULD be the same?

And even should you all encounter difficulties in coming to terms with why he is the way he is – why can’t all of you let him be….after all, the world is so big and if he is content to remain in his corner of the world being the way he is and not bothering anyone of you – why do you all want to find fault with him?


‘When we ask ourselves why do we find it so difficult to come to terms with people who may seem different from us – it is simply because HOW, we make sense of the world is essentially determined by our scripting and conditioning by society.

You are not accustomed to the strong smell of spices, so when you smell curry when you are walking along the void deck, it comes across as poison gas to you! You have never ever used coconut oil to moisturize your body, so when you come across someone who uses it regularly in the MRT, again it’s like poison gas to you! You have never eaten food without cutlery cross legged on the pavement – so when you see others doing so…you say they are uncivilized.

My point is it is NOT you who really thinks and believes all these things! If you believe it is really YOU, then please stop reading this now! I have to insist and please go somewhere else….I must insist….please….I mean no disrespect…as if you actually believe that is really YOU, then you have scientific proof you are already brain dead! Part of the zombie nation.

And I can even prove it scientifically. Because had you been brought up in that same social and cultural environment as those people who are accustomed to cooking with strong spices, moisturizing their bodies with strange oils and eating their food without cutlery….then all these will NEVER come across as odd or peculiar to you!

So it is NOT you who finds all these sights and sounds alien. It is your scripting and conditioning – your mind. The de facto representative of society that is thinking and responding to all these stimuli’s – the silently proxy of society that is hiding inside your mind is doing all this! And if you do not constantly remind yourself – your thoughts are NOT always yours, that they cannot always reliably serve you well….that there is always a secret agent of society who is always scuttling here and there in your brain conspiring to bring out the worst in you…..you will end up existing instead of living….you will hate instead of love etc etc.

This is how sectarian, religious and racial divisions take root. This is why, there is so much hatred, enmity and endless disagreements in this world.

As since the mind has been conditioned by society; society has subliminally implanted many things in it – the process is so subtle…you are not even aware of it, unless of course you make an effort to remain conscious of this insidious process.

You can observe this in children in the kindergarden playing with other children – they don’t care whether the kid they are playing with is a Indian, Chinese, Muslim or Eskimo. They care even less about faith or whether their parents do hand stands or chants yabadabado before going out into the world…that is because at that young and tender age, the scripting and conditioning of the mind has not begun yet….this is why children do not know how to hate, despise and ostracize others.

I have experienced the same vein of innocence and purity with tribal people deep in the jungle – there was a time when I could only be terribly vexed and irritated by their ways. As they always seem to take my things without bothering to first ask my permission….it was only much latter when I spent more time with them cataloging their language, that I realized…there was no word for ownership or possession in their vocabulary and that was the key that enabled me to reach this realization and insight…the reaction of getting irritated and angry was NOT triggered by what the tribesmen did…it stemmed directly from what I perceive to be scripted and conditioned understanding of disrespectful and rude people who would usually take my things without first bothering to ask my permission…the catalyst of getting frustrated and angry was a bi product of HOW I see the world! Hence, I have imputed that social convention on them which is in effect alien and unknown to their tribal culture, where there is no such thing as ownership and everybody shares everything.

Hence by cultivating the good habit of mistrusting your mind….slightly….by constantly interrogating and auditing it with the free and natural unscripted and unconditioned mind…and if possible by coming to terms with the awful reality – your mind may NOT always serve you well! As since it is already programmed by society, it can only function first as a servant to society, thereby leading you to serve society’s or other people’s specious ends!

You are able to adjust your response and alter you thinking to see the truth in this world for what it is and NOT what others say it is.

Very few know of this simple truth – that is why whenever mankind is baffled he will first misunderstand. Then transform his misunderstanding into an abstraction, where only a few might claim to understand, only to end up politicizing it so that all others may understand his misconception as something sensible…level head and even sound….and when that happens you have taken a position on the issue…it is set in stone, like I don’t like cauliflower….I don’t ever take creme with my coffee…..and when you take such a strong position – no matter how well crafted your arguments, or how clever you are able to convey your views concerning your objects of interest….all you have done is cut off the fields of possibilities, worst of all, you have proven, despite your best efforts to come across as an original thinker – you are NOT your own man!

You are just a proxy of society…a cheap lobbyist whose brain has been gazumped by the collective consciousness of the faceless!’

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