Be natural…be comfortable in your own skin

January 21, 2016

The world will always try it’s darnest to plant a flag on top of your head! That’s the dao (way) of the world! It’s always telling you how you should live your life….what you must strive to own to gain prestige and respectability and happiness. Along with how best you should manage yourself and others.

That’s fine. The problem comes in when we realize too often the world sets impossible standards that only sets us up for the proverbial fall…..that is why so many people feel short changed by the game of life…they always feel as if they’re holding the short end of the stick. But that’s the con job of the way of the world – first it beats you up by screaming in your face….you don’t cut the grade…..then it sells you the solution to what appears to be your lack!

Most people aren’t conscious of this…so they end up falling into this mind trap.

Doesn’t matter what that lack may be. Doesn’t even matter whether it’s real or imagine either – could be that dream job or bottle of eu de cologne…men briefs that magically blesses you with a six pack….that car, girl, condo, country club membership etc etc… it’s the same old trite one and two and you are always down for the count con job.

That’s the reason why the wise will always advise you to FIRST strive to be comfortable in your own skin – I guess what they are trying to say in a round about way is learn to listen to your being…..don’t be too bothered about what others say and think about you…..don’t invest yourself too much in other people….just invest in yourself first and everything else will take care of itself!

When you turn inwards…something magical happens….it starts with just a faint voice.

You will begin to hear this inner prompting of HOW to be the person who you were always meant to be and not someone else the world wants you to be – this is the first sign of a mature mind… always goes inwards to search for the truth!

The mature mind never ever tries to be someone else. As the cornerstone of maturity first demands the responsibility of accepting oneself…the good, bad and ugly….that’s what maturity is all about. It’s not about how many years you have lived on this planet. Neither is it about status, prestige or your nett worth….it’s really only about divesting all the nonsense the world has imposed upon you all these years along with other such nonsense like what it considers as the definition of organizational and personal success.

Once you learn to tune out from the cacophony of the world and cultivate the art of listening to your inner voice – only then can you find your own line….own style…own branding and be the man who you were always meant to be.


‘If you observe carefully the world always wants you to be self conscious – it’s always prompting you to look and compare your lot with the person next to you. It’s always only doing just that!

That’s the dao of the world – it’s always trying to sell you something that you don’t need! Think about it! If the world didn’t engineer a deficit somewhere in your life…how can it possibly sell you anything at all?

That is the brutal economics of the demand and supply of wants and desires.

So the world is by default always conspiring against you…’s always trying to get your attention…drawing you out….distracting you from the important to cast your eyes on the fools gold!

‘Look at how that guy has got it all together!…..look at how short changed you are in the game of life…..look he’s more handsome and successful than you….look he drives a bigger and spankier car than you!…did you see that, he’s got a platinum American Express card….he’s got a hot girl fren…he’s got a bigger dick than you! etc etc.

And should you be foolish to buy into that package – then you will always end up beating yourself up into a pulp…it’s really an emotional and spiritual war of attrition that you cannot emerge as a winner….either way it’s lose lose. It’s like the classical case of the insatiable yearning of the stonecutter to better his lot. But why does he indulge in this great diffusion of energy only to end up where he once started from?


The short answer is because the stonecutter never once saw the wisdom in striving to be comfortable in his own skin – instead of turning inwards for self affirmation, assurance and edification.

The stonecutter was seduced by the dazzle of the world along with faceless opinions of others – to put it another way, he is always trying to be someone else…..always running from the essence of his being…and that in a nutshell is what invariably happens when a man or woman buys into the ideal of the world.

He or she can only fall from grace and feel so beaten up that it will lead to suffering…..if you care to observe all around you….so many people are ensnared in this mind trap!

They needless seek out all the conditions that makes suffering possible….you could just be having a conversation with a girl. Suddenly another girl strolls up. Observe! See how the girl you were talking too tenses up. Observe! How she’s looking at this other girl who has just come along….maybe she’s already feeling shaky. As her handbag is not as snazzy….perhaps she’s self conscious of her appearance…maybe it’s the colorful photos of a recent holiday that this other girl is showing off in her smart phone that makes this girl you were talking too…feel as if she’s missing out in life.Observe! Soon this girl will begin to lose her center and in a while, poof! Her self confidence goes right down to zero! She’s a wreck!

That is what invariably happens when you cast your eye on the world instead of inwards……

It is the same bullshit Chinese opera with men as well…observe…they’re constantly comparing and contrasting….constantly scaling and sizing up each other…constantly searching out for the many contradictions in life…observe!

My point is all these are signs of an immature and petty mind – the mature mind NEVER compares….as the first discipline of the mature mind is always to go inwards and never to cast his eyes onwards on the illusions of this world. Above all the mature mind is very comfortable in his own skin…very comfortable and when one is comfortable, the mind is still and calm like a mirrored lake…it is unshakeable!’

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: