What we do…

Often we are shaped by what we decide to do or not do. Who we will ultimately become is really only a function of our cumulative experience that stems directly from all our acts and omissions.

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‘The problem with sadness, anger, hopelessness, anxiety, anguish, misery and all other ‘undesirable’ states of existence is we automatically equate them with suffering….without FIRST bothering to understand them better.

It’s as if we have marked a carton box ‘SUFFERING’ and placed all these emotions into it without even bothering to reflect deeply on their nuanced nature, only to banish them from sight and mind.*

But these emotional states have nothing whatsoever to do with suffering in the true sense.

The only reason why we consider for example sadness or hopelessness or any other ‘negative’ state of mind undesirable is because we are always trying to run away from them all the time!

They are really strangers to us.

So as time goes by sadness or any other ‘negative’ feelings can only acquire a disproportionate agency of power over our lives. If for instance feelings of loneliness, anxiety or desperation threatens to overwhelm and destroy us…that is the clearest demonstration we know very little about these feelings beyond the belief, they cause suffering……….but once we call out these demons and even go thru the bother of getting to know each of them intimately like good friends.

Suddenly that which was once mysterious and scary loses it’s power to disturb completely and absolutely. Suddenly we find it much easier to come to terms with WHY, these ‘negative’ feelings will always follow us thru out life and even come to accept them. In certain cases, we may even consider them blessings. Suddenly we don’t see them as the proverbial bogeyman any longer as we have come to terms with the reality….while pain may be inevitable….suffering is always optional.’

* Never repress your ‘negative’ feelings. If you do that, they will just hide in your mind like rats and secretly conspire against you….call them out!

Cry if you need too, punch your pillow if you need too, shout at the top of your voice if you need too – there is no shame…this is not a contest of who is more macho….call them out!

And when you do this – you will NEVER be sucked into the whirlpool of self pity and destruction – as since you have befriended that which could have once destroyed you.

You have disarmed your nemesis and rendered him harmless and benign.

And in return for all your trouble – do not be surprise if these friends bless you with insight and wisdom….and this can only make you a better person as since you know for example sadness or misery or lost so well – you will have an uncanny ability to seek it out in others and even commune with their pain and empathize with them to lead them out of darkness into the light.