Why I always write about loneliness

February 14, 2016

Loneliness I imagine will always be an indelible aspect of frontier living. You could even say it’s climatic and permeates every aspect of my existence.

I wouldn’t go as far as to say loneliness bothers me….it did once…but these days I’ve learnt to come to terms with it thru some measure of personal understanding.

I feared it once. But then when I sat on a rock one day and allowed it’s cold tendrils curl around me….I simply saw thru it for what it is…not as something loathsome and ridden with pain and suffering.

Rather when loneliness fingers into one’s soul and tunnels into one’s very essence of being…that’s when a man really come to terms with who he really is.

I don’t expect anyone can outgrow loneliness completely. If they tell you they can – that’s just code for a deep yearning to live a life free from disappointments. Because that is really how it is with people who prefer to be lonely rather than marinating all of themselves with others….don’t ever believe them, when they tell you – ‘I much rather be alone!’ Truth is they have been hurt and disappointed and they’ve just reached the end of the road and they have all but given on the idea of discovering people who might have the sagacity and perseverance to understand them.

I see this all the time with people who wear their loneliness proudly like lapel pins as if it’s some badge of honor – they walk around in their hermetically sealed bubble world oblivious to what’s going on around them – as if only they’ve got it all figure out and they don’t ever yearn to find someone to fill that empty space inside them.

The worst part is these people are all sublimely clever, intelligent and awfully sensitive – and that should prompt any man to ask – why do they do this to themselves? What compels them to withdraw from the world?

I am not going to pretend to tell you that I have all the answers – I don’t! I guess these lonely people do what they do as they no longer expect to find people who will ever understand them and since it takes so much effort and will power to nourish that lofty expectation – they rather live with out it for fear that nurturing that sort of expectation will only grow into some all consuming disappointment.

So lonely people settle for the second best option…the default position…that I wouldn’t go as far as label as resignation or defeatism – as sooner or later, all lonely souls would reach the realization; the best one can ever do is to understand oneself, to know the four corners of who you are as best you can and not be too bothered about what the rest of the world may think or say about them…..there are no rights or wrongs….that’s just how I see it.’

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