Emotional security

When we ask the simple question, WHERE should we begin if we genuinely want to make the world a better place? Most people will tell you, this MUST begin by changing this or that…they are always looking outside to change something.

That is understandable.

As I used to have that same belief – to make the world a better place, one must stand taller and not slouch….one has to speak in a forceful tone etc etc.

But these days. I believe otherwise….real and meaningful change can only start from deep within the self…this is what I have learnt from years of living deep in the jungle in total and complete isolation….these days I realize real and meaningful change can only come from a mind that has complete mastery over itself – and such a mind has to be first emotionally very secure….only then can that goodness work itself out from the man into the broader world.

The seed must first be planted in man….

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‘In work, life and play one has to always be on the look out for people who are gentle, soft spoken and extremely comfortable in their own skin…..ideally these people should be your role models and teachers and NOT me…I ONLY heading there (that could well explain why I still write the things I do in this blog),..as experience informs me these are usually the people who have arrived, that is to say from a scale of one to ten…their emotional security is close to a nine or maybe even a perfect ten.

That is why they don’t ever need to show off….they don’t need to prove anything at all to anyone….they are just the way they are…they’re not even seeking for understanding or acceptance from others…it’s as if these people have their own psychological and emotional ecology.

That is understandable. As the pressure to prove oneself is never there when one has arrived…I am NOT talking about happy complacency…rather it’s like the fabled swordsman who can face off against ten warriors and still come out without a scratch…such an accomplished swordsman will NEVER be very enthusiastic about fighting…as he can already see the before, during and after of the outcome in his head….there is no mystery. Nothing to prove to the world even.

ONLY bear in mind, these are also the same people who are very diligent when it comes to investing in their emotional security. The higher a man’s emotional quotient, the calmer he becomes and the more attractive he can only become…and the converse is true as well….again all this is very natural.

We have all seen this time and again – people who don’t ever bother to invest wisely in their emotional security.

I see this in girls all the time – a girl from 18 to 30 always mistakenly believes life can only be like that all the time. One day she looks at herself in the mirror and suddenly it hits her like a freight train – beauty has departed…it’s bye bye, soon her world comes crashing down bc she is emotionally bankrupt…there is no back up….nothing whatsoever to fall back on except maybe all the junk she has accumulated all these years that even the Salvation Army will frown on – as thru the years she has not bothered with the business of building up her emotional security…all she has done is to live off the credit of her diminishing beauty and now that it’s gone…she has lost everything…it’s downhill all the way!

The same goes for a man, he goes around doing this and that so that others will give him nods of approval instead of investing in emotional wealth and one day when he loses his job or his car gets repossessed – he can’t take the fall from commanding heights and decides to end it all..again this is due to an abject failure to invest wisely in emotional wealth.

When one is emotionally secure, it simply means one is a very good investor…one knows what is real from fake….one knows what will pay out dividends in the long term from what can only be a complete waste of money and time and opportunity cost – one does not do stupid things like invest in things that can NEVER GROW FROM STRENGTH TO STRENGTH WITH THE PASSING OF TIME!

Never! You will never ever see serious men doing all this nonsense and should these serious men see their woman indulging in such nonsense, they will ALL have absolutely no hesitation telling her..you are dragging me down with your nonsensical indulgence…you are holding me back! Please stop! If you cannot do that…go! The serious man is very clear! That is why even the idea of a mate is highly optional to this quality of man.

So you will never see the mature man wasting his time or money on flashy cars or flaunting his wealth on trivial pursuits or to use all those other nonsense to feed one’s deluded emotional insecurity….the mature mind is always whisper quiet about money, status and prestige….in certain cases to the exceptionally emotionally secure man those things may even be optional to the point of being unnecessary….above all for one to aspire to be a true gentleman…a man must absolutely be a master over the self…that is the defining difference between the riffraff and the gentleman….the former is fundamentally a bag of nerves and insecurities pulling and pushing in one thousand and one directions, while the gentleman is like a calm mirrored lake, it’s full of purposeful energy and power.’