Meeting and forgiving myself

June 11, 2016

From time to time I do come across men such as myself…it’s a vampire thing I know they are like me. Do not ask me to describe..there are no words…one just knows…you see there are not many of us.

Those they exist go thru incredibly lengths to hides their past from the prying eyes of the world…most people boast about their glorious past…but not this category of them…they much prefer time to crush into dust.

Nonetheless to the practiced eye, one can tell, as the dark continent has a way of leaving an indelible mark on a man…it is like a birthmark….unlike people who once turned the life in Europe or any other country in the moment of their youth. We rarely ever talk about our past with any feeling approaching endearment. I imagine there is always great pain associated with it that is best never mentioned. If there such a thing resembling a past, it’s a remnant…a residue that has been forcefully eviscerated like napalm…nothing exist of it, not even such a thing as a faint memory…it’s gone forever snatched away by the chastening passage of the wind. It could be the way this man looks at the world with a causal indifference or even a quiet lingering sadness of remembrance if things past….it’s usually very hard to tell as most men who have discovered their fortune in Africa are unimaginably wealthy, so it’s not unusual for them to go to great lengths to hide their unsavory past with a patina of respectability complete with copper clad credentials….when two such men come together. They don’t ever talk. They should. But they don’t. They don’t even look at each other for any length of time..as to do so is to stir the dust the past…and they don’t ever want to do that – they don’t even exchange silent nods of convenvicia like the way old soldiers so often do….they just sit there…each lost in their own world and marooned in the island of their past lives.

Like I said, it is a vampire thing.

When one is young. One must be diligent in accumulating happy memories…..as all the money in this world can never buy these things.

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