Liars and lying to oneself

July 13, 2016

Wherever you go….whoever you choose to associate with…in whatever setting, be it work, life, play or even in a community of faith believers – you will find that people will lie to you….but do not take it personally…as most of the time these lies have no malicious intent whatsoever – and as you observe more….so does your awareness sharpen…..then you will notice that you also lie to yourself.

That is why I say don’t take it personally – as in most cases when people lie to others….they are doing it simply because they don’t have either the courage or strength of character to face the truth – so do not expect people to tell you the truth all the time, because they also lie to themselves….just like you!

All you can really do in this world is control your own thoughts and tongue……to try to do so with others it a very foolish act.

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‘We all lie to ourselves…..it is really a matter of degree that is all and a question of whether those lies are benign and harmless or deliberately meant to mislead to fulfill a hidden agenda – if it is the latter….then I think it is a problem…as since those lies are so destructive….recently, I attended a conference where the speaker used the word, ‘right sizing’ – I interrupted him mid way and asked, ‘what does this word mean?’ This was in a conference filled with people….after his lengthy explanation as to what this word meant….whatever this speaker had to say came across as disingenuous and contrived….my point is avoid such words…as what they do is subtract your credibility – it does nothing positive for you.

You will find when you create the habit of calling a spade a spade – noted! You may not always come across as politically correct. But at least those who you are speaking too will never have any rhyme or reason to ever question your integrity or intent – is integrity important? Yes, I think so if one desires to engage with others meaningfully on a long term basis.

BUT most importantly, integrity to oneself – that I find requires tremendous effort, humility and honesty….the paradox of the human condition is the vast majority of people don’t have a problem when it comes to seeing the wisdom of being honest to others….but when it comes to themselves, it’s really something else. For one, they rather not think about it…..those I reckon are the most destructive lies….as we become the very victims of the lies we choose to tell ourselves.’

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